OCD Action

Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

When replying in another thread here, something came up that I'd wanted to ask quite a while ago:

how is your memory?

I often think that, since my memory is good and very vivid, I have more trouble with leaving behind things from the past than non-patients. I know, it sounds vain, but it is not meant that way: it feels as if my memory has a tendency to remind me, burden me with painful situations that happened in my life, and events where I felt that I had treated others not in the right way.

Also, I can relate stories about funny things that happened long ago, e.g. family vacations. The others involved seem to only have a distinct, blurry reminiscence here, whereas I can reproduce whole conversations, and describe the clothes that were worn, that kind of thing.

Does this sound familiar?

Tks in advance, cheers,

Cuthbert.

Sat Sep 11 2010 14:26:03 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Cuthbert,

I have problems with memory but I can't be sure whether it’s solely because of the epilepsy or if the OCD also plays a part.

My short term memory is poor but I too find that my memories of painful situations especially involving those were I think I might have accidentally hurt or upset people are vivid. It’s almost as if we just can’t let these incidents go.

Thankfully I can also remember clearly family situations and funny things that happened years ago where as others involved have only vague recollections.

Sat Sep 11 2010 17:44:47 #
aishah
Member

Hi Cuthbert,

My memory or lack of it is extremely bad and causes me a lot of distress on top of everything else. I have great difficulty recalling things, past events, details etc. I can vaguely remember snippets sometimes but rely on others to fill me in a lot of the time.

I read sometimes, which I enjoy doing, but often couldn't tell someone about the book, the names of the characters or even the main story line. I continue to read though in the hope that one day things will improve.

It has definately got worse over the last few years and sometimes can't hold a conversation as I can't keep up. My psychiatrist says that is because my OCD has become severe over the last couple of years especially.

I find it deeply distressing as I can't recall things I have done or said to my children sometimes and I often feel stupid.

I have had to give up several college courses as I can't remember the simplest of things and can't remember what has been taught. Even if I take notes, I often don't understand them.

I try to make light of the situation but it's really debilitating.

Bridget

Sat Sep 11 2010 23:07:10 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi Trudy and Bridget -

sorry to hear that. Goes to show how many different manifestations of OCD there are. Your replies are important, because it puts some scientific work in a different light. Scientists do have a habit in simplifying things prior to the implementation of a project - and the tests they use are highly standardized.

Eh, don't forget: for me the both of you are real people, and not guinea pigs...

Cheers, and I wish you the very best,

Cuthbert.

Sun Sep 12 2010 8:27:00 #
Unregistered

Hi all

My short term memory is not good at the moment. But this may be down to being over 60. Names slip out of my head. I went to change back my holiday money two weeks after the holiday and when she asked where I had been the word 'Dubrovnik' totally evaded me. My mind went momentarily blank as I unsuccessfully tried to find the compartment I had stored the holiday in.

I have an idea that the meds are not helping - they do have a slight effect on my concentration - I am making far more typos than I was pre-meds.

On the other hand, my long term memory is like yours Cuthbert. I also have a really annoying ability to remember every argument I have had with loved ones in the past and even dream about them. On the plus side, it can be helpful when you go to a book and are able to open the page you want very occasionally.

Do you think this is part of OCD or meds or both Cuthbert?
Anne

Sun Sep 12 2010 11:19:09 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi Anne -

I definitely think it's a part of OCD. Medication is not generally known to make memories more vivid, for a long time. I often wondered why I am the only one in in a family with 4 children who developed OCD. Purely speaking in genetic terms, there would at least be a great chance of one of my siblings having minor traits of the disorder. There are none.

I think (these days) that it's the other way around. A good long-term memory can be both a blessing and a burden. Bad memories, of any kind, can stay with you and cause stress in themselves. The more 'alive', the more potentially harmful. My very long years of checking were actually a seriously enlarged 'comeback' of behaviour I displayed when I was 12/13 years old. Then already, I began to see my own room as a holy place, to be defended all of the time. Why? Because I could not bear the distress that was there in my parental home. My objects (books etc.) became more valuable for me by the day, so to speak. Somehow the combination 'distress/protecting myself/checking' became a bad running gag in my adult life.

Sounds sad, now that I write it down. But well, have a good day anyway!

Ciao, Cuthbert.

Sun Sep 12 2010 11:35:02 #
Unregistered

I also have a very good, vivid memory, Cuthbert. I find it a curse as well as a blessing. It’s a curse because painful events remain so detailed and vivid. Also, people will tell me about something that’s occurred to them and I remember it long after they themselves have forgotten. This makes it appear as if I am making things up!

At a school reunion, I actually became frightened, because no-one else could recall the events from the past I spoke about. Some seemed as vivid as if they had occurred yesterday. I did begin to think that perhaps I had made some of the more bizarre stuff up, like one teacher who shouted at us for shivering in class, when he had opened all the windows and there was snow on the ground. He would bellow ‘It’s not cold, it’s all in your minds!’. Eventually, someone arrived who did recall the things I had been speaking about and she added to my stories, so I know she wasn’t just being kind and agreeing with me! It was such a relief, I really thought I was going mad!

I used to think that a good memory accompanied OCD, but I no longer believe that to be the case. Only one of my friends with OCD has a really vivid memory.

Sun Sep 12 2010 12:47:03 #
pagey
Member

i have poor short term memory i can't remember what im doing from one minute to the next. I think anxiety could be the cause. My long term memory is alot better i remember the good and the bad times and as you said Cuthbert certain details. Ive always been good at remembering things e.g. birthdays, names of places although my memory is not as good as it was.

Mon Sep 13 2010 21:19:24 #
Tess
Member

Hi Cuthbert
My memory is very much like yours, my long term memory is excellent, I remember events that happened 50+ years ago at school wheras my old school friends have no recollection. I remember places and details of journeys almost photographically. As a child studying for exams I could do my revision and then in the exam I could conjure up a mental image of the page which contained the required information, then break it down into the appearance of the lines and paragraphs, then read it back in my mind. Then, after the exam was over I would have to dismiss t all from my brain in order to take in the new information for the next exam. This meant I learned parrot fashion and obtained very high marks without necessarily understanding the information I was repeating. But this ability came at a cost - whilst studying for final exams at Uni I had 18 exams in a period of just three weeks, at least one every day, sometimes two, and the mental effort of taking in, retaining and then dismissing all the information led to decades of nightmares, all to do with exams.
Now at the age of 65 my long term memory is still superb, despite having been on Seroxat continuously for 18 years. I remember phone numbers and post codes without having to look them up. Occasionally, like Anne, I get a blank when my mind is searching for a word or a name but I just think of it as a "senior moment".

Tue Sep 14 2010 11:27:43 #
Truddles
Member

What was the question?

Tue Sep 14 2010 16:28:35 #