OCD Action

vaibanez
Member

Hi, Im James i'v had OCD for 3 years now and it seems to be getting worse every day.

Around this time last year i went to see a pshyciatrist for the first time and had about 6 sessions but nothing ever got resolved.

A couple of days ago i had a huge argument with my dad about my ocd that really exploded into somthing more, he basically thinks that im impossible to live with ect,

Anyway i ended up going to the hospital to see a pshyciatrist and bassically told her everything i have been suffering through, extreme washing, counting and how eventually i had no choice but to leave school halfway through my fourth year (year 10) there.

I am with the CHAMS crisis team at the moment and will be back to CBT and other anti depresants to help i am told, however the one thing she told be would be best is perhaps living independantly as she said that alot of OCD is about controll of your own environment (bassically i will freak out if you come to close or touch a certain thing).

To me this idea of living alone seems great because for me it will be so less stressfull and better for our entire family really. My dad sugested living in a 'static caravan' as i will bassically be able to live completly in there and wont be so worried about things.

We have the caravan already (at a difernt location) but he refuses to get it fitted untill an "OCD Specialit" thinks it will be better for me, so im asking anyone who reads all this:

Will it be better for me to live on my own?

(p.s im 17 and severly depressed alot of the time, i carnt live with my family at the moment except for my mum and i play guitar, except i can only play guitar when i feel clean which is growing ever harder to play due to my condition)

Wed Dec 23 2009 3:35:56 #
Truddles
Member

Hi James,
Welcome to the forum.
I didn't want you to feel forgotten so as this morning I'm busy with things I find extremely difficult with OCD - having builders in etc I can only be brief. I will however get back to you later on today.
You have completed two hard steps forward already. That is seeking professional help and joining us on the forum.
You say you can't live with your family so where are you spending Christmas?
Recently I've been at rock bottom and the members of the forum have helped me through.
I will speak later with some ideas for you to think about.
Wishing you all the best.
Truddles

Wed Dec 23 2009 10:15:42 #
Nimrod
Key Master

Hi James,

Welcome to the forum.

Living alone can be a very difficult thing especially for young people moving out for the first time. It is quite usual for people to want to become independant and move away from the parents home and many do it almost in stages often by going to college or university before finally getting their own place. The advantage about college or uni is that you are not alone as you will be with other people of a similar age and with similar wants, plus the uni can offer a considerable degree of support. Money can also be a problem. Students are perpetualy skint but they do have some sort of income, however living alone can be very expensive.

Perhaps more important than all of that (and I don't mean to be patronising) but you really need the support of your family to help you cope with and overcome your OCD. I know that this can seem impossible especially given your argument with your dad. The fact is living with someone with OCD can be very difficult and distressing especially so as most people (even some doctors) don't understand OCD and the suffering it causes people. While I don't know the situation with your dad it is not unreasonable to assume that he does not understand OCD so it may help if to get some information about it that he can see. Have a look at the NICE Guideline http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/files/2009/09/nice-cg031-publicinfo.pdf this gives a lot of information. Also you can contact OCD Action on 0845 390 6232 or support@ocdaction.org.uk they can send you an information pack and may be able to suggest how to approach the situation with your dad. Your dad is also welcome to contact us.

I do hope you are able to resolve the situation as moving out and living alone can be very difficult, lonely and stressful. Ideally you need all the support you can get and your family are probably the best people to do that. I know that may seem impossible at present and I also know that it can be extremely difficult for your family, so get the information and share it with your family.

Please do let us know how you get on.

Best wishes,
Caps

Wed Dec 23 2009 10:20:48 #
Truddles
Member

PS However dark it seems there is light at the end of the tunnel you just need someone to show you how to find it.
Keep using the forum.
Thinking of you
Truddles

Wed Dec 23 2009 10:23:09 #
Unregistered

Dear James

I do hope your dad will be more supportive after reading the literature that caps has suggested. I have had contamination OCD for 40 years. My husband has always found it hard to understand my OCD. But suddenly after over thirty years of marriage something has clicked. Being a member of this site and having a therapist whom I trust has been largely responsible for this helpful change of attitude. As I have started facing and conquering my fears and have actively involved him in my therapy our relationship has totally changed. I think that those who love us can sometimes feel overwhelmed with sadness at their inability to make us better and this can come out in anger. But this does not mean that they do not love us.

I do hope that things will quickly change for you. Although I have 85% control I am staying on the forum for some time so as to give back what I have received. So please feel free to send me a PM any time.

I hope you have a peaceful Xmas
Best wishes
Anne

Wed Dec 23 2009 10:51:37 #
Truddles
Member

Hi James,
Right I now have the time to reply having got rid of the builders.
If your therapist thinks it a good idea then why not give it a go.
But the only way that it’s going to work is by you working in close conjunction with all those concerned in your care and that includes your family.
I personally would ask for a family meeting so that your Dad can voice his concerns and be able to get advice from the appropriate people with regards to the static caravan.
It’s still going to be stressful living independently but having said that some of the stress will go.
They will probably provide you with a support worker who will work with you to help you cope with daily life. I have a support worker and she is a real treasure, she has helped to build my confidence. But you need to be willing to work with all involved in order to succeed, the CBT should certainly help you in that respect.
I also made a list for my therapist of all my OCD problems and how each affects me personally.
I was then told to make a ‘wish list ‘of all things that I wanted to do, that at the moment my OCD prevents me doing and to prioritise them into short term, medium term and long term goals, it gives you something to aim for. Perhaps being able to play your guitar when you want without fear of contamination could be one of your goals!
Don’t forget that although you are the OCD sufferer it affects all those around you and so allowances have to be made. Your Dad probably reacted the way he did because he felt powerless to help you. Include the family in your treatment so that they can work with you in order to overcome this.
You need support don’t be afraid to ask for it. Be open and honest with everyone and tell them why you can’t do something because of your OCD. They’re not mind readers and can only know what you’re going through if you tell them.
There is hope and you will eventually succeed.
In the meantime try to make peace and have an enjoyable Christmas. Do what I used to do explain to the family that I was getting stressed and take a time out period of say 15 minutes in your room then return.
Don’t forget everyone gets stressed at Christmas!
Keep talking on the forum.
Thinking of you
Truddles

Wed Dec 23 2009 17:47:46 #
Truddles
Member

PS sorry but my OCD and epilepsy combined tend to make me waffle. I hope that I gave some ideas and have been of some help.
Look forward to hearing more from you.
Truddles

Wed Dec 23 2009 17:51:05 #
Nimrod
Key Master

Truddles,

"tend to make me waffle" That's not waffle, that's good, sound advice.

Caps

Wed Dec 23 2009 20:21:28 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Caps,
If nothing else this forum has taught me that it's ok to accept a compliment even though my OCD doesn't like it. So thanks.
I tried covering up my OCD for too long and I don't want others to make the same mistakes that I made.
Truddles

Wed Dec 23 2009 20:39:37 #
Truddles
Member

Hi James,
Please get back to us and let us know how things are.
It's worrying not knowing if you're ok.
Best wishes
Truddles

Sat Dec 26 2009 17:00:26 #
Unregistered

Hi James

We have not heard from you for some time. Please let us know how you are.

Best
Anne

Tue Jan 5 2010 14:59:32 #
Truddles
Member

Hi James,

Please let us know how you're getting on as we haven't heard from you since you sent your first post.

Thinking of you.

Truddles

Wed Jan 6 2010 15:08:52 #