OCD Action

swan
Member

Hi,
Does anyone else feel like this feeling that its dont you doing something bit removed from situation? Ive had this for 30 years the first time it lasted for a year and then couple of times over a ten year period when it lasted for a year. since then ive usually only had it for a day or so every so often. When I was in hopsital they tried to being it on but it didnt happen until the day I left hospital 4 1/2 months ago and since then it has been a struggle. Since Christmas it has been better but then last night it started again, it usually starts with fear of it happening. I hate this feeling so much it gets me down. Im hoping CBT on Monday will teach me new skills to deal with it.
Thanks for reading this

Sat Jan 21 2012 19:09:43 #
playthoseblues
Member

Hi Swan

Sometimes I feel a bit detached from situations, and feel like I'm not really there, so I think it's OCD and anxiety

I hope your CBT works out well

Jon

Sat Jan 21 2012 20:23:57 #
Truddles
Member

Hi swan,

I've sent you a PM. Good luck with the CBT tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.

Sun Jan 22 2012 10:05:11 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hiya Swan -

I know the feeling. From my perspective: it will wear off, especially now that you're going to confront your OCD with CBT. Depersonalisation entails, amongst other things, 'meta-thinking', like: thinking about thinking. As if there's some camera in your own head, that scrutinises your own thought and behaviour frequently. One feels like one's become an actor/actress in some movie, and like one's observing oneself from the outside... which causes considerable feelings of 'unrealness'.

My hope is that your CBT will lead to an experience of events, of life itself, in a much more spontaneous way. Confrontation can lead to a direct outpouring of feelings, instead of watching and weighing them precisely. Simply stated: to a move away from stagnation, and to real progress in terms of: moving on.

In my case: I used to always look back, at my behaviour, at what I said, at my thoughts in the immediate past. Did I do things right? Did I offend? And so on, endlessly... and that prevented 'being with it', in the present, and led to depersonalisation.

I really, really hope that in your case, the 'wearing off' of these sensations will be sped up by your CBT. Please do keep us informed!

Best, Cuthbert.

Sun Jan 22 2012 13:44:39 #
swan
Member

Hi,
Thankyou your comments have really helped
Take care all of you
xx

Sun Jan 22 2012 18:10:38 #
slogsweep
Member

Me too, I can't explain it though. I almost feel detached from myself, as if I'm looking through highly judgmental eyes at myself. It's so hard to explain but I guess I'm saying you're not alone with this depersonalisation thing,

Best wishes

Slog

Mon Jan 23 2012 22:35:36 #
Aimboy
Member

Hi Swan

Im not really familiar with depersonalisation but im glad its been brought up, im always seeing myself through others eyes, though i feel normal but i dont know if thats because im so used to it now :/.

Joe

Tue Jan 24 2012 0:11:24 #
chloe
Member

Hi Swan,

For as far back as I can remember I have had an awful feeling of being 'not quite real'. It's as though I am in a dream and am watching myself. What Cuthbert says makes total sense to me.
I am constantly judging myself and my actions through other peoples eyes and worry constantly that I have said or done something wrong.
I can look in the mirror and feel I have no idea who I am.
Idon't know how else I can explain it. It's very scary.

I don't know if this is depersonalisation as I am not familiar with it either.
I also find it very difficult to live in the present as I'm always worrying about the past and future.

Take care,
Chloe X

Tue Jan 24 2012 10:42:37 #
wannabefree
Member

Me too... I worry about things in the past that cannot be changed anyway, worries about am I good enough, was I good enough? what if I'm not? Wierd things like that... Things worry me a little about the future, but I'm trying to live closer to the minute I'm actually in... Trying not to wash hands too much, but that is difficult when I have a catheter in! But washing of hands with that is to protect that and not me or others... It is really difficult though...
Wannabe

Tue Jan 24 2012 11:45:43 #
aishah
Member

Hi,

I can relate to feeling like this, especially at the moment as I am quite depressed. I have also experienced it at times of extreme anxiety.

I get a heightened sense of awareness around me, and I notice every single thing around me more than at other times, I feel very detatched from everything and everyone around me. I find it quite scary.

Bridget

Wed Jan 25 2012 19:29:28 #
Mike
Member

I had depersonalization that was due to anxiety, and cognitive therapy literally cured me of it in about 4 sessions. We did automatic thought records, recording my thoughts that I was having during and after the anxiety onset, and then evaluated them based on how rational they were. I was at first quite uncomfortable because my thoughts were so ridiculous I was embarrassed to mention them. When my therapist challenged me on the thoughts it made me feel uncomfortable and anxious, but in a good way, almost like I was being exposed to how faulty and excessive my thoughts and emotions were. We also did a bit of behavioral therapy in which no matter how bad the depersonalization got, I had to try my best to not stop what I was doing just to avoid the situation. The combination of these two approaches essentially eliminated all of my depersonalization.

Mike

Wed Jan 25 2012 21:52:24 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi Mike -

that's an uplifting story. I guess you had a very good therapist there. And battling depersonalisation with continuing what you are doing at a given moment - that's a fine way of overcoming it.

I must add that I think you were/are a highly receptive patient, in that you sensed pretty quickly what the therapist was aiming at. Not all people with OCD are able to react that way in such a relatively short time.

Nice and informative call,

Cuthbert.

Thu Jan 26 2012 9:30:30 #
swan
Member

Mike I feel really encouraged by your comment and have hope that the CBT will help me too,

Thu Jan 26 2012 16:39:22 #
swan
Member

Bridget,
I understand how scarey this is when I get it I want to get away from it and of course I cant its my worse anxiety reaction. Take care

Thu Jan 26 2012 16:40:59 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Swan, it sure is scary isn't it?
Wannabe

Thu Jan 26 2012 16:57:10 #