OCD Action

OCDLONELY
Member

I don't know if anyone here is in the same position as me but instead of going through my list of compulsions and rituals I do my best to avoid the situation so that I don't have to do anything that could cause me distress. Things have got so bad that I wouldn't dare tell you some of the things I avoid as I would be scared by your response. The thing is all this avoidance is making me even worse and I'm scared it will very soon have an affect on my health. One thing I will tell you about is my fear of using the toilet. I go so far as just having one drink all day so I don't need the loo and my eating is even worse because of my fear. I have so many things that intefere with me daily that I just can't cope with anymore. I cry alot and my mood is so low. Sometimes the thought of death would be a release but don't worry I would never make an attempt on my life I want a life just one that is worth living. Anyone here in a similar situation with avoidance?

Wed Jun 11 2008 12:24:19 #
Unregistered

Dear Daniel, Avoidance is a big part of OCD for most of us. It's a natural reaction to avoid whatever we can that leads to more distress and rituals. I am so worried about you, though. I know of someone else who doesn't eat much and exists on small amounts of liquid. She is so fearful of using the toilet she has to share with her family that she uses her bedroom, sometimes her bed. A lady at the Bethlem was using a wardrobe as a toilet, because she couldn't face using the shared bathroom. Trust me, nothing you have to do or avoid would shock us, it's just alarming what you are suffering. What also really worries me is the lack of liquid you are consuming. Daniel, please call me or Bren so we can talk to you.

Love, Tricia x

Wed Jun 11 2008 13:00:39 #
DEAD!
Blocked

The nurse I used to see was worried about fluid intake, I was fine, but I know 1 drink isn't enough

I understand why, but I don't have that fear, well not at home anyway, so I don't really know what to say

Take Care

Nicola

Wed Jun 11 2008 18:35:28 #
Unregistered

Dear Daniel, I've been thinking more about avoidance. I was writing on a 'Monk' website once, when someone spoke about contamination fears and how everyone with them is just like Monk. I tried to explain that we can be very different from him, but no-one believed me. I don't know the statistics, whether there are more or less who live like Monk, but most of my friends with contamination fears are not only unable to have people in their homes to avoid contamination, but also because they are ashamed of the state of their houses.

There are two reasons for this. One is that we can be very selective about what we fear and need to clean, but mostly I think it's avoidance, where actually cleaning becomes too difficult, because it causes too much stress and takes too long to get it 'right'. It may be just parts of the house, but sometimes it's even themselves they can no longer keep clean. I know someone who used to shower for several hours a day, in the end it became too much and he would go weeks without washing at all. I read in a book that a patient kept certain parts of her house spotlessly clean, but the surrounding areas were thick dust and dirt. She had become too afraid to deal with those areas. Parts of my house are very dusty. Some people might view it as sheer laziness (not that anyone gets to view it!!) but it's a combination of exhaustion, dealing with everything else and the fear of 'spreading' the contamination.

My big concern is still the lack of liquid you are drinking, but also, if you are eating little you will be lacking nutrients which will lead to more depression and anxiety. I honestly don't know the answer, Daniel, except to try to go for inpatient treatment if you are accepted.

Love, Tricia x

Thu Jun 12 2008 11:58:13 #
anxiousgal
Member

Hi Daniel!

Sorry to hear things aren't going so well for you! I did have a fear of public toilets when I started school. I used to wait til lunchtime to use the toilet at home and at the evening. So I can understand fear of toilets outside the house but I can't say I have had them at home except of course that i can't clean the toilet anymore! But i can use it. However, when I went to visit uni a couple of years ago I was scared of idea of sharing with more people and people I didn't know so asked for en-suite room (which I got but as you probably know wasn't able to go to uni)So I think I can understand it to a degree. Like Tricia I am concerned about your maybe not getting enough fluid intake especially in the hot weather. You can do without food to a degree but if you don't have water you can get dehydrated and your kidneys could pack in! Then you could be in hospital with staff who know nothing of OCD making you drink and use toilet! Have you considered having those slim fast/protein drinks that can replace a meal? That way at least you are getting vitamins and not having to drink too much liquid. Kinda like a drink and meal in one, tasty too!

Luv Natasha

Thu Jun 12 2008 12:26:44 #
brennie
Member

Hiya Daniel, it was nice talking to you yesterday, you are a lovely young man.
But as i said please try to eat breakfast and if necessary for now until you can start to eat better ask mum to go and get some of those carton drinks from the chemist which have all the vitamins which you must be lacking, you could even get your doctor to prescibe the better ones for you, but it would be even better if you could get your appetite back.
Speak to you soon Dan.
love brennie x

Fri Jun 13 2008 8:02:21 #