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brennie on holiday

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  • Started 4 years ago by brennie
  • Latest reply from stevieb
  • This topic is Not a support question

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  1. Avatar Image

    brennie
    Member

    hello everyone, just thought i would let you all know im on holiday at the moment and thought that perhaps i could leave the OCD at home, but no chance the bugger has come out to menorca with me and today i am feeling lost and lonely so i thought i would come on here to speak with my friends for a little encouragement .
    Missing you all

    love from brennie x :)
    Sat May 17 2008 23:30:47 #
  2. Avatar Image

    anxiousgal
    Member

    Hi Brennie!

    Sorry I wasn't online yesterday! I know what you mean about OCD coming with you on holiday as when I last went on holiday to Newquay my OCD flared up when I got there! I was alright on the journey even getting a train a flight and another train but when I got there I panicked, I noticed a probably small amount of dust/sand in the wardrobe and had to ask the owner of the guest house to clean it for me! I also got anxious later when I was trying to eat my tea surrounded by seagulls and the meal wasn't nice so had ot leave it.I wanted to go home! But I rang Ian and felt better. mad ean effort to enjoy my holiday after that. I found nice places to eat and visit and met some nice people to go out with for a day. Sometimes when we get to a new place it is hard to adjust becuase of the OCD. Are you holidaying on your own or with friends/family? I hope you feel better now and start to enjoy your holiday! I think you are brave to get on a plane and go over there!

    Luv Natasha :D
    Sun May 18 2008 11:41:59 #
  3. Avatar Image

    stevieb
    Member

    [quote="brennie":3u4es6k6]hello everyone, just thought i would let you all know im on holiday at the moment and thought that perhaps i could leave the OCD at home, but no chance the bugger has come out to menorca with me and today i am feeling lost and lonely so i thought i would come on here to speak with my friends for a little encouragement .
    Missing you all

    love from brennie x :)

    Hello Brennie

    I know about OCD flaring up when we go away. It happened to me while I was in America. Unfortunately, OCD is a part of us, and will therefore go with us wherever we go. Just like our limbs will. I assume the friends who you've gone with all know you have ocd? I'm sure they'll help put your mind at ease. When I was away, I only had myself to put my mind at ease.

    Just try not to let it spoil your holiday, because you deserve it.

    And yes, I'm back online for now, only still having one or two problems. Will speak to you again soon, Bren. Keep smiling. :D

    Best wishes,
    Steve x
    Sun May 18 2008 16:15:01 #
  4. Avatar Image

    brennie
    Member

    Hi again, i should not have come away knowing how bad i am feeling , i just hoped that perhaps a change would help me for awhile, but its not everything is wrong here and i am feeling awful.
    Today i have had to stay in bed where i feel better, if i can do this till the 26th i should get through it, what a waste of money though ! i should have known myself that i was´nt well enough for this , WHY do i do things so irrationally and WHY am i so impulsive .
    Still after all these years of suffering OCD i still test my abilities with it .... i obviously am not as strong as i think i am :'( WHY am i so stupid as to think i could get away with having a holiday and enjoying myself , oh ! how i wanna go home.

    love brennie x

    p.s. thanks alot for your replies :)
    Sun May 18 2008 17:00:42 #
  5. Avatar Image

    stevieb
    Member

    [quote="brennie":1mpdw0sn]Hi again, i should not have come away knowing how bad i am feeling , i just hoped that perhaps a change would help me for awhile, but its not everything is wrong here and i am feeling awful.
    Today i have had to stay in bed where i feel better, if i can do this till the 26th i should get through it, what a waste of money though ! i should have known myself that i was´nt well enough for this , WHY do i do things so irrationally and WHY am i so impulsive .
    Still after all these years of suffering OCD i still test my abilities with it .... i obviously am not as strong as i think i am :'( WHY am i so stupid as to think i could get away with having a holiday and enjoying myself , oh ! how i wanna go home.

    love brennie x

    p.s. thanks alot for your replies :)

    Hey Brennie, don't be so hard on yourself. You're not stupid, you're an OCD sufferer. You no doubt felt up to going away, although a bit scared, and felt brave enough to give it a go, and I think you have been brave in doing that. Being compulsive to do something nice and positive like go on a holiday, is not stupid. You were adventurous enough to take a chance, but it simply didn't work out like you planned.

