OCD Action

Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

I did, and still do. Many years I had a deep inner conviction: that the life I led was not my real life, not the life I could blossom in, realise myself as a human being. I felt trapped.

That is why I, initially being a checker, also became a hoarder. I got very afraid that something of value might get lost. And I began to store away new purchases (like nice shoes, a watch, even books, and stereo equipment) in cupboards. Kept them new, in boxes. Most striking example: a pair of patent leather shoes, which are now 22 years old and unused. And: an amplifier and tuner, as well as speaker units (14 years old, but unused; I am afraid the warranty will have expired by now...).

All with the idea in mind: the day will come, when I can live without the all the fussy mess, in a nicely furnished habitat, and only then I will become the New Cuthbert, freed from the burdens of OCD.

I've come some way in seeing this as unnecessary, self-inflicted pain, and that there is no use in letting new objects outlive Cuthbert himself.

Do you recognize any of this?

Ciao, Cuthbert.

Wed Apr 7 2010 17:21:15 #
poppyfields
Member

Yes Cuthbert, i've got skirts and dresses in my wardrobe never worn, along with shoes which i may never wear due to my bunions - ouch! Once it's been washed and put inside the 'clean' wardrobe, i don't want to wear it then and get it 'dirty'. What a waste of money. I generally wear my old clothes and my lovely stuff just sits there hidden away in my wardrobe!!!!! :@(

Wed Apr 7 2010 17:26:17 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

@poppyfields -

is a (mis)sense of immortality something that binds us then? I can well say, with my reason, that my behaviour is very much in conflict with the realities of life. But OCD is by its nature irrational. That is why, in my opinion, therapies that are only grounded in pure reason often fail.

A patient with OCD knows very well that 2 + 2 = 4. But he/she often feels that 2 + 2 equals 5.

That is my short take on things. Sort of a tiny metaphor for our condition.

Cheers, Cuthbert.

Wed Apr 7 2010 17:47:29 #
Truddles
Member

I certainly do recognise it. I've got lots of things stored away because I'm frightened to use them for fear of contaminating them. I've got so much stuff in boxes but don't wont to throw away because I say to myself I will use them when I get my life back But at the moment it's like tomorrow - it never comes. My life has in effect been on hold for over twenty years with me dreaming of a day when I can do all the things that I used to be able to do.
I dream of a life were I can do anything and I live in a home where there is enough storage space so that my possessions aren't piled in boxes

How did we OCDers manage before plastic bags and boxes. I'd be lost without them

BTW 2 + 2 does equal 5 doesn't it? Well TB (Troubled Bubbles)says it does

Wed Apr 7 2010 18:26:13 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi Truddles -

thank you for your bittersweet reply. Yup, plastic bags... in this respect, I think that I myself cover about 80% of all carbon footprints in the Netherlands. I collect the d*mned things, so to speak. Like in: an Albert Heijn Xmas 1999 bag (Dutch ASDA) is as collectible as the special edition 2004 Super De Boer (ditto) Easter one... I have all of these. Shame that they don't fetch anything on Ebay.

The Hapless Hoarder says: 2 + 2 = 5. Definitely...

But then, the HH is immortal too. He'll wear those shoes whilst listening to his new Hi-Fi in around 2089. We'll all still be writing here then. If the internet's still around.

Ciao, Cuthbert.

Wed Apr 7 2010 18:41:20 #