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Help i think i may have OCD.

(13 posts) (6 voices)
  • Started 1 year ago by Stacey
  • Latest reply from Stacey
  • This topic is Not a support question

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    Stacey
    Member

    Hi everyone this is really difficult for me to write, as i have never really told anyone about the feelings i have and the strange things i do.
    I have a constant fear of dieing, and a fear of my family dieing, if i think about it for to long i freak out and panic, thinking about what happens after we die is unthinkable as i extremely flip out and panic, to make things easier i do really starnge things, here is a list of things i do which for some reason makes me feel better if i do it.

    1. i have to check the time before i go to sleep but before i do this i have to press a button on my phone seven times with my wedding ring finger i then have to say the date and the exact time and then count up to seven on my fingers finishing on my wedding ring finger.

    2. when i drink out of a glass i have to hold it a certain way, when i finish the last sip i have to count to seven and hold the glass tapping each finger and when i end on seven i have to be holding it with just my weeding ring finger and thumb.This is also the same when i smoke a cigarette.

    3. Before i go to bed i have to make sure my oven is turned of i do this by counting again up to seven and turning all the hobs off with my fingers (even if the hobs are turned off).

    4. If i freak out about situations i have to do the counting with my fingers up to seven if i dont feel happy about that, (which is pretty much all the time) then i have to say the words "i take it back" seven times in a row in a strange way.

    I will do all these things several times untill i have felt i have done it the right way.

    I know i should see my GP but i am to worried as i am always going to see him as i think i am always ill or have a something serious such as cancer and i am sure he thinks i am hypochondriac.

    Please can someone help me and thankyou for taking your time reading this.

    Sat Aug 28 2010 13:18:49 #
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    jo
    Member

    Hi Jonerz,
    Welcome to the forum. I'm not a doctor but it sounds like you have some ocd traits. I would go and see your GP even if he thinks your a hypochondriac because it can't be nice living being afraid all the time and he is your access to treatment. maybe try telling him what you are experinencing and let him do the diagnosing, if he doesn't bring up ocd you can always mention it. i don't count but some of my ocd thoughts are similar to yours, i strongly suugest you get help before it takes over your life. this place is great for support too.
    best wishes
    jo

    Sat Aug 28 2010 13:29:39 #
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    Gigolo
    Member

    Personally, it sounds like OCD. Print this posting out and hand it to your GP. It could be much easier than having to explain it to him again. From reading this, I can tell this must have been difficult to do, so anytime you need to talk to any of us, please do. We're a varied group of sufferers and occassional carers for those afflicted

    Giles

    Sat Aug 28 2010 13:43:36 #
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    Stacey
    Member

    thankyou for your support,
    i think i will print it out, as i dont think i would be able to say it out loud, as to me i think i sound silly.
    and its true i am living in fear,i am happy but i think i have lived like this for so long i dont know any better, if that makes sense. Also i cant travel as im so scared i will die thats one of the reasons i have never been on a plane.
    Do any of you know what my doctor will do for me?? and will it ever go away? will i be able to go on a plane and not panic?

    Sat Aug 28 2010 13:53:46 #
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    Stacey
    Member

    in case you wondered why my name has changed,
    well i decided to put my real name, as i feel more comfortable

    Sat Aug 28 2010 14:21:33 #
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    Truddles
    Member

    Hi Stacy,

    Welcome to the forum

    It does sound as if it could be OCD. Printing out the details of your OCD is often far easier than trying to explain it verbally. If you click on the orange box on the right of this page entitled ‘It’s time to know’ it will take you to the OCD Action’s online resource centre. There you will find information on OCD. It includes a GP card that you can give to your GP; it outlines some of the key things that they (the GP) need to know.

