OCD Action

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Hester
Member

Hi Natasha,

They are at my school, but I left school for good last week and so don't have to see them anymore there. I'm hoping that now I've left, and they're not seeing me all the time, things will calm down. This whole thing actually popped up since I'd left actually, and I haven't seen them since.

My dad says that it's become bullying now. It shocked me when he said this because I thought it was just my axiety making me feel worse about the whole situation, but if a non-OCD person can see it's bullying it must have escalated quite a bit more than I'd first thought.

But, I'm moving in September. Although that's a really scary thought and I'm nervous to be moving, it's a chance to make a new start which is always good.

Hester xx

Fri May 30 2008 17:28:31 #
anxiousgal
Member

[quote="Hester":ze5h56da]Hi Natasha,

They are at my school, but I left school for good last week and so don't have to see them anymore there. I'm hoping that now I've left, and they're not seeing me all the time, things will calm down. This whole thing actually popped up since I'd left actually, and I haven't seen them since.

My dad says that it's become bullying now. It shocked me when he said this because I thought it was just my axiety making me feel worse about the whole situation, but if a non-OCD person can see it's bullying it must have escalated quite a bit more than I'd first thought.

But, I'm moving in September. Although that's a really scary thought and I'm nervous to be moving, it's a chance to make a new start which is always good.

Hester xx

hi there!

Thats' good news you won't have to see them in person again at least! So do I take it what they are doing is what is known as 'cyber-bullying' ? They are bullying you over the internet? If that is the case I would avoid any sites they are on for a while and maybe even consider changing your e-mail address if they have it .They can't bully you if they can't contact you is the way I look at it! Just delete anything you get from them without reading it. When they see they are not bothering you they may get bored and leave you alone. They are childish and looking for a reaction, don't' give it to them!

That is good news you are moving in September. Have you any nice plans for the summer? maybe it'd be good to take up a new hobbie to distract you and maybe you will even meet new friends?

Luv natasha

Fri May 30 2008 20:08:04 #
stevieb
Member

Hello Hester

So sorry I've not replied before, but I've only just read your post.

Yes, it is like cyber-bullying, what these people are doing to you. They are so narrow-minded these people, just because they don't understand something, they ridicule it. I can understand you being so upset by things like being accused of saying something about someone. People can be over-sensitive about things we say, twist things around and get the wrong idea.

I really felt bad for you when I read about how upset and scared you were at their attitude, but don't do anything silly, they're not worth it. And never feel friendless, as all of us on here are your friends, okay?

I doubt if these 'friends' will come on here, but if they do, we'll suss them out, and they can be barred from the forum. Don't worry Hester, we're all on your side here.

At least you don't have to see them anymore, since leaving school. I certainly think you can do without these people in your life, have some decent friends.

Anyway, I hope you're feeling better, and don't worry, things will improve. Do let us know how you're doing.

Best wishes,
Steve

Fri May 30 2008 21:18:29 #
Hester
Member

Hi Natasha,

I keep blocking them but they keep passing on messages through people I know and sending emails (I don't know how to block emails).
People have stopped passing on the messages because I told them how much it was upsetting me but I keep having to read the emails because I have to organise a time to meet up and get some things back off them that they've borrowed.

Hi Steve,

I think the thing that upset me most was the fact that I honestly believed that these people were my friends and that I genuinely believed they wanted to help me, but now they've just been bullying me and drawing out the whole situation just to make me feel worse. The whole thing could have been resolved in about an hour (or less) but they keep drawing it out. The stress is through the roof!

Aww, that's really sweet! I'm glad you guys are my friends. I feel closer to people on here than a lot of people I've met in real life, but I guess that's because you guys all understand things better. It makes me happy!

My parents are doing wonders right now to cheer me up. It's the middle of my exams so they're trying really hard to keep my anxiety at a minimum. Today they took me to Bodnant Gardens, which is a place that I really love (any big garden really). I got to feed my ice cream addiction (I now have a new love for rose ice cream) and I got a new bottle of antibacterial handwash and it smells nice. It was nice to spend a few hours distracted by all the flowers!

Hester xx

Sat May 31 2008 21:08:23 #
anxiousgal
Member

[quote="Hester":6bmlg42u]Hi Natasha,

I keep blocking them but they keep passing on messages through people I know and sending emails (I don't know how to block emails).
People have stopped passing on the messages because I told them how much it was upsetting me but I keep having to read the emails because I have to organise a time to meet up and get some things back off them that they've borrowed.

