Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Oh God, I've had enough I really have. I feel like this was the last straw. Poo on the loo flusher AGAIN. What is wrong with these people?! Why I am I the only one who sees it? Surely even non-OCD people would find that disgusting? I can't live in this house anymore. I can't get better when I am literally surrounded by s***. Anyone who went to the toilet since the perpetrator of the mess on the flusher has now been walking around with poo on their hands, spreading it everywhere and it's making me feel sick. I just want to die right now, it's not fair, how can this be fair? I'm shaking, I feel so angry and scared and frustrated. I want to curl up in a ball and never get up. I can't even look at my parents now. I don't want them touching me, I don't want their filthy hands on me, I don't want them anywhere near me. I just want to stay in my room forever, and keep it as my own clean zone. Tomorrow I'm going to have to go out though, I'm going to go and buy loads of cleaning stuff and then I'm going to scrub and clean as much as I can. I want to scrub myself. I just want to rip all my skin off and start again. I wish I could jump out of my window now and run away from here. I don't have anywhere to go though, I wish I did. I think I'd rather be sectioned and in padded cell or something right now than in this house. I'm terrified of it. I can't even cry. I want to cry and cry everything out of me but I can't. I don't know whether to crawl into bed and sleep for ages to escape or to stay up all night.
If its good enough for a baby's bum then it must be good enough for the floor right? I used to have to use clorox or bleach cleaners...truth is...OCD and Lysol commercials make me think I need to clean excessively every time...I do limit myself now to once a week or so...many people dont use chemicals and shop at the stores I shop at! In reality, the number of people who dont wash after the 'loo' (I dont know why I love that you use that word, but I love it :))and go about their day, there's poo everywhere! We cant be certain can we? Yet we tend to let that go and not worry about it. The idea that our 'contaminated' issues stay put right in our homes or where ever we think is 'contaminated' is distorted thinking. It may be better to think of poo EVERYWHERE! Because, maybe it is! Or maybe it isnt! 
Thanks for making me laugh.
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