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Feeling Really Low and New to Medication.

(42 posts) (8 voices)

Started 5 months ago by ACB33
Latest reply from wannabefree
This topic is Not a support question

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Medication

ACB33
Member

Hi Everyone,

I hope all you fellow OCDers are doing well and are looking forward to Christmas...

I havent been on here for a while because I was getting on really well and my therapist advised me not to do too much reading because it was becoming a safety behaviour for me. I was doing really well and honestly thought I was getting somewhere but over this past week I just feel so so bad and like Im right back at square one and its so terrifying.

I was really against medication in the beginning and im still not happy about the idea of taking them but I think I need that extra bit of help to get me over the low periods. I have been taking natural remedies for a while which I think really did help me in the beginning but I dont think its strong enough to help me at the moment.

I had to go to my doctors this morning (as mornings are my worst time of day!) and in amongst me breaking down in tears I asked for some extra help so he has now proscribed me with Fluoxetine tabs and Im determined to stay positive that these are going to help rather than hinder.

I just wanted to ask any of the girls out there (and sorry to the boys in advance) do any of you find that your OCD is worse when you go through your monthly menstrual cycle? It ALWAYS makes mine 100X worse than any other time. I just wondered if anyone else found this?

I hope everyone else is getting on well - I read a few threads this morning where people had said that mornings are worse for them - I hate mornings anyway But I cant lay in bed like I used to which is depressing in itself.

Anyway be interested to hear how everyone else is getting on.

Take care all

ACB33

Wed Dec 14 2011 10:36:53 #
Tess
Member

We've discussed this before on the forum, have a look at this link.
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/ocd-and-period-link#post-49442

Wed Dec 14 2011 11:41:39 #
Tess
Member

Here's another link, you can use the forum topic search for others.
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/can-ocd-be-related-to-pmt#post-42346

Wed Dec 14 2011 11:53:57 #
ACB33
Member

Thank you for the links Tess. Its very interesting actually. I always seem to be ok running up to them but its when i get them i suffer. I hate it.

Thanks again

ACB

Wed Dec 14 2011 12:21:16 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi ACB, welcome back to the forums... Give your medication time to work, it will take a little while, but persevere with it, it is a good medication which has helped me too... I don't know about the periods cos I'm a fella, but I tend to think that these times certainly won't help your OCD... Mornings are worst for me too... I try to practice waking relaxation while my thoughts try to settle down... It is warm and comfortable in bed, so it is a good place to practice relaxation techniques... I just find OCD a struggle all the time, and on most days, but there are times when it lifts...
wannabe

Wed Dec 14 2011 12:41:49 #
ACB33
Member

Hi wannabe - I seem to be having 2 converstaions with you now

Im glad to hear the medication has helped you - I just wish there was something you could take that would relieve all this stress and fear that seems to weigh us down almost every minute of every day! I only started on the meds today so Ive got ages to wait for them to kick in but my doc said I should start to notice a difference within a week but can take a month to feel full effects.

I am exactly the same as you though - I have 2 or 3 days where Im in real distress all the time but then I have a few hours - days if im lucky - where it lifts and I can tell myself how stupid all this is and that I need to get on with my life - but sometimes when you do this it makes it worse. Talk about banging your head against a brick wall!!

ACB

Wed Dec 14 2011 13:22:58 #
Twitchy
Member

How u feeling ACB33?

Wed Dec 14 2011 20:32:22 #
wannabefree
Member

Yes ACB, I agree!!! No problem though... I appreciate it... This is better than having no one there at all, which is how it was before I came on here... I've managed to kick start my writing again too, I'm writing all my problems down so I can see them in front of me... It is better than just having it swimming around in my head...
wannabe

Wed Dec 14 2011 20:35:42 #
ACB33
Member

Hi Twitchy & Wannabe

Im feeling ok thank you for asking. Much better this evening than I have been for a few days. I had another CBT session today and really made a break though I believe. I know a few people know but I had major heart surgery last year and have only been suffering with this for a few months. My therapist believes its a mixture of PTSD thats bringing on the OCD (as Im unable to talk about the operation without crying at the moment) so I am having to have therapy based on these 2 things which is going to be very hard work but I need to do it to get my life back. All this has made me terribly miserable and I have no enthusiasm for anything at the moment - everything is like 'whats the point' and thats why I knew i needed the tablets but Im still a bit apprehensive about taking them but Im sure they are the missing link I need to get over this.

Anyway How are you this evening? - I know whats been going on with Wannabe - he has done amazingly well today with this fears and should be very proud of what he has achieved

ACB

Wed Dec 14 2011 22:41:45 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hiya ACB -

I am a male, and I wholeheartedly offer my apologies for that

That said: an increase in OCD is 'normal' when a woman is having her period. OCD and several hormones are somehow linked together; estrogen (estradiol) is a case in point.