Hi Steve,

I think the thing that upset me most was the fact that I honestly believed that these people were my friends and that I genuinely believed they wanted to help me, but now they've just been bullying me and drawing out the whole situation just to make me feel worse. The whole thing could have been resolved in about an hour (or less) but they keep drawing it out. The stress is through the roof!

Aww, that's really sweet! I'm glad you guys are my friends. I feel closer to people on here than a lot of people I've met in real life, but I guess that's because you guys all understand things better. It makes me happy!

My parents are doing wonders right now to cheer me up. It's the middle of my exams so they're trying really hard to keep my anxiety at a minimum. Today they took me to Bodnant Gardens, which is a place that I really love (any big garden really). I got to feed my ice cream addiction (I now have a new love for rose ice cream) and I got a new bottle of antibacterial handwash and it smells nice. It was nice to spend a few hours distracted by all the flowers!

Hester xx

Hi Hester!

Thanks for explaining the situation. Is there anyway that a mutual friend could collect the items they have borrowed off you? Are the items important or could you live without them/replace them in the worst case scenario? I ask because I think you really need to get these people out of your life and cut all ties.

Luv Natasha

Sun Jun 1 2008 17:27:28 #
Unregistered

Dear Hester, I haven't been on-line for a while, I'm in a bit of a state right now. I am unable to catch up with all this thread today, but just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.
Love, Tricia x

Sun Jun 1 2008 17:30:21 #
Hester
Member

Hi Natasha,

It's a bit difficult at the moment because everyone is out of school on study leave right now, so people are in at different times. I might ask a girl if she's in when they're in because she seems to have been in every day of study leave.

I would just leave the things, but they're quite expensive (2 box-sets of DVDs, one of which can't be replaced due to it being out of print in that form)

Hopefully once this is done, all ties can be cut completely!

Hi Tricia,

Thank you! I hope you're feeling a bit better soon. I'm thinking of you too!

Hester xx

Mon Jun 2 2008 8:35:10 #
anxiousgal
Member

[quote="Hester":20xv60ri]Hi Natasha,

It's a bit difficult at the moment because everyone is out of school on study leave right now, so people are in at different times. I might ask a girl if she's in when they're in because she seems to have been in every day of study leave.

I would just leave the things, but they're quite expensive (2 box-sets of DVDs, one of which can't be replaced due to it being out of print in that form)

Hopefully once this is done, all ties can be cut completely!

Hi Tricia,

Thank you! I hope you're feeling a bit better soon. I'm thinking of you too!

Hester xx

Hi Hester!

Oh that's something that one girl is always there.Yes, I would ask her if she knows when they are in. I can see how you would want your DVD boxsets back! I have to say I can't believe how these people have turned on you, is there any chance you could make amends with them or is it definitely over the friendship?

Luv Natasha

Mon Jun 2 2008 9:59:54 #
Hester
Member

Hi Natasha,

It's definitely over completely. We've had a couple of bad falling outs previously to this, but we made up again. This time it's just rocketted out of control and gone so much further than the other times. They way they've acted has really put me off even trying to make up again.

Admittedly, it is my fault for getting so upset and anxious. I should keep myself in better check. But they could have at least tried to make a little bit of space for me to get upset. Even my ex-boyfriend (who I'm still on incredibly good terms with, despite the same group of friends falling out with me when I broke up with him...) tries to understand what it's like to be living in an OCD prison! He admitted he couldn't understand it, but he could imagine that it was pretty frustrating. That's all I wanted them to do, not to just call it 'nothing'.

Thinking about it, those friends always fell out with me over someone else's business.... they just like to stick their noses in, under the disguise of being 'supportive'. Well I'm done with them now.

Hester xx

Mon Jun 2 2008 12:13:43 #
anxiousgal
Member

[quote="Hester":3udkzp9f]Hi Natasha,

It's definitely over completely. We've had a couple of bad falling outs previously to this, but we made up again. This time it's just rocketted out of control and gone so much further than the other times. They way they've acted has really put me off even trying to make up again.

Admittedly, it is my fault for getting so upset and anxious. I should keep myself in better check. But they could have at least tried to make a little bit of space for me to get upset. Even my ex-boyfriend (who I'm still on incredibly good terms with, despite the same group of friends falling out with me when I broke up with him...) tries to understand what it's like to be living in an OCD prison! He admitted he couldn't understand it, but he could imagine that it was pretty frustrating. That's all I wanted them to do, not to just call it 'nothing'.

