OCD Action

Bambi
Member

Hi this is the 1st time i ever wrote on a forum im reading alot about ocd i have an eating disorder but its secondary to this ocd only mine is strange. I have real trouble recalling events and memories?does anyone else doubt there memory? a few years ago i was almost in an awful situation which nothing happened in the end but I am doubting the outcome and thinking I AM guilty of something although i cant remember! I keep seeking re-assurance of people that were about at the time and they tell me its black and white to them, that they remember BUT im having trouble...I think because i was so stressed out.
I see this pattern where Im ok they I get consumed by a thought anxiety is so high i cannot enjoy anything - its awful - life gets consumed with fear and guilt. Im wondering if anyone else has fear about there past and worrys cause they cannot remember things clear....sounds mad but we are all different, I think ocd is very specific but its so painful

Wed Jul 28 2010 6:18:47 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Bambi,

Welcome to the forum

A lot of people when they join the forum think that no one else could possibly have the same sort of problems with their OCD that they have. But given time they soon discover that there other people with problems similar to their own.

A lot of people seem to experience false memories with OCD. There are times when I know full well that I’ve done something and yet when I try to recall doing it all I can see is the exact reverse. For instance I can know full well that I’ve turned off the tap but when I try to recall doing it all I can see is me turning the tap on. Our OCD always makes us fear the worst and so can play tricks on our memories.

Have you been to your GP and asked for treatment for the OCD? The treatment of choice for OCD is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). It could also help with your eating disorder.

We’re a friendly forum and do our best to help and support each other. Sometimes it helps to talk to others with OCD. It can help to make things clearer and to see a way forward.

Best wishes
Trudy

Wed Jul 28 2010 12:52:18 #
Unregistered

Hello Bambi, Welcome to the forum.

I think what you are experiencing is very common amongst people with OCD. I am like you and many of my friends also fret over their memories. I started a thread about false memories, these are also very common. We can doubt whether an event took place and with the continual anxiety we can fill in gaps and create false memories. Lee Baer describes how someone without OCD knows they haven’t done or said something inappropriate because they have no recollection of it. Someone with OCD can fret they have done or said something, because they have no recollection of NOT doing it.

Best wishes, Tricia.

Wed Jul 28 2010 12:54:01 #
Unregistered

Sorry, Trudy, I wrote my message while you were sending yours!

Wed Jul 28 2010 12:55:00 #
Merlin21
Member

Hi Bambi,

Unfortunately this is quite a common thing for me in my job. I work for a lighting and audio company looking after different projects, part of my job involves prepping kit to be sent out, unfortunately this involves putting plugs on things. Once I have wired up an item, and put the plug shell back on, sometimes I have to repeat this process 3 or 4 times, as I doubt myself so many times that I have wired it up the wrong way. Once I go back and open it up I know it is right, but once I have assembled it back together again the fear kicks in that I didn't check it properly so have to go back and repeat.

I am hoping to start CBT within the next week, so hopefully this will help massively.

All the best
Alex

Wed Jul 28 2010 14:06:31 #
Nightbird
Member

Hi Bambi - OCD is often a disease of doubt of one kind or another....am I sure it wasn't, am I sure I didn't, am I sure I did..... I read a really interesting paper once by a Dr whose research centred on OCD where it was labelled a disease of doubt. His hypothesis was that people like us don't like to live with uncertainty, it makes us anxious so we try to guard against it. But, we try to get rid of every little chink of doubt and that's where we go off kilter. I try to remind myself of one of the mantra's he had for a form of OCD I have at the moment - health checking. That in the question lies the answer. If we knew it for real we would have no doubt... i.e. when the crisis really comes we know it and we respond to it, we don't have to ruminate over it for hours and hours. I've found it helpful to think of that sometimes. Its not a miracle cure but it can be helpful for some compulsions I think. It is a horrible, distressing and disruptive thing, but these forums really are reassuring and show we are not alone.

Wed Jul 28 2010 19:20:34 #