That is why any major hormone imbalance can worsen symptoms - pregnancy and giving birth are common examples. The menopause is another one.

I can give you reassurance re: fluoxetine. It won't harm or hinder you. It will increase your levels of free serotonine in the short run (you won't notice that immediately, BTW) - but after, say, 4 to 6 weeks you will find that your emotional situation has improved. That is because certain important brain areas will have got a healthier structure, and that takes some time. You'll think more positively, feel better, and will become more flexible in your thinking (meaning: if something has gone wrong, you'll be able to see the relativity of that, and think of a good alternative).

Best, Cuthbert.

PS: and welcome back!

Thu Dec 15 2011 9:26:06 #
Tess
Member

Hi Cuthbert
No need top apologise for being male, the world would be a miserable place without you gents and I am eternally grateful that so much of my life, personal and occupational has been spent in the company of men and boys. You may not have ladies problems but you have plenty enough of your own. The suicide rates male v female testify to this - and life expectancies.

Thu Dec 15 2011 10:33:03 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi everyone... Yes, both genders have their own, and some of the same problems... We're all suffering, each in our own unique way... I hate this OCD with a vengeance... I managed to get the wheeliebin in today, and just wash my hands in washing up water after, so I've made a few strides today, but not in the ways I wanted... There's always tomorrow, though I hope the morning will be better tomorrow...
wannabe

Thu Dec 15 2011 18:06:08 #
ACB33
Member

Hi everyone,

Firstly thank you Cuthbert for your help and advice on the above issues, it's nice to have a bit of reassurance as most OCDers know and as Tess said there is no need to apologise about being Male We are all suffering as Wannabe said so we are all in it together. I've had a really bad morning again. Been up since 5:45am and been very shakey and can't relax it's horrible. I seem to be waking up in panic attacks at the moment (heart racing, shaking etc) its horrible. I'm really hoping the medication will bring this to a more manageable state because the mornings are the worst thing at the moment and it seems to ruin my day which is rubbish. I have very little appetite when in like this too which doesn't help because I know hunger can make OCD worse too. Talk about fighting a losing battle at the moment I telly hate it.

Wannabe, don't be too hard on yourself and don't put yourself under too much pressure. You did amazingly well the other day with the trouser and dock victory. Don't forget OCD is hard to shift and by you feeling like you have failed to do something will only make the battle harder. Just be very pleased with yourself with what you have already achieved this week and be sure to know your taking the right steps to battle this. My therapist always says to me I'm going too fast and expecting too much too quickly, again this only reinforces the belief that we cannot beat this when we can and just need to learn to be patient. Yet another bit of advice that's easily said than done!

Hope everyone has a good day and stays safe in the bad weather that's forecast!
ACB

Fri Dec 16 2011 7:24:39 #
Twitchy
Member

Morning everyone.What is it about mornings,they're hell.I'm currently sat in the canteen in work trying to fight back the tears.How long have u been on yr medication ACB?

Fri Dec 16 2011 7:38:31 #
ACB33
Member

Hi Twitchy.

I have no idea how you even manage to get to work in the mornings! That's an amazing achievement in itself. I've only been on medication for 3 days so I've got a long time for them to kick in. The docs said I should start to notice a difference after a week but full effects after a month and I know they can sometimes make you worse before they make you better so in not worrying too much yet.

ACB

Fri Dec 16 2011 8:41:06 #
Unregistered

Hi ACB33,

I think you're doing brilliantly.

OCD is an absolute nightmare to live with, so every step you take to get rid of it shows how strong and determined you must be. So don't forget to remind yourself every so often that you -- and everyone else on this forum -- are a star, and that you are already a big success, just because of the steps that you have ALREADY taken to overcome your illness.

Re: medication, I have been taking 20mg per day of Fluoxetine for several months. When I started taking it, I was hoping for an instant feeling of calmness. Boy, was I in for a shock! For the first 4 weeks on Fluoxetine (20mg), I was even more shaky than I'd been before! I was physically shaking at work (embarassing!!!), and my anxiety seemed to shoot up. I lost my appetite, couldn't eat, and lost weight. I didn't feel any better for at least 4 weeks, maybe even 6 weeks. In fact, I felt much worse for the first 3 or 4 weeks.

But...after about 6 weeks I started to feel calmer. And after about 8 weeks, I started to notice that I could sit in the park and look around me and feel calm, looking at the trees and the butterflies and the other people (it was during the summer!), and that my head wasn't full of thousands of negative, self-destructive thoughts, as it had been before. I realised that the Fluoxetine had started to help.

I would say it was at least 6 to 8 weeks before it started to work on me. But I've stayed on 20mg per day of Fluoxetine for maybe 6 or 8 months, and I think it's really helped me.