    Don't waste your holiday in bed, that's exactly what OCD wants you to do. Don't give it the smug satisfaction. Just get up and go out, screw OCD.

    I know my advice is far, far easier said than done, but if you waste this holiday, you'll only come home feeling even more miserable.

    We've chatted many times now, but I still don't know what your OCD consists of. It isn't a comtamination one, is it? Its good that you chose to talk to us, and you'll get plenty of sound advice, but it would be such a shame to waste your holiday, Bren, but I do feel for you, as I know how OCD can do that to us.

    Just try and go out, with your friends, even start by just going to the bar or a restaurant with them. Talking with them will help, too.

    Hope you feel much better later. Chin up. 8)

    All the best,
    Steve. x
    Sun May 18 2008 17:37:32 #
  6. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Dear Bren, How are you feeling today? As Steve said (so good to see you back here, Steve!) the reason you booked the holiday is because you are very brave and strong. You said that after all these years of OCD you are still testing your abilities with it. You see this as impulsiveness and a weakness, when in actual fact it is a great strength and determination, to try and try and try again no matter how badly and how many times it has knocked you down previously. This is the kind of attitude that could lead to great improvement at the Bethlem.

    I still think you were right to give it a go. I sincerely hope that your husband is doing his best to be patient and sympathetic, because that could make all the difference to whether or not you both get some pleasure from your time away. There is still time to hopefully.

    I am thinking of you, Bren. Do please let us know how you are doing today.

    Love, Tricia x.
    Mon May 19 2008 9:05:50 #
  7. Avatar Image

    anxiousgal
    Member

    Hi Brennie!

    Out of interest is there anything about the place you are in that has triggered your OCD? Are you a bit depressed as well? Sometimes traveling can tire you out! What is your current OCD fear? Is it going to the beach or strangers? As you have figured mine was mostly contamination fears! It would be good to know what your scared of so we can help you! I hope you are ok.

    Luv Natasha
    Mon May 19 2008 9:38:41 #
  8. Avatar Image

    brennie
    Member

    natasha, i have been really depressed since arriving here, i thought perhaps i could brighten myself up abit with a holiday atmospere but it has done just the opposite, i see everyone happy and enjoying themselves and i feel like a kill joy becausei just cant feel like them .... please believe me i have tried.
    nothing has triggered me natasha ... the way i am feeling is just ME , and i am so tired of my rituals 7 compulsions because they are so bad at the moment because my anxiety is bad
    love brennie x :)
    Mon May 19 2008 11:49:32 #
  9. Avatar Image

    anxiousgal
    Member

    [quote="brennie":3ftyyjw8]natasha, i have been really depressed since arriving here, i thought perhaps i could brighten myself up abit with a holiday atmospere but it has done just the opposite, i see everyone happy and enjoying themselves and i feel like a kill joy becausei just cant feel like them .... please believe me i have tried.
    nothing has triggered me natasha ... the way i am feeling is just ME , and i am so tired of my rituals 7 compulsions because they are so bad at the moment because my anxiety is bad
    love brennie x :)

    Hi Brennie!

    I think I know what you mean, if you are depressed and everybody else is happy you feel left out and wonder why you can't be happy too and that makes you even more depressed doesn't it?! I am feeling bad myself today, every little thing is getting to me but had to reply.I kinda wish I could come over I think the beach would do me good today! ;-) You mention 7 rituals, do you mean to do with the number 7 like you have to do things 7 times? I had a phobia of the number 7 when I was a kid I thought it was unlucky. When my OCD and depression is playing up I find getting out of the house helps which I am going to do today.I fidn if I take a little walk my head clears a bit. Do you think you could maybe go for a little walk later? You might feel a bit better after a walk. Don't worry abotu others being happy and your not just take a little walk and see if it helps. ;-)

    Luv natasha
    Mon May 19 2008 12:15:49 #
  10. Avatar Image

    brennie
    Member

    natasha, no the number 7 was a typing error :) my number is 6 plus 2, most things i do is in sequels of 6 then plus 2.
    i have been out today and i am feeling a little better.
    thanks buddies :)
    love brennie x
    Mon May 19 2008 15:43:37 #
  11. Avatar Image

    anxiousgal
    Member

    Hi brennie!

