OCD Action

freddy
Member

Hi,

I have only just discovered this site and would like to get in contact with other OCD sufferers.

I have suffered with OCD for about 9 years, I suffer from 'fear of being responsible something bad is going to happen' and 'fear of harming others because of not being careful enough'. I also have to check that nothing bad has happened or that I did not make a mistake and am constantly seeking reassurance.

I would like to hear from anybody who suffers from OCD as I find it hard to talk about with family and friends because I don't think they fully understand what we go though and how anxious it makes us feel.

Thank you,

Tue Feb 9 2010 18:00:49 #
Unregistered

Hi freddy

A really big welcome to the forum.

It is really hard to talk about OCD to family and friends isn't it? My mum never really understood mine and my husband of 30 years still only understands it a bit. As a result I have been isolated at times.

I have had contamination OCD for 40 years. I am on the forum every day for a short time and will offer any help I can. This is a safe place to talk about your fears and problems.

Are your receiving CBT? Do you have access to self help books? Both have really helped in getting my OCD under control.
Best wishes

Anne

Tue Feb 9 2010 18:12:22 #
jon
Member

Hi Freddy,

Welcome to the forum. All of your symptoms are familiar to me and I'm sure to countless others so you will get plenty of support and understanding here.

Its hard isn't it trying to explain to somebody (non OCD) how a trivial matter like not checking something 'right' can cause anxiety levels equivalent to some major catastrophic event happening in ones lives.

But it can be managed and as Anne says CBT, Books can be a real help and also of course medication.

Best Regards

Jon

Tue Feb 9 2010 18:37:09 #
freddy
Member

Hi Anne & Jon,

Thank you for replying to my post. It is so nice to hear from people who can relate to what I am talking about.

I never received CBT although I would like to try it. I first started having irrational thoughts about a year after my marriage broke down so I received counselling for that.

If you can recommend any self help books it would be much appreciated.

With thanks & regards

freddy

Tue Feb 9 2010 20:07:12 #
Unregistered

Hi freddy

So sorry that your marriage failed and that this triggered off your OCD.

For an easy read 'CBT for Dummies' is widely available. 'overcoming Obsessive
compulsive disorder' by David Veale and Rob Willson, has several sections on your particular obsessions. I have not read it yet, but understand from others that it is excellent. 'The OCD Workbook.' by Bruce Hyman and Cherry Pedrick also has a full chapter on this plus lots of coping tactics. The latter two can be brought from Amazon UK if they are not in bookshops.

Best of luck
Anne

Tue Feb 9 2010 20:25:20 #
Unregistered

Hi, welcome to the forum. This is a great place for support, and I hope that me and the others can be of some help to you, even just by listening.

Tue Feb 9 2010 21:59:37 #
Rena32
Member

Hi Freddy, and welcome! I suffer reassurance OCD as well, and constant worry. You are not alone in your symptoms. I hope that you will get some insight from others on this forum, for it has been of great support for me and just knowing that I am not alone in my OCD symptoms, has really helped me to be able to control them better than I ever have. It is great and I hope that you will have a positive experience as well.

Wed Feb 10 2010 3:59:48 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hiya Freddy -

from me too: a big heartfelt welcome! You will discover that this is a wonderful site. There is absolutely nothing to shy away from here; we freely discuss our fears and worries, something that's difficult to do in 'ordinary' society. Jon (above) hit it on the head: it is hard to convince others that our appreciation, our evaluation of the things that plague us is out of bounds, so that fears that play only a very minor role in those others are to us 'catastrophical', they can dominate our lives, and harrass us endlessly.

If you read my profile and think: hey, I'd like to PM Cuthbert on this or that topic, don't hesitate. I will reply ASAP.

Ciao, Cuthbert.

Wed Feb 10 2010 8:48:20 #
jon
Member

Freddy,

Re books I found Brainlock by Dr Jeffery Schwartz to be quite helpful.