I was on Fluoxetine while I was waiting for my first couse of CBT to begin. I suspect that being on Fluoxetine for a few months before my CBT started may have been a good thing, as I was much calmer when I started my CBT course. (Before that, my head was constantly full of anxieties and panic and worst-case scanarios.)

Only a medical doctor can advise you on medications. However, I would mention that my personal experience as a sufferer was that the Fluoxetine seemed to take up to 2 whole months to start helping at all, but that after 2 months, it seemed to make a big difference to my quality of life.

I hope you have a fantastic Xmas ACB33 -- and on Xmas Day I want you to remind yourself that you're a good person, you're a caring person, you're not a bad person, and that you are simply a nice person with a nasty illness, but that that illness is absolutely treatable, and that many people have benefited from the treatments currently recommended in the NICE Guidelines for OCD. (CBT, ERP, and / or some anti-depressants.)

Merry Xmas!!!

Fri Dec 16 2011 8:53:14 #
ACB33
Member

Hi Londoner

Thank you do much for your lovely message and your help and advice about the medication. I feel a little silly not going on the medication sooner as the anxiety I have has got progressively worse over time. Its actually part of my OCD that I have that I'm scared about taking certain medications. I didn't want to become addicted to them and I know they can have done pretty nasty side effects but I have spoken to do many people who say that they have certainly helped ALOT which made me realise that I was probably pushing away the very thing that would help me. I'm just now taking the meds (without reading the side effects as that's just not going to help at all, doing the CBT and trying to stay positive that I will get out of this mess. Mine is down to PTSD but its triggering OCD, I have no idea which is worse but I think it's all working together to keep me in a state of fear and unrest.

Do you mind if I ask you how your getting on now with your OCD because yours sounds exactly like mine with the catastrophic thinking and AWFUL intrusive self destructing thoughts?

Anyway thank you again for your message and I hope you have a lovely Christmas.

ACB

Fri Dec 16 2011 10:05:20 #
Unregistered

Hi ACB,

thanks for your post.

In answer to your question, I feel like a new person. My course of CBT has really turned my life around. I can't describe how low I was at the start of 2011, and I'm finishing the year full of optimism and hope.

My psychotherapist has been fantastic. I think I was lucky that I happened to find a good one. (But I did see private therapists before, who weren't doing CBT, and who I enjoyed talking to, but they didn't really help me at all.)

It wasn't until I did a course of CBT -- and stuck with it -- that my life started to get better.

Like most OCD sufferers, I started off thinking in terms of an "all-or-nothing" recovery. If I'm not 100% OCD-free, then I'm a total failure. That was my outlook. But now I understand that the WAY I LOOKED AT EVERYTHING was part of the problem.

Now I can look at my OCD in two different ways. If someone wants to know, "Can OCD be cured?", then I'd say, yes, it can. And if another person says, "OCD can't be cured, it can only be managed," then I'm happy to agree with that too. (It just depends on how you look at it.)

You can CHOOSE how to look at the world around you. I lived my whole life thinking everything was black and white. But now for the first time I understand that I can CHOOSE to look at things in different ways. And how I look at them will affect how I feel about myself.

My therapist did a lot of work on explaining "Cognitive Errors", or "bad thinking habits". Understanding this (it took a while!) finally opened my eyes. I finally realized that I can look at the same situation in totally different ways. That I can be in the same situation, and look at it either as a success, or a failure, or a bit of a success -- I have the power to CHOOSE how to see my life.

That sort of cognitive work (the "Cognitive" part of the CBT) was priceless.

I would say that for the first time in many many years, I have a good quality of life.

Do I still have OCD?

I can choose to look at that question in a number of different ways.

Am I cured?

Same answer.

Am I disabled? Do I have a long-term illness?

Same answer again: it depends how you look at it.

What I can tell you is that I now believe that everyone on the planet has intrusive thoughts, images, and impulses. And that everyone on the planet can choose whether or not to act on them. And I can tell you that I have certain intrusive thoughts far less frequently than I used to, and that when I do notice them, I do not get distressed any more. Because I finally understand that a thought is just a thought.

And that, to me, is OCD Freedom.

Fri Dec 16 2011 11:02:05 #
Tess
Member

Well said Londoner - reminds me of a question put to the panel at the recent Radio Cornwall debate - is it possible to be mentally healthy if you have a mental illness and the answer was a resounding YES.

Fri Dec 16 2011 12:35:26 #
ACB33
Member

Hi Londoner. Wow I'm so so pleased for you that you have got your life back! That is a fantastic achievement and you should be so proud of yourself that you have come through it a stronger person. Im really really low at the moment and simply feel this thing is taking over my life and I can't stop or do anything about it which I hate more than anything. I know the meds will take time to work and I've got a bit of a break from my Therapist now over Xmas and New Year which I'm not looking forward to at all.

