OCD Action

OCDLONELY
Member

Hello everyone! I've been away from here a long time and a lot has happened in that time. I hope to catch up with old friends and make some new ones too. I hope you all are doing well and fighting the good fight against OCD. Hope to talk soon. Take care

Daniel

Thu Aug 11 2011 19:28:21 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Daniel,

Welcome back You say that a lot has happened - good I hope.

Trudy

Thu Aug 11 2011 19:35:32 #
tizzkins
Member

Hello Daniel dont think we have met so just to say hello and i hope to exchange posts with you some time. And as Truddles says i hope things have been good for you.

Liz

Thu Aug 11 2011 20:18:06 #
OCDLONELY
Member

Hello Trudy and hello Liz and thank you for your messages. Well I had been housebound for about 10 years and just stayed in my room living with my parents and pretty much just barely existed. Well about 2 years ago I just got up one day and decided to go for a walk. I continued to do this everyday and started to feel like I had some hope of a life again. Early last year for the first time ever I met a friend I had made on another OCD group and it felt so good to have someone who wanted to spend time with me. Shortly after this I met a girl on the same site and we started to talking a lot and then a friend on this site told me this girl had a crush on me. I couldn't believe it as I never thought anyone would find me attractive or desire me but she did. Then shortly after this I was offered my own place and moved out, it was so hard and I have been through so much to get here but having my girlfriend and thoughts of the future helped me be strong and face what I had to. We talked everyday for 6 whole months and then she decided to come visit me. The amazing part and the difficulty though is she lives in America. Well August 12th 2010 she flew here and we spent 3 wonderful weeks together and I was so happy and so in love. We got engaged and she told me she wanted to come live here with me. She went back home and I missed her terrible but then something changed. She all of a sudden seemed different and then told me she was worried we were rushing things and then come January this year she broke up with me. I won't go into details but she thought she liked someone else and couldn't cope with me not wanting to take things slow. She eventually realised she didn't want anyone else and we got back together but we have yet to see each other again and its so hard. I'm hoping she can come again at Christmas but for a longer time so we can get to know each other much better and she might then know what she really wants and hopefully it will be me. I'm too ill to travel to her as I have been having joint pains and walking problems for a while now and the last few months its been awful. I am so weak all the time and can't do much at all and am waiting for a hospital examination and doctors have no idea what is wrong. Well there you have it. That has been me the past 2 years. I just hope that this time next year she will be with me always. I miss her and love her so much!

Fri Aug 12 2011 8:14:55 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hiya OCDLONELY -

good to hear from you!

First: thank you for your candid, courageous post. You seem to be well able to overcome posting such personal things in the open, and all the trust this bespeaks is a sign of progress you made, methinks (specifically, I am thinking about your own turn of phrase: '...pretty much just barely existed.').

And then: you moved out, got a place of your own, and fell in love. Well, blimey... that's what I call 'getting ahead in life'! Now, the thing of course is that she made a temporary U-turn (I hope) and perhaps will join you again on a more solid foundation. What am I to say? I feel sorry, and yet I am glad that you got into a phase where these real-life events actually happen. You were brave enough to face that independent style of living, and got onto that sometimes slippery path of love. Which, taken on its own merits, is a great achievement.

I sincerely hope that your dreams will come true, man. And that your physical unease will prove something that can be treated effectively.

Going by your e-letter here, am I right that you overcame some essential features of your OCD in those 2 years that went by? If so, I have a perhaps just too intrusive question: were there certain difficult periods that symptoms returned? Or were you able, by the force of your own will, to keep them at bay? Don't feel any obligation to answer it, everything's OK. And there's also the PM option, as you know.

Congrats on all the positive developments, from:

Cuthbert in the Netherlands.

Fri Aug 12 2011 8:29:27 #
OCDLONELY
Member

Hey Cuthbert!

Good to hear from you. I have noticed a lot of old faces are no longer here so its good to hear from you and Trudy but of course its good meeting new faces too. Thank you so much for your kind words. I haven't gotten over my OCD not by a long shot plus my anorexia and BDD are back and causing a lot of problems. Living alone has its benefits like being able to keep the place as I want it and doing as I please but being alone is tough and sometimes the feeling of isolation is overwhelming. When my girlfriend visited I pretty much coped with everything. I did things I never could have before like sitting on the grass and using public toilets. Also I had to be able to deal with the fact she would touch things and go places and if I wanted to be with her I had to deal with it and I did!! It just made me feel like we were meant to be. Since the break and then things not going to plan and just not knowing what the future holds I have been grasping for something I can control when my world is spinning out of control and when that happens the first thing I go to is starving myself and then wanting to fix how I look and then go into self-loathing and that all just makes me think no wonder things go wrong and aren't working. Look at the state of me, Who would have me? It just continues. I know I must fight it but not sure how much fight I have left. I need her back and I need hope and a future. Sorry to go on and hope I made sense? Hope you're doing well Cuthbert and you both Trudy and Liz. Take care

Fri Aug 12 2011 11:02:26 #
brennie
Member

Hi Daniel, its good to see you back on the forum, i have read your post with great interest, there have been a lot of big changes in your life in the past 2 years, i hope all goes well for you Daniel,
I hope you remember me

love brennie

Fri Aug 12 2011 14:28:09 #
OCDLONELY
Member

Of course I remember you brennie! How have you been? Its good to hear from you

Fri Aug 12 2011 15:36:42 #
brennie
Member

Hi Daniel, i am not so good, been suffering with depression, but hey its good to hear from you

take care
brennie

Sat Aug 13 2011 18:56:48 #