Hi Swan,
Sorry you're not feeling too good at the moment and hope you feel better soon.
I am looking forward to you recieving your in-patient treatment coming up soon.
In terms of medication, I have taken several different ones in the past and have had some nasty side effects, especially whilst on Clomipramine so understand your fears of trying different ones.
I now take Escitalopram and Olanzapine and they both seem to take the edge off things for me, especially the Olanzapine which helps with my anxiety a great deal.
I hope you find the right one for you soon.
Bridget