OCD Action

OCDLONELY
Member

I have been feeling so low. I don't know what to do anymore. There seems no point to my life. I have nothing to offer and I see no way out of the mess i'm in. I'm scared all the time and nothing I do makes any difference. I want a life but I can't carry on much more like this. I really dispise myself and can't imagine anyone wanting to know me. If people had any idea of the things I do and the state I'm in they would be disgusted. I want to fall in love but I can't see any girl or woman being interested in me. I want to be a father but how can I when I'm like this. There are so many things I want to do but this damn illness stops me. I wonder if I died would I be missed by anyone, I think my family would be upset but they would get over it and probably be better off for it. I have no friends other than the lovely people I have met on here. I'm so lonely. I just don't know if I have a purpose in life. What am I here for? I want to help others and make a difference but how can I when I'm like this? I just feel so empty and lost

Tue Jul 22 2008 18:45:42 #
sammy
Member

hI OCDLONELY ,
I am so sorry to read you are feeling so bad, this illness can make you feel like you have reached rock bottom can't it. im sure that your family would be extremely devastated if anything happened to you and they probably wouldn't get over it and they would im sure not be better off without you. I know how this illness makes you feel but when you think of the lovely friends you have made here it shows you that ocd affects lovely people and that includes you.
have to go now (baby has woken up) but take care, sorry it was a short post

Wed Jul 23 2008 0:11:10 #
brennie
Member

Daniel your post has moved me to tears darlin, i can almost feel the pain you are going through.
I do understand the ( discusting ) things you do and the mess you are in ! but Daniel please remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel , you have been offered a life line just like myself , and when we both go into the Bethlam we have the chance to find some self esteem for ourselves and hopefully come out of there after the 12 weeks completely different people, i am not saying OCD free ( that would be nice ) but i am saying that they will help us to cope better and deal with this evil condition better.
Your thinking that everyone around you would be better off without you is NOT true, that is your OCD telling you that , your parents would be devestated without you, they want whats best for you which is the Bethlam, i know the thought of inpatient care is terrifying you but honestly Daniel as you already know i am petrified myself !! but i have lost the plot at the moment so last week i rang the Bethlam to ask my date for admition , thank GOD i have been given my date which is end September beginning October which cant come quick enough. I really hope that you might be in at the same time as me because after our long chats i feel i know you so we could be of great help to each other.
You said if people on here new what you did they would be discusted ..... well i know several things about you Daniel but i think you are wonderful / marvellous to have coped with all your OCD obsessions / rituals for so long, and i know that our dear friend Tricia feels the same way about you.
I do hope you have a better day today Daniel,
Keep in touch , i wish i could do more for you sweetheart
Please keep in touch,
love brennie
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wed Jul 23 2008 8:01:35 #
Unregistered

Oh, Daniel, I am so, so sorry. Bren, and anyone who has faith in prayer and healing, please join me at 7.00PM every evening. The more of us who think of Daniel the greater the power of healing.

Love, Tricia x

Fri Jul 25 2008 13:03:44 #
brennie
Member

Tricia, i will join you at 7pm in prayer for Daniel.

Daniel, how are you ?

love brennie x

Fri Jul 25 2008 17:20:17 #
OCDLONELY
Member

Thank you everyone for the messages of support. It does help and is very much appreciated. I'm doing o.k but still stuck where I am with no idea how to get out. I just need some hope I guess. Take care everyone.

Daniel

Fri Jul 25 2008 19:07:08 #
sammy
Member

Hi Daniel,
just wanted to say that i was glad to read you are ok, you take care of yourself.
off to bed now nite nite!

Fri Jul 25 2008 22:06:52 #
brennie
Member

Daniel , i was glad to see you have been on the forum , try keeping your chin up my friend !
Give me a ring if you need a chat,
love brennie x

Sat Jul 26 2008 0:04:24 #
swan
Member

Hi,
Theres things that most of us do that e are scared as to how others will react. Their are things that i dont share for same reason.
I am waiting to go to the maudsley as an out patient and im petrified.

Sat Jul 26 2008 1:28:10 #
brennie
Member

Swan, try not to be worried about going to the Maudsley, it is a marvellous hospital and everyone is so very kind and understanding , you can tell them absolutely everything because they are used to hearing it , nothing we tell them can shock or astonish them , they are the experts who understand us better than anyone.

love brennie x

Sun Jul 27 2008 2:19:48 #