OCD Action

Nigel
Member

Hi, I think I'm going to explodewith anxiety and I would please appreciate someone explaining my thoughts to me...pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssseeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to visit a grave last Sunday, and like usual i had to check repeately that i hadnt dropped something. this time i seemed to check a lot more than usual and then i drove around again to check if i had dropped something twice.

i still had this feeling that i may have dropped something on the other side of the grave even though i checked so many times (well the doubt now says i think i did).

I have gone a week without going back telling myself i wud pop back soon. its 60 miles one way! anyway today ive had a great urge to go check! im not suppoed to be going for a few more weeks but i stopped the urge by thinking i will have arange somethink that will mean i will be in the area and i can check.

However I am going out tommorrow night and i keep getting a feeling that if i dont check before i go out tommorrow night something bad will happen to my health. I do this quite a lot and i seem to get over it. However whilst im typing this i have remembered one occasion when it came true.

I had a thought of someone famous getting hurt. I said it was ocd and on that evening last June, my idol passed away.

Can anyone explain why i think someting bad will happen if i dont check?

Thanks

Nigel

Sat May 29 2010 12:57:10 #
Unregistered

Hi Nigel, you say that you get the feeling something bad will happen quite a lot and seem to get over it. It was just a coincidence once when your idol passed away. Your OCD is trying to take a coincidence as evidence. Try to think of all the times when it did not come true. I remember reading about a boy who thought he had caused the falling of the twin towers in America because of his OCD, but because of the difference in time zones his therapist was able to show him that it could not have been something he did or did not do (sorry I cannot remember the details fully).

Sat May 29 2010 13:24:19 #
Unregistered

Oh, Nigel, that’s the worst thing to happen, because it just reinforces the OCD. I'm so sorry to hear of that person's death. When you check, or carry out another ritual, and nothing bad happens, you will believe the OCD was right. The only way to prove it wrong, is by ignoring the urge to check. I am so sorry about what happened to your idol, but it’s a very tragic coincidence.

A young lady I met on a TV programme was in torment with this kind of OCD. She had resisted her obsessions on one occasion and her grandfather died. This made her OCD even worse, because she became convinced that if she had carried out the ritual he would have lived.

We truly can’t have an effect on the lives of others in this way, or on our own health.

Talking of health. Mine has deteriorated over the last ten years. I no longer have the energy to go out. I was diagnosed with M.E. many years ago and my doctor believes the OCD is to blame. What I am saying is that your health will suffer more if you do carry out your compulsions. I know it takes immense courage initially, because you will be terrified you are doing the wrong thing by ignoring it, but it’s the only way to prove the OCD wrong and break free of the vicious cycle.

What help are you getting, Nigel?

Tricia x

Sat May 29 2010 13:28:20 #
Unregistered

Also, there’s a big difference between something called precognition and us having the power to prevent a tragedy by carrying out a ritual. Some people can see events before they happen, but they have absolutely no control over them and they can neither prevent nor cause, harm.

I ‘suffered’ precognition and was told by my vicar it was a gift. I found it totally incompatible with OCD and he prayed I would lose the ability to see events before they happened. However, my rituals would have had no effect, it just made me believe that every thought was going to come true. I was relieved to lose the ‘gift’.

I don’t know whether you just thought your idol would die, or whether you felt you should carry out some ritual to prevent this from happening but failed to do so. If it’s the latter and that is why you feel so afraid to resist the rituals, I promise you no ritual would have made any difference. It really is the OCD convincing you otherwise.

Sat May 29 2010 13:44:33 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Nigel,

Sorry to hear that you're having such a bad time of it.

OCD is such a bully and loves to plant that seed of doubt because once he's planted it he knows that he can get it to grow into a monster.

I like you was a constant checker whilst I was out, but have improved. Don't go back to see if you've dropped something because you haven't. If you had you'd know by now that something was missing. Every time you go back to check it reinforces the OCD and the idea that if you don't check it either means you've dropped something or something bad will happen.

Forgive me but I can't remember - are you receiving any treatment for your OCD? If not you need to go to your GP and ask to be referred for treatment. CBT would help you to deal with these thoughts (and that's all they are, despite what the OCD says). You can't carry on like this can you? It will eventually if left unchecked impact on your health.

Tricia's right when she says

I know it takes immense courage initially, because you will be terrified you are doing the wrong thing by ignoring it, but it’s the only way to prove the OCD wrong and break free of the vicious cycle.

It really is the only way. It's not easy, I'm finding it really hard work, but OCD isn't going to win.
With help little by little you will be able to break the vicious circle and regain your confidence.
Try to keep yourself occupied as this can help. How about some more scenes from OCD Miami? Several of us are waiting for the next instalments.

Sat May 29 2010 14:24:07 #
Nigel
Member

Hi,

Thank you for all your comments, it's so good to have people who understand (if that makes sense)!

I kept repeating an action last year until it felt right but only bad thoughts were in my mind. I was getting annoyed and didn't recognise it as OCD back then and when I had a thought of my idol coming to harm I started focusing on singing his songs as they make me feel better rather than performing the ritual. It was tht night he paased away and it affected me really badly that I ended up travelling around the world just to be near him and saw his coffin.

The whole family felt grieve and whilst I was still travelling around trying to figure how I could stop feeling despair a member of my immediately family passed away. Since then I got heavily into religion and sometimes I'm filling in the gaps I'm not sure of and felling something bad will happen if i don't perform certain action. My OCD has spiralled.

I haven't had CBT for OCD although when I had it for anxiety a few years ago the checking thing was discussed. I can't seem to bring myself to tell the doctor I feel like a crazy person. Also will it affect future work?

Oh, by the way the next episode of OCD Miami is in the Coffee area however it's not great as it's rushed!

Take care and thanks.

Nigel

Sat May 29 2010 18:41:09 #

RSS feed for this topic

OCD Action Online Forums

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

If I don't do it something bad will happen won't it!

Reply

Key

Forum Topic Search

Hot Tags

Achievements

OCD At School

OCD At School

Make A Donation

Make A Donation

Support Groups

Support Groups

Resource Centre

Resource Centre

What’s new

Fundraising & Database Administrator

Volunteer Advocates Wanted

Parents' Seminar - Coping with Stress at School

Art, Me & OCD - Stephanie's Exhibition

Footer Links

Information

Top Stories & News

Helping Us

Users

Sitemap

OCD Action