Thinking about it, those friends always fell out with me over someone else's business.... they just like to stick their noses in, under the disguise of being 'supportive'. Well I'm done with them now.

Hester xx

Hi Hester!

I'm sorry to hear that! Don't blame yourself it's not your fault you got upset and anxious. These ex-friends of yours sound a bit insensitive to say the least. And I think they are mean to not give you your stuff back! They sound like selfish, petty individuals you'd be better off without. You should pity them to be honest as it sounds like they have no life! good for you for saying 'sod them!'

Luv natasha

Mon Jun 2 2008 20:42:00 #
Hester
Member

Hi Natasha,

I think they're incredibly immature and selfish, but it's just how they are so I can't really blame them entirely. It's difficult for them to deal with someone who is feeling depressed over what would appear as small things. I can understand that, and I appreciate that but it is still really hurtful to be shunned like this. Quite simply, it could have gone a lot better.

I know it is my fault (at least in part) because I was the one that said it was over completely. I couldn't take their behaviour anymore and I didn't want to be crying every night because of them. Besides, I don't need that in my life! I have a lot to deal with, I don't want to throw masses of petty and distressing arguments into it as well.

It's nice to lose them, but sad at the same time.

Hester xx

Mon Jun 2 2008 21:06:41 #
brennie
Member

Hester, i know how hard it is to say goodbye to old friends, but if theyb are causing you so many problems with petty quarrels perhaps it is better keeping your distance for now, try not to blame yourself ( thats what we seem to be good at ) its not your fault ! keep you head up and remember Hester you deserve more than this, when you suffer as we do the last thing we need is hassle from mates.

love brennie x

Mon Jun 2 2008 23:37:05 #
anxiousgal
Member

Hi Hester!

Yeah I can see how it could be hard for them as well, it maybe confusing for them. I guess there are some advantages to bottling up stuff when your at work or school. Do you sometimes wish you hadn't told them about the OCD and just bottled stuff up? Or are you glad you found out what kind of people they can be deep down? You know it's like that old adage laugh and the world laugh withs you, cry and you cry alone. I was teased in my first year of high school, it was awful. But when it was sorted I learned that not letting things get to me was the only way through it. You seem to have had the reverse, being ok at school and it going badly at the end which must be very painful indeed.

Luv natasha

Tue Jun 3 2008 11:14:19 #
Hester
Member

Hi brennie,

Thank you. Keeping the distance is going okay but it's uncomfortable when I have exams, since two of their mothers work as exam invigilators. But, it's not too bad and I'm getting used to it. Only a few more exams left, and I only have to see the parents for a few minutes since I have a different exam invigilator (I'm in a room on my own when I take exams, due to anxiety)

Hi Natasha,

In some ways, I guess I do wish I hadn't told them and just kept it bottled up because then we would still be friends, but at the same time I really am glad that I told them even though they're so angry with me now. If you can't be yourself with your friends then when can you be yourself? I'm sure I'll make friends that get along with all the parts of who I am. I'm going to be studying overseas for a month (leaving in July) so I'm hoping to meet some interesting and new people! Then in September I'm moving for uni so I'm going to be a busy bee over the next few months! It's a great chance to meet new people, I guess. My mum is more scared for me than I am!

Hester xx

Tue Jun 3 2008 17:48:44 #
brennie
Member

Hester, you are right there hun, if you cant be honest about who you are with your mates, than they are clearly not your type of people ! people like us dont need / want to feel people have to walk on egg-shells with us, all is we hope for is a bit of empathy and understanding, if we are made to feel worthless by our friends and as i have been sometimes ridiculed by them i am afraid there has been no choice but to walk away from them , and you know what Hester "its their loss because we are the bestest friends they could ever have" . When you move away you will meet nicer better new mates who will appreciate you for who / what you are
Your parents sound supportive and careing ... for now thats all you need , and ofcourse your buddies on this forum including Meeeeee !

love brennie x

Wed Jun 4 2008 11:28:08 #
Unregistered

Dear Hester, I agree with everyone else. You deserve so much better. You did right to speak out.

