OCD Action

OCDLONELY
Member

I can't deal with this any more. Nothing goes right for me ever! I try and try and struggle and face things that cause me so much stress and anxiety I feel I may just drop dead and the spot and nothing improves. All that seems to happen is more is thrown at more or more goes wrong or more is taken away. I have to do all the hard work and make all the effort and yet there is no reward. They talk about a reasonable quality of life, I have none and I have no life. I have nothing to look forward to, no hope and not even basic pleasures that most people take for granted like friends and hobbies and nice food and a comfortable home. I just don't want to be here any more, I have been fighting and fighting for so long and can't do it much more. I want to stop. I am not a person, I'm nothing and my life means nothing and if I were not here nothing would change and hardly a soul would notice.

Tue Aug 16 2011 14:32:50 #
Truddles
Member

I can empathise with you as many times I've felt exactly the same way. BUT things can and do change.

You've had a major upset and feel that there's no one to turn to, but you have us to talk to. Did you ring the CAB or look on their websites? On reflection I realise that they are the best people to help you.

It sounds very much to me as if you need support at the moment and that the stress is making you depressed. Are you seeing anyone from the CMHT? If not contact your GP surgery (I know that your's is away but there will be someone covering)and tell them that you're in crisis and don't want to carry on and need some support and they should be able to refer you to the CMHT especially as you are unable to get out to go to A&E to see the on call psychiatrist.

I can't remember are you on medication or getting CBT? If not perhaps these are both things to consider.

Try to do something that you enjoy doing to try to bring your stress levels down, when you're stressed it's difficult to think clearly.

Best wishes
Trudy

Tue Aug 16 2011 14:42:08 #
Unregistered

Hi

I don't have any specific advice as such as I haven't really been in contact with you before so I don't really know your situation but I just wanted to remind you that life changes all the time so the situation you are in now really won't be like that forever.

Also, like Truddles said, contact your GP's surgery for some help, that's what they are there for.

Take care.

Tue Aug 16 2011 15:02:12 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi OCDLONELY -

I can only support Truddles' and Stroudie's advice. At this point in time it may sound gratuitous, but it certainly is not: change for the better is possible. You sound indeed like you're going through a spell of clinical depression, caused by stress. The first step out of that is also the hardest: get up and seek help. OCD and accompanying depression want to keep you in that place and in that bad mood in which you are right now, they feed off of themselves. Beat them. Treat them as unwelcome visitors. Although you may not feel like it: you're still in charge.

What I find encouraging amidst all the sadness you express: you are able to feel, and to express that what you feel in words. That is important to make changes. You still have a drive in you, you express what you would like so much to have: friends, hobbies, good food, and a comfortable home. These wishes can be of great help to you, and a good clinician can turn them into motivating energies. The only things you need to do is open up and co-operate.

Hang on in there, OCDLONELY, and we'll hear from each other again.

Bye, Cuthbert.

Tue Aug 16 2011 15:15:34 #
blueboy
Member

i can surely empathise with you, i am in similar posistion... as some here know...i have to live in a tiny vermin infested home right now..and i am trying hard to find a new place..even doing that is difficult... although stonham are assisting me... social contact is very difficult for me... i just came off the phone arranging to view more houses.... someone from stonham will take me.... but i do get so nervous... as i spend practicaly all my time alone ..rarely go out..and so with ocd playing on my mind... i get so out of touch with other people..and it does feel like there is no reward... when they tell you it will get better etc...i understand all this perfectly...if you ever need to chat just say...if i can offer any advise or just a listening ear ..from someone similar... PAUL.

Tue Aug 16 2011 16:05:18 #
OCDLONELY
Member

Thank you everyone for your messages it does help to know people care and understand. Paul I'm so sorry you're in such a bad situation also and I'd like very much to talk and the same goes for you too.

Tue Aug 16 2011 17:07:58 #