OCD Action

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My OCD is driving me mad (as usual) but it doesn't help that the entie Simming Community is at my throat. I think I'm gonna go delete my blog... She's told her about it and now she's using it against me.....

Grrrrrrrr.... Why am I even a member of it anyway? I rarely play Sims 'cos my games are always broke. And the computers are playb=ing up (one's Vista so it's to be expected) And to top it all off, now I'm in a bad mood from the bullying and the flaming so now I can't settle to write! Even if it is my comedy about various different things I felt like making fun of. And now I know that the OCD is gonna play up later 'cos I''m feeling so rotten. I'm gonna leave the Simmers I think, but then whaat do I do with my forum?

UGH!!! Sometimes I just wanna crawl into a hole and die. Everyone constantly miss-understands what I say. Yanno, all these people can say what they like about me 'cos I'm past caring. I went and did some investigating under a false name (nearly got caught out but I think I managed it if I deny what I've done) and they all wish me dead so rather than play Fairy GodMother and give them their hearts desiere.... Well, I'm just gonna rise above it all and remain the lady. I can delete my blog (again) and start (another) new one if I wan to. And as for that girl, she can tell my secret to whoever she likes, I'm pretty sure she alreay has anyways......

Right, now I really wanna die. Not just 'cos of the flamers and trollers and haters online but because I know that I'll go through my whole life being treated like this, being bullied and called horrid names (that sharn't be repeated) just because I've got a disability and yanno what IT'S NO EFFIN' FAIR. If these people had half the problr=ems I had them.... UGH!! How I'd love to show 'em what suffering is.......

End of rambling rant.

I can't believe I've just said all that. Oh well, at least it's off my chest now.

Tue Aug 3 2010 22:00:51 #
Unregistered

Jess, I don’t know what to say, except I truly empathize. Life is totally unfair for some. People will always remain ignorant of others' problems, at least that’s how I feel at the moment. I sincerely hope I am wrong. However,, occasionally, you will meet a truly decent person. You have to cling to people like that if you can, or allow them to remain forever in your memory, if not. Having a disability is tough, having one which is so misunderstood and judged is doubly tough.

Tricia x

Wed Aug 4 2010 12:46:59 #
Unregistered

P.S. I believe you said you are an aspiring writer. I have heard many authors discussing how their very troubled lives have inspired them to write well. One person claimed it’s impossible to be an excellent writer without experiencing great difficulty in life. I’m not sure if that is entirely true, but if we look back at the lives of great artists from the past, we realize that many of the best writers, composers etc had a far from easy time of it.

There is also hope that scientists will find a cure for conditons like ours. I hope to see this happening in my lifetime!

Wed Aug 4 2010 12:57:09 #
Unregistered

I think you're right about that, how can you empathize and relate to your characters and the things they are going through if you have never experianced hardship yourself? I don't really think you can to be truly honest. A couple of writers come to mind but I won't name names.

Wed Aug 4 2010 20:31:00 #
Tess
Member

Hi Jess
Just wanted to say I think you're brilliant, you make me laugh and that is a rare talent. Not only that, you're not alone with this wretched condition, there are hundreds, thousands, in fact millions of us across the globe, well over a million in this country alone - and having OCD causes us intolerable problems at times but it also gives us strength and empathy. Your writing, just on this forum, shows immense talent which will carry you through life if you allow it to - and the treatments available now are so much more effective than when I was first diagnosed over 40 years ago.
Hang on in there and nurture your talent, those who ridicule and bully are just covering up their own internal conflicts, rise above them and just be who you are. You are absolutely right, you cannot write from the heart without first experiencing the pain.

Thu Aug 5 2010 9:45:22 #
Unregistered

Hi Tess,
Aww, thanks. Yeah, these sorts of people have obviously never had it hard, everything they've needed or wanted has been there like that and they're basicly just a load of spoilt brats. Thing is, one of the wortstr ones is in her twenties, which I think is old enough to know better.
I am a very out-spoken sort of person and I say what I think. Someimes I say things I don't intentionly mean to, (for example when somebody was repeatedly miss-understanding what I said I said that Americans are stupid. (which SOME are. Not all of them, some of them are very clever, but all the ones I talk to onlne are a bit thick) In my personal opinion, if they say things insulting about us and laugh at us, then we should be able to do the same about them) basicly, i think people just don't like how I say it how it is and how I speak my mind.

What I'm trying to say is, it's bad enough having OCD in your head all the time, constantly bullying you and never leaving you alone, without having actual people bully you. And to make matters worse, the more you get bullied by people, the more upset and down you feel which the OCD takes great delight in and then it proceeds to play up something wicked.
And yeah, okay, SOMETIMES we can shake the thoughts off, sometimes we can ignore them but they STILL upset us and it still takes a awful amount of effort to do so.

Anyways, thanks again, Tess. Hey, our names rhyme, that's cool. - Jess

Thu Aug 5 2010 21:30:48 #
Unregistered

I had a nightmare about them last night. I think that's why my OCD's been playing up today. I want to write, but at the same time I just wanna go to bed and cry. my head really hurts too... Is anyone online? *sighs*

Sat Aug 7 2010 20:40:21 #
Truddles
Member

Just seen your post. I'm now on line if you want to talk. You can send me a PM.

Sat Aug 7 2010 20:49:33 #
Unregistered

Thanks Trudy... The OCD is just being a pain and it's upsetting me.

Sat Aug 7 2010 21:58:29 #