    The treatment of choice for OCD is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Have you read any self help books for OCD? A good one to start with is ‘Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder’ by David Veale and Rob Willson. It gives a good overview of OCD and CBT (it’s all abbreviations isn’t it? )

    Never give up hope with help you can learn to gain control of your OCD instead of it controlling you. OCD's a bully and needs to be put in it's place

    Trudy

    Sat Aug 28 2010 15:21:41 #
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    Unregistered

    Hi Stacey,
    I know what you mean about worrying about death. I tend to block out thoughts which wonder where we go when we die. I imagine it as a sort of black nothingness, a bit like when you have your eyes closed, forever and ever. But I try to believe that that's not true.
    A friend of mine said once that she doesn't think about death as it is a mystery and we don't know what it's like until we are actually dead and what is the point wasting your life pondering over what happens afterwoods?
    I think she has a valid point, but it would still be comforting to actually know what happens afterwoods.
    It's just a complete mystery and I don't know why we don't have the answers to it. Maybe we're just not meant to know. Maybe death is really some sort of prize and lets face it, if we knew it was something nice we'd all go and top ourselves wouldn't we? Perhaps death is just a way out of this life, this world, but the begining of a whole new adventure? Sad thing is, we will never know, we can only guess, until one day we also die and or bodies slowly turn to dust, rotting in our coffins and then the last people who remeber us die too, and our grave, our existence, is forgoton.

    Why do I get the feelin' I just made things a whole load worse? D**n! - Jess

    Sat Aug 28 2010 15:24:39 #
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    Stacey
    Member

    Thankyou Trudy for your suggestions, and no i havent read any books, i havent even looked into anything about OCD i thought i was just wierd untill i read a story in my magazine about a woman who was suffering from OCD and many of the things she did i did, thats when i saw this website and i thought maybe i also have OCD. i will look into reading some books about it, as i dont know what help i can get or if i can even get any, to be honest this all feels a bit unreal, i cant explain it, its like im making it up in my mind but im not, it just doesnt seem like i have something wrong im sorry i cant really explain myself very well, but maybe its because i have always done these things since i can remember and im 20 years old now, so maybe its time i did what i wanted to do instead of being scared all the time.

    and dont worry Jess you havent made things worse, i just wont be able to read your post again as if i think about it to much i will freak out, but your right im absolutly terrified that the end is just nothingness and i cant cope i need to feel happy about the after life it scares me to much i wish i could come to turms like you i couldnt even write those words down even if i wanted to.

    thanks again Stacey

    Sat Aug 28 2010 16:05:37 #
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    Unregistered

    Yeah, I fear it being nothingness, but I like to believe it's not. Just tell myself that it's not, I don't think about it. It's not worth it. I know what you mean, I think people with OCD always have it to a extent because I can remember certain things from when I was younger that are similar to/the sam as what I have/do now. I think OCD tends to flare up under stress and puberty. Unfortuntely, my OCD is a result of both, mostly the stress. Bloody b*****d schools, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...........

    Sat Aug 28 2010 16:18:56 #
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    Stacey
    Member

    yeh thats true, i find myn gets a lot worse in the winter aswell, or when im alone.
    thanks for the support and i hope school doesn't stress you out to much, when i get stressed i just take a deep breath and try not to think about it and think about good things in my life instead

    Sat Aug 28 2010 17:17:23 #
  11. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    If your OCD gets worse during the winter you might consider getting a 'lightbox' - they are generally for people who suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) but there is evidence that suggests they improve mood in the general population and in people suffering from OCD. I have one and I definitely find it makes a difference. You can get them on Amazon.
    Good luck with your doctor, posting here and realising that you may have OCD are huge steps in your recovery. x

    Sat Aug 28 2010 18:05:14 #
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    Unregistered

    Luckily, I don't go to school anymore. Honestly, I had to leave due to the amount of stress.

    And thinking about the good things insteed is a good way to deal with it.

    Sat Aug 28 2010 18:07:51 #
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    Stacey
    Member

    yeh it is a good way but i still wish that i didnt have to deal with it in the first place lol.
    and thanks relieved OCDer i will look into getting one of those as winter always gets me down.
    right well im going to make a appointment with my doctor on tuesday, god i am sooooo nervous i just feel silly, but anyway i will let you all know how i get on.
    and thanks again to everyone, you have all made me feel so much better about myself, and its nice to know that im not just a wierdo

    Stacey x

    Sun Aug 29 2010 12:02:48 #

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