OCD Action

bunnymad
Member

Hi everyone,

Firstly can i say hi its been a while since i have been on here. Thought i was doing so well, and now it feels like i am slowly getting worse again.

My anxiety seems to have increased, agitated a lot and irritable. I feel totally uncomfortable most of the day. Feel uptight, drained, and like the worst person in the world at the moment.

trying to loose some weight, as i am four stone overweight. This in turn is putting pressure on my joints, and i am tired and ache quite a lot of the time. Another thing is i have a bad back which flares up nearly everyday annd this is causing me lots of anxiety and its making me obsess and focus on the pain more and more. I feel super aware of when the pain starts i become even more tense and on edge.

sometimes i feel so super anxious that i feel like i am gonna explode with a mass panic attack. Feel like i am totally alone in this world and that no one truly knows what i am going through. apologies for any mispelled words, i am typing one handed with my son on my knee at the moment.

please anyone got any advice, feel like i may pop. is life really supposed to be this hard as a mum. why me. why did i have to develope this?

Sun Feb 5 2012 15:33:06 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hiya Bunnymad -

good to have you back. I really feel sorry for you, after reading your story. I'd like to write more, but the Uni Library where I'm working will close in a couple of minutes, I have to go save and log off. But I'll write back tomorrow, and at any rate, I'm thankful that I just was able to catch your post right now.

All the best, and I am certain that others will chime in too, this evening.

Bye for now, Cuthbert.

Sun Feb 5 2012 15:52:35 #
aishah
Member

Hi Bunnymad,

I completely understand how hard it is being a Mum with OCD. My children are 16 and 23 now but you are still a Mum even when they are older, also my youngest has a physical health problem so it's ongoing.

All I can say is try to get some time for yourself if possible to do something that you enjoy, even if it's just reading a book. I too am overweight and really struggle to lose weight because of my mood being so up and down. I don't seem able to think positively for long, I join a gym, go once and then not again for another couple of months.

Because of the constant battle with my mood and OCD I find it hard to stick to anything. On a positive note, things do get easier as the children get older so hang in there!

Hope things get easier soon, and you're not alone, you've got us.

Bridget

Sun Feb 5 2012 17:50:36 #
Truddles
Member

Hi,

Welcome back to the forum.

Dieting in itself can make you ratty and irritable and demoralised especially if you don't lose the weight that you had hoped to lose.

I lost 47 kg with comparative ease by changing to a low GI diet. It's not a diet as such more making subtle changes to what you eat. You just have to substitute high GI foods with low GI foods. You won't feel hungry (I rarely managed to eat all that I was allowed each day and I had a healthy appetite).
The following site is from Sidney University Glycaemic index It means that you won't have to cook separate meals as everyone can eat the same just adjusting the amounts.

Sun Feb 5 2012 18:30:23 #
bunnymad
Member

Thanks Bridget,

Most of what you have said rings true with me too. My mood is up and down like a blooming yo yo. I wake up in one mood and go to bed having been on a rollercoaster of moods that day.

Can i ask you do you find that You sometimes have exstatic almost totally elated moods, and then within in a few hours your mood can drop really, really low?

Also with the weight issue, my back is worse cause of my weight, which has a knock on effect of my ocd and then that affects my self-esteem, what little i have.

I really dont like myself very much. I am always putting myself down. Finding it really, really hard being a mum at the moment, as i suffer with so much self-doubt, ruminating, catastrophising that i find it very difficult to do the littlest things/tasks.

And Thanks Cuthbert for reading my post and getting back to me.

Its really nice to know i am not alone with all this crap in my head. Cant believe how much thoughts give me so much distress.

Thanks everyone it means a lot.

Laura x

Sun Feb 5 2012 18:37:25 #
Truddles
Member

Also with the weight issue, my back is worse cause of my weight, which has a knock on effect of my ocd and then that affects my self-esteem, what little i have.
I really dont like myself very much. I am always putting myself down
That could have been me saying that. But slowly losing the weight by eating healthily will certainly help to boost your confidence and self-esteem.
Unfortunately because of my various medical conditions and a lack of cooking facilities I've put on 20kg but am seriously trying to shift that. Just wish they'd do the repairs as ready meals are crap

Sun Feb 5 2012 18:44:36 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi everyone... Being a Dad is difficult too, when I stop to think about it... I'm supposed to be sort of the head of the family, but I can't function like that... I really should be providing for my family, but I cannot do that as yet... The house is a tip some of the time, but I struggle with picking stuff up off the floor...
Wannabe

Sun Feb 5 2012 18:46:22 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi Laura -

I really enjoy it that you're back, and described your current moods so openly. That is refreshing and you get good feedback, as I saw in the other replies: practical stuff with real value as for health and gaining more self-confidence.

Losing weight would help, I am convinced of that. It is a real art to do that, esp. for someone who has OCD. We tend to over-react to any relapse, how tiny that may be, and also often set ourselves unattainable goals, because in our quest for perfection we place the bar too high.

IIRC there is a proverb that goes: 'to err is human, to forgive is divine'.

Normally the 'forgive' part of it relates to: forgiving others. Well, we must forgive ourselves, in cases where our mood, our OCD, causes some lapse in us that we see as very serious, and that others would qualify as something completely unimportant.

If I may ask: would you label your quick and serious mood changes label as 'bipolar'? Please don't feel anxious about my question. Obviously you suffer from those mood swings, and there are forms of medication for such conditions. I really wish you a more serene state of mind. From the information you gave us, I'd say: losing some weight, thereby reducing the physical pain, and (re)gaining more of an equilibrium in your moods would be very, very beneficial to you.

Always feel free to send me a private message in matters that you consider sensitive.

Best from Cuthbert.

Tue Feb 7 2012 9:14:06 #
aishah
Member

Hi Laura,

In answer to your question, I don't get really high moods then low moods, just a constant shift in mood, but a more gentle one.

Hope you're feeling better today.

Bridget

Tue Feb 7 2012 10:08:11 #