    Oh I see, thanks for clearing that up! :) I'm glad you wen tout and feel better-that's the spirit! ;-)

    Luv natasha
    Mon May 19 2008 15:46:31 #
  12. Avatar Image

    DEAD!
    Blocked

    Hiya Brennie,

    Glad you're doing a bit better now :D
    Music always helps me, well MCR anyway – but maybe you could try that as well

    Take Care

    Nicola
    Tue May 20 2008 9:39:50 #
  13. Avatar Image

    brennie
    Member

    NIC, thanks alot for your reply sweetheart, i have been listening to music, like you i do find it helps with relaxation.
    I hope you are o.k. NIC ? so glad you decided to stay around .

    love brennie x :)
    Tue May 20 2008 9:53:27 #
  14. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Dear Bren, How are you this morning? I'm pleased that you are able to listen to some music, it really can lift us, can't it?
    I have been thinking about you a great deal.

    Love, Tricia x
    Tue May 20 2008 10:14:22 #
  15. Avatar Image

    brennie
    Member

    Tricia, i just sent you a PM , we must have been thinking about each other at the same time . :D i´m o.k. but nna go home only 6 more nights.
    love brennie x
    Tue May 20 2008 10:20:23 #
  16. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Bren, we do seem to have some kind of telepathic connection, don't we?! I'll go and read your message.

    Love, Tricia x
    Tue May 20 2008 10:53:01 #
  17. Avatar Image

    HIEVERONE
    Member

    Hi brennie how are you,
    I know how hard it is when you have depression nothing seems to make us happy, when i was depressed i thought that the sunshine made me more happy and feel beeter is there nothing that makes you feel that way.
    I also listen to music more now and have started to listen to classical music which is totaly not my kind of thing normally i listen to hardcore music, the classical music really seems to calm me down and think more clearly ive been listing to katherine jenkins and now carnt get enough, when i had my driving ocd i used to put the katherine jenkins on and it really helped my nerves.
    Well brennie please enjoy your holiday and keep up the good spirits.
    Tue May 20 2008 21:36:15 #
  18. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    How are you this morning, Bren?

    Hieverone, I can well imagine that Katherine Jenkins helps your nerves (wouldn't she anyone's?!). I don't think it's just her amazing talent but her beautiful spirit, too. A rare and lovely lady! Classical music has made so much difference to me, I must admit. I have so many phobias, including claustrophobia, and no medication helps the fear, but music does. I went to a concert in London and sat shaking with fear, wondering why I had put myself in such a position. The music began and I felt as though I was drifting towards Heaven!

    Bren, please let us know how you are today.

    Love, Tricia.
    Wed May 21 2008 11:50:17 #
  19. Avatar Image

    bordergirl
    Member

    Hi Brennie

    Im so sorry your not feeling well, you may pick up as the sun soaks in to you and your vitamin b12 levels rise. Don't be sad you did really well to go away and it is important to try and push ourselves. Before you come home you will have a moment of peace i'm sure. Try to read a little and don't feel guilty!!! You are an amazing lady and we are all thinking about you and sending you good thoughts. You will feel better!!!

    Sorry I haven't answered before today but I have not been online.

    Thinking of you

    Love and hugs

    Bordergirl.
    Look forward to chatting when you get backxx
    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
    By the way its pouring down and blowing a gale in Wales if thats any comfort.
    Thu May 22 2008 21:56:33 #
  20. Avatar Image

    bordergirl
    Member

    Hi Tricia

    I hope you are well and not missing Brennie too much, I am here if you need me.x

    bordergirl
    Thu May 22 2008 22:07:39 #
  21. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Thank you, Bordergirl, how are you doing at the moment? Yes, I am missing Bren, and worried about her. I know you haven't been on-line recently, I do hope it wasn't because your OCD had been giving you a bad time. It's good to have you back! I know how busy you are and I don't like to bother you and cause you more stress, but I really appreciated your kind offer.