It sounds as though you have a busy summer ahead of you. I do hope you meet the kind of people you deserve to have as friends. Don't forget that we all meet people who we believe are genuine friends but there are always those who will let us down. And, it always hurts, because we are very sensitive people. The secret is to be able to not blame or doubt yourself, to stand firm to your principles and remain loyal (as you do) to those who truly deserve your friendship.

Love, Tricia x

Wed Jun 4 2008 11:58:20 #
anxiousgal
Member

Hi Hester!

It sounds like you have a busy and fun summer ahead and a bright future! You'll probably soon forget these people when you go to uni and make some nice new friends! Are you going anywhere nice abroad? What are you gonna study at uni?

Luv Natasha

Wed Jun 4 2008 12:16:42 #
Hester
Member

Thank you so much everyone!
You guys are the nicest people I have ever met, and you always cheer me up. I'm glad that I can call you my true friends.
I'm feeling a lot better about the whole situation now. I had to go in today and see one of them, but she just threw the bag of my stuff at me and walked off to talk to someone else. I'm glad she didn't talk to me, I'd have probably burst into tears or something.

Natasha, I'm going to be studying in Hong Kong. Hopefully I'm going to get onto a business course for uni, and I'm particularly interested in international business (particularly because I could do translations etc) and so I figured Hong Kong would be a good start. Not so sure about the plane journey (serious contamination fears still) but if I wear my mask I think I can manage it.

Hester xx

Wed Jun 4 2008 12:40:12 #
DEAD!
Blocked

Hiya Hester,

You'll make some better friends at Uni

Wow Hong Kong - that will be kewl
I hope you'll be ok with the plane journey

Take Care

Nicola

Wed Jun 4 2008 14:47:54 #
anxiousgal
Member

Hi Hester!

Thats sounds great, not so keen on flying myself I must admit. But I think if you go t agreat opportunity like that it'll be worth it.

Luv natasha

Wed Jun 4 2008 20:07:25 #
brennie
Member

Hester, WOW Hong Kong ! what a great opportunity , that sounds G R E AT .

love brennie x

Thu Jun 5 2008 22:59:55 #
Hester
Member

I'm scared of the recycled air. I don't want to breathe in other people's air! I can't find any of my masks, but my dad said he would try get some for me before I go. If he can't I'm not sure what I'll do. 13 or so hours of breathing in other people's air... urrgh, it's just so gross.

Then again, I'm hoping that I'll be so tired on the flight there that I won't really care too much. I know I can get the masks over there, so I'm not worried for the flight back. I've got a small cosplay competition on the 2nd, my prom on the 3rd and then I'm flying. So, quite a few late nights!

Hester xx

Fri Jun 6 2008 11:11:53 #
Jerama
Member

Hi Hester,

I fly round the world a lot and I know a lot about aircraft and flying. The air inside the aircraft is a mixture of air from inside and air from outside. Basically the air goes through a special aircraft air conditioning system where the recycled air is filtered, mixed with fresh outside air and then heated and humidified. Because some air is taken from outside some air is expelled from the aircraft. This is a continuous process. Having said that, all the air in the world is finite and air we have breathed or used in the tumble drier or however we have used it, ends up in the atmosphere and is recylcled, filtered and refreshed by nature to be breathed or used in all sorts of ways.

Have a good journey.

Jerama

Fri Jun 6 2008 11:34:30 #
anxiousgal
Member

Hi Hester!

When I have flown and been anxious I have got anti-anxiety pills from my Doctor, they help me sleep on the plane and not feel so anxious. They are only small dose put can really help. I never thought about the air in airplanes much but it does sound gross. But then so is the newer rules that you have to take your shoes off at airports!

Luv natasha

Fri Jun 6 2008 18:24:41 #
Hester
Member

Hi Jerama,
Oh I didn't know that before! Thank you, it's put my worries at rest a little. I will have to keep telling myself that when I'm on the plane.
Thank you!

Hi Natasha,
I'll ask my doctor about that when I see him next. They sound very good. Then again, I'm such a busy bee the couple of days before that I think I will be falling asleep anyway!
I wear disposible socks when I check in so when I have to take them off I can just throw the socks away and put on nice clean ones. I feel much better when I do that. I remember the first time when they changed that, and I didn't realise it before and my dad had to carry me through the airport while my mum ran off to find new socks for me because I was crying so much. Luckily I knew it was coming when I went on the school trip... although a lot of people thought I was crazy throwing my socks into the bin!

Hester xx

Fri Jun 6 2008 18:46:11 #