It is such a bizzare illness though because this is the total opposite of the person I was a few months ago and I think that's what's scary. I feel so stressed out and every day is like climbing a mountain. I'm normally a very confident person, bubbly and like my home comforts but I simply can't settle anywhere and have no concentration cause constantly feel distressed. Wow I sound so dramatic, I'm sorry everyone for dragging you down with me.

I just want to say though Londoner that your a lovely person who certainly deserves a peaceful and free from OCD life! Thank you for sharing your story and you are living proof that we can break free from this illness.

Thanks again

ACB

Fri Dec 16 2011 12:50:23 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi everyone, yes, it isn't easy is it? I'm like you ACB... I agree, Londoner, you do such a lot to help us, and you really do... You find links to things for us, and are inspiring me to look forward cheerfully to the CBT early in the new year (I hope!) So it is thanks from me too...
wannabe

Fri Dec 16 2011 21:58:21 #
ACB33
Member

Morning everyone,

Yet again I've been awake since 5am in and out of panic attacks! I really hope the medication will help me get a better sleep pattern when they start to kick in because I hate not being able to sleep. It's the only time you get rest from the OCD! My eyes are tired but my brain won't switch off.

Anyway I hope everyone has a nice weekend.

a very tired ACB

Sat Dec 17 2011 6:56:11 #
Twitchy
Member

How u feeling ACB?

Sat Dec 17 2011 14:48:43 #
ACB33
Member

Hi Twitchy. I'm feeling ok thank you for asking, just very tired. Alot better than I did yesterday though I felt quite ill yesterday. It's been a good day but getting a little restless now I don't know why. Just trying to stay calm. I think that's half the battle when you stay calm you think alot more rationally with or without OCD. I never realised how difficult that could be though.

How are you and everyone feeling?

ACB

Sat Dec 17 2011 16:35:01 #
Twitchy
Member

Selfishly feel sorry for myself,wish i could just sort my head out.

Sat Dec 17 2011 17:59:06 #
slogsweep
Member

You're not selfish Twitchy, I know the terror you're going through, anyone would feel the same. We're all so apologetic on here. I was lucky enough to get a telling off from Tess about my apologizing!

Please don't put yourself down. Accepting you need help is just the start, you've got to do this for yourself. We're in such a bad way.

I hope at least that you're finding some strength from these forums.

Best wishes,
Slog

Sat Dec 17 2011 18:39:10 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi everyone, Hi Twitchy, don't beat yourself up, this is the OCD, and it can drive us inside ourselves... It is very early days on the meds, it can be difficult to start with, but it has to get better, it just has to...
The meds need time to get into your system, and your system needs time to start coping with the meds... I sometimes think that mine aren't doing anything, but they must be, they can't be doing nothing, not with the amount of stuff I'm on... I've got this OCD CD that teaches feel calm to think calm, ACB, and it does help me a bit... It is made by a guy named Albert Smith. I got it through amazon...
wannabe

Sat Dec 17 2011 18:40:59 #
slogsweep
Member

Yes just to back Wannabe up, my meds took roughly 2 to 2 and a half months before they showed any effects. Now they make a huge difference to my quality of life. I read a comment from Londoner on here that his meds took 2 months to kick in also. He knows his stuff on OCD.

I've had an anxious day because of moving back home, but I haven't been besieged by intrusive thoughts as I once was (though not left alone either). It's the checking I mainly have to tackle now.

Stick with it. It's a long road but things definetly get better. .

Best wishes

Slog

Sat Dec 17 2011 18:46:24 #
Twitchy
Member

Thanks my lovelies, i feel so much better taliking to you all. I'm going to have a look for that OCD CD now.

Sat Dec 17 2011 19:14:17 #
ACB33
Member

Hi Slog, Twitchy & Wannabe.

Your right we do seem to be a apologetic bunch. I think we all deserve a bit of self pity sometimes considering what we have to deal with day in day out. I said to my therapist the other day if someone said to me we can take all this anxiety and OCD crap away but you would need more surgery...I wouldn't hesitate to take the surgery! That was a doddle compared to all this, I feel more ill and distressed by this than anything else I have experienced.

Londoner is a fab member to have on here. They are living proof that we can beat this and their willingness to help and guide us is a truly lovely and much appreciated effort.

Thanks for the CD recommendation Wannabe, il be sure to look at that at some point. I find it very difficult to relax but I've had quite a good day today, any day without continuous shaking and panicking is a good day!

We will beat this together with all the help and support we get from each other! Great Job Guys!

ACB

Sat Dec 17 2011 19:58:27 #

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