OCD Action

Hi,

It's the third day or more in a row that I've wasted. It's 12.53pm and I haven't done anything today. My mind is still stuck on the office; it's crazy. The office is where I used to work and I keep thinking I left something in the cupboard even though I must have checked it a few times. Although the anxiety isn't as bad as early morning it's still there.

When I got up at around 3am I ended up staring into space thinking of how I could check the cupboard at the office. But I did check the cupboard when I went back but I'm doubting that now and it feels like I'm not sure.

I dread walking up before it's time cos I get anxious and lay awake for hours! I keep thinking about the office...I had thought I was getting over it but weeks later the office doubt is back...

I really want to get through this but that's all that keeps playing over and over again on my mind. I keep thinking how simply it is to check if it wasn't for the stupid alarm. I keep thinking how there is nobody there apart from possibly one who isnt always there and the alarm.If only I had someone I could trust on the inside I am not doing any harm to them.

Another part of me tells me to tell the site manager that I left in a hurry and due to the situation I don't trust the people in the office to check. She may check but i'll I doubt her. The best solution would be if she opened up for us and but I would only look from the window which would look weird unless I told her or said I don't want to be accused of touching there stuff or that it makes me sad.

I checked didnt I. How many days can I wake up like this or should I try and resolve this by telling the site manager and taking the consiquences if it doesn't solve it. If i don't go near i cant drop anything but if she asks me to meet her there thats where I will be stuck unless I tell her I can't go in.

I know what your going to say. It's just it's unbearable laying awake everyday and then not being able to think about anything else all day!

The weird one!