    Bren, how are things today?

    Love, Tricia x
    Fri May 23 2008 10:03:05 #
  22. Avatar Image

    brennie
    Member

    Hiya, thank you all for helping me through this holiday, it will be a long long time before i do this again, but PLEASE dont let it put anyone off holidaying ..... this is just ME ! I have made a mistake so i have to pay for it.
    I have only 2 days left so i can get through it , i was´nt well enough to come out here in the first place , i never told my doctor i was coming out here to menorca because i new he would not agree with it , so now i pay the price of being clever :(
    Hope your ALL o.k.
    Speak to you ALL soon,

    love brennie x :)
    Sat May 24 2008 15:08:19 #
  23. Avatar Image

    stevieb
    Member

    Hello Brennie

    Sorry you didn't enjoy your holiday as much as you should have been able to, but at least you tried.
    What are your plans for when you get home? Hope you've bought us all a stick of rock. Lol

    Anyway, look forward to chatting to you again.

    Steve xx 8)
    Sun May 25 2008 14:38:46 #
  24. Avatar Image

    anxiousgal
    Member

    [quote="brennie":15d9dy10]Hiya, thank you all for helping me through this holiday, it will be a long long time before i do this again, but PLEASE dont let it put anyone off holidaying ..... this is just ME ! I have made a mistake so i have to pay for it.
    I have only 2 days left so i can get through it , i was´nt well enough to come out here in the first place , i never told my doctor i was coming out here to menorca because i new he would not agree with it , so now i pay the price of being clever :(
    Hope your ALL o.k.
    Speak to you ALL soon,

    love brennie x :)

    hi Brennie!

    I'm so sorry to hear that you haven't enjoyed your holiday! Don't worry it won't put me off taking a holiday but my bank balance sure is! :(

    Luv natasha
    Sun May 25 2008 21:11:50 #
  25. Avatar Image

    anxiousgal
    Member

    Well there is the contamination fears as well of course! Oh dear...

    Luv natasha
    Sun May 25 2008 21:13:06 #
  26. Avatar Image

    brennie
    Member

    Natasha, i am flying back to manchester today ... thank god , thanks for keeping in touch while i have been away from home, its been such a comfort.

    love brennie x :)
    Mon May 26 2008 14:40:04 #
  27. Avatar Image

    anxiousgal
    Member

    [quote="brennie":2z34r5aj]Natasha, i am flying back to manchester today ... thank god , thanks for keeping in touch while i have been away from home, its been such a comfort.

    love brennie x :)

    Hi Brennie!

    You are most welcome, anytime! I hope you have a safe and uneventful journey back home today! I bet you will be so glad to be back home! :D

    Luv Natasha
    Mon May 26 2008 16:37:33 #
  28. Avatar Image

    brennie
    Member

    Hi Natasha, yes i am glad to be home, but unfortunately THIS is wher the majority of my OCD is.
    As soon as my key went in the door i was panicky, ofcourse back to normal i have been up checking most of the night.

    But good news, i have received a letter from my doctors secretary saying that my funding is through for the Bethlam Royal Hospital , so apparently now i am just waiting for my date to be admitted.

    How are you Natasha, i hope you are well. :)

    Love and many thanks,
    brennie x
    Tue May 27 2008 11:08:30 #
  29. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Dear Bren, It's so good to know you are back and that is wonderful news about the funding. It shouldn't be long now!

    Don't look back on the holiday as a failure, Bren, it took such courage to do what you did.

    Love, Tricia x
    Tue May 27 2008 11:27:02 #
  30. Avatar Image

    brennie
    Member

    Hi Tricia, yes great news about the funding, did'nt take too long but i do have a fantastic G.P.
    Glad to be back in England, NEVER again will i put myself through that insecurity , it was all too much but its my own fault.
    I new i was ill but i thought i could be strong enough to enjoy myself for awhile, i'm just not worthy :( hey listen to me i sound full of self pity dont i ? i'm not i am just a bit depressed today. :(

    love brennie x
    Tue May 27 2008 11:49:28 #

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