Cheers

Jon

Wed Feb 10 2010 13:49:55 #
freddy
Member

Hi All,

Thanks so much for getting in touch, I felt better just reading all your posts.

Regards,
Freddy

Wed Feb 10 2010 16:06:48 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Freddy,

It's not easy having OCD when you aren't able to talk to family or friends is it?

I too have a fear that I might harm others if I'm not careful and seek reassurance from others. Being isolated for so long I have had to reduce the amount of reassurance that I seek as there was no one to ask! I have now got to the point where I don't have to ask for reassurance in certain circumstances. For instance when I leave a room at say the hospital, I no longer have to ask if I've left anything behind. Instead I state out loud that I haven't left anything, eventually I hope to not even have to say that. Most people now know when I say that to just ignore me, because if they were to reply then they would be reassuring me and so perpetuating the reassurance seeking. It's only a small step forward but it's a step in the right direction. I hope this helps.

Best wishes
Trudy

Wed Feb 10 2010 21:53:22 #
nettlenoo
Member

hello freddy welcome its nice here everybody is friendly and understanding. i have anxiety issues too but i control mine quite well now with citalopram 20mg per day. if you havent been to your docs yet it maybe worth while good luck
annette xx

Thu Feb 11 2010 14:37:01 #
freddy
Member

Hi All,

Over the last few days or so I having been thinking that I'm a fraud. After reading through lots of your posts I'm left wondering if what I have suffered for the last 9 years or so is in fact OCD. Let me try and explain....

When my husband left me I was left to pick up the pieces and just got on with it however, after a couple of years I started getting thoughts about something bad happening if I wasn't careful enough and that it would be my fault. For example, I used to own a flat in a block with 7 others and was one of three trustees of the freehold. I remember working myself up into a state of high anxiety worrying about the buildings insurance and if it was the right policy. I was terrified that in the really bad weather a tree would fall on the house and that if the insurers didn't pay out it would be my fault. It sounds silly but I cannot tell you the state I got myself into. Another example is when my son was christened and I was worried all the guests would get sick after they'd eaten the food I had prepared. I can't tell you how much money was wasted beforehand because food I'd bought had defrosted on the way home so I refused to use it and threw it all away instead of just cooking it.

I used to have a friend that I used to tell my worries to and if she used to say it was ok then somehow it was. Sadly, my friend passed away 7 years ago.

The point is, I am not always in a state of high anxiety but when it does rear its ugly head its awful. I can't think of anything else except my worry and it spins round and round in my head until I feel it will explode.

After first visiting my GP (about 7 years ago) I did see a physcologist and then went for counselling. I also had an interview at Maudsley and was told I would be offered treatment but it would take a long time however, I never heard anymore. At one point I thought I had it under control but I changed jobs 6 months ago and its slowly rearing its head again. I like my job and don't want to leave but I'm fighting hard with my anxiety and I don't want it to beat me.

I'm glad I found this site because it has given me the chance to speak to people who know what I am going through.

I hope my post makes some kind of sense as I find it difficult to write things down.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Regards,
Freddy

Sun Feb 14 2010 16:18:49 #
Unregistered

Dear Freddy

What did the Maudsley say? Whatever is wrong with you, you are certainly experiencing high anxiety. So I do not think that you are a fraud in any way. And if you have benefited from this forum that is great. All I can say is that OCD is an anxiety illness which causes great distress but not necessarily all day long. Mine has always affected me a bit every day from half an hour to 24 hours a day.

Whatever the case I am glad to have you as a friend.
Anne x

Sun Feb 14 2010 16:34:55 #
mama
Member

These symptoms seem very familiar and very much like OCD. Often OCDers will question whether or not they really HAVE OCD...I've heard it is a common obsession. I think thats how we often arrive at 'I'm just plain crazy'.
Glad to know you...I'm new here too.
Andrea

Sun Feb 14 2010 20:53:54 #