OCD Action

bitofamess
Member

Yeah basically i've had ocd for as long as i can remember, my earliest memory was doing an o-c act, my life is s*** got diagnosed 2 and a half years ago, was really really bad then, have had cbt and got better for a bit but i had a breakdown like 9 weeks ago after being dodgy for a while, finally got fluoxetine 6 weeks ago am on 40mg a day and going up to 60mg soon, i feel a bit better and happier but my eatings been really bad, i've lost over 2 and a half stone since my breakdown and my weights still going down, quite worried about it :s i've been seeing my therapist who is lovely and we've caught the eating disorder early but its still really hard and although i've told a couple of my friends about the eating (because its quite obvious) i've only told one about the ocd and that was what caused the breakdown, so i'm feeling really lonely and stressed and my parents don't really understand which causes lots of arguments and i just want to curl up and die or run away or something but thats bad obviously, i just feel really alone and even though the thoughts aren't as bad as they were before the medication they still get me really down and stuff, i see all my friends laughing and joking and the biggest problem in their lives are about relationships but i can't explain about my ocd, its killing me... but yeah it would just be really cool if someone else whose about my age (16-18(i'm 17)) with ocd and other stuff could chat so i don't feel so alone... Cheers. Nice to get that off my chest lol. Xx

Sun Dec 12 2010 23:43:49 #
jo
Member

Hi
I'm not your age but just wanted to say welcome to the forum. I have OCD which affects my eating too. Its not an eating disorder in the classical sense but the OCD affects what I buy, how I buy it, what I eat and drink and other stuff too. I have had OCD since my early teens, but the food stuff only started relatively recently. There are lots of young people that use this site, and its generally a very friendly place. If you want to talk further you are welcome to send me a PM. Hopefully you will find this forum somewhere you can get some more support and ease the feeling of being alone.
Best wishes
Jo

Mon Dec 13 2010 0:07:02 #
Truddles
Member

Hi bitofamess,

Welcome to the forum

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a rough time

I too am not your age but suffer eating problems because of the OCD.

Sometimes when we’re depressed we can lose our appetite and then it becomes a real struggle to start eating again.

The main thing is you have a therapist that you appear to get on with and that she’s caught your eating disorder early.

It’s good that you’ve been able to confide in a couple of friends about your eating problems. But I understand that it’s not so easy to explain to others about your OCD, but given time you might find that you’re able to.

Sometimes parents really struggle to cope when their child is ill and it can cause rows, but it isn’t something that can’t be sorted.

It might be worth purchasing a book called ’Breaking Free from OCD’ by Jo Derisley.

It’s called a CBT Guide for Young People and Their Families and is aimed at younger people and their parents or carers. It’s well presented and is by no means boring and explains things simply but in depth and contains plenty of work sheets for you to work through. It explains CBT and how to do it – a lot better than some of the books for adults, in fact I use some of the worksheets myself

At the end of each chapter there is information for the parent or carer giving them advice on how to help the young person with OCD. This book might help your mum and dad to understand what you’re going through and more importantly how they can work with you to help you overcome this.

It isn’t easy seeing all your friends laughing and joking when you’re going through hell, but given time with your therapy you will be able to explain your OCD to others and more importantly be able to start enjoying life again.

You do not need to feel alone, join in on the forum for support from others. We’re a friendly forum and do our best to try to support each other. If you’re feeling really low don’t keep it to yourself confide in someone or come on to the forum or you can always ring the Samaritans or the OCD Action helpline if you need to talk to someone.

OCD ACTION HELPLINE on 0845 390 6232
THE SAMARITANS on 08457 90 90 90

Best wishes
Trudy

Mon Dec 13 2010 14:27:31 #
Ella
Member

i get depperession rly bad.

ocd sucks dont it.
ella.

Fri Dec 17 2010 22:37:42 #
Unregistered

Hi, I'm a bit older, I'm 19. I'm sorry to hear life is so hard for you, but we all understand.

I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I used to be obsessed with eating healthily and measured out what I ate, counted calories etc, I lost quite a bit of weight. Now I'm the opposite and I eat to excess. I can't seem to stop though. I think about food all the time, I seem to structure my day around it, I'm always thinking about my next meal or snack. On top of my contamination fears it's such a stress.

Fri Dec 17 2010 22:48:09 #
bitofamess
Member

Hey everyone;
thanks for the replies- its nice to know that someone can take the time out of their day to try to help. yeah helz i can definitely identify with what you're saying just my problems with food were the other way around, i always used to overeat when i felt bad, i ate loads and felt horrible but kept doing it, just now i've lost my appetite and theres a huge stigma for me around food, i ate about 1200-1500 calories today and i feel horrible, i'm only used to about 400 which i've been keeping steady for the last couple of weeks. to put it in perspective although that doesn't sound like much at all in my worst week i only ate about 800-1000 calories in the week and went 3 solid days without eating. But i know what you mean with the overeating. i've only been anorexic for 9-10 weeks and it felt really good, there was something in my life i had control over (not having control over any thoughts/feelings/behaviours) and i lost some weight, but now its totally out of control and thats become clear today, i still feel really fat even though i'm at a very healthy weight. but the point i'm trying to make is to be careful not to go too far the other way when you try and eat better, thats more destructive if anything. what i've found helpful in sorting my eating out is to draw up timetables and strict plans, i don't know if it'll work for you but its worth a try.
anyway jo and trudy thanks for the messages, i hope venting my feelings and frustrations on here might help, and i hope i can help others because i know how horrible it is to suffer from this illness and others, like the depression and eating disorders. they are so all-consuming and destructive... i hate it.
and ella i replied to your post on the other thread, reply to me and we can talk properly. it does suck...
anyway thanks guys, i feel a bit better now
Xxxx

Sun Dec 19 2010 1:23:36 #
Truddles
Member

Hi,

Sometimes trying to explain how you feel or why you do or don't do something to someone close such as a parent just ends up in a heated argument. Mainly because emotions run high as you're getting frustrated because you want them to know and they're getting frustrated because they want to understand but can't grasp what it is that you're going through. It's not either sides fault.

It's at times like this that it can be helpful to quietly take your time to put everything down on paper. Initially write it as bullet points and then expand on them. Some forum members found that writing it in the form of a story helped.

Write down how you feel, what appears to help and what doesn't. Also write down what it is that you find difficult about food, what you can manage and what you can't. The more information that you put down the easier it will be for not only others to understand what you're going through but also help you to understand. You could always show it to your therapist to ask for their input before showing it to your parents.

Try not to think in terms of calories or diets but to try to eat healthily.

I know of several people on the forum, me included, that have issues with food because of their OCD. But you need to eat a well balanced diet that isn't full of junk food. The brain needs this to function at it's best, junk food however comforting only makes the OCD and depression worse by starving the brain of vital nutrients. Fluoxetine can initially make you lose your appetite but this should pass, let your therapist know that you've lost your appetite, once again the more you tell them the more they can help.

I can understand that you need to feel that you have control over something but find something other than food that you can control. But remember we don't have to always have control as there are some things in life that we just can't control.

Don't be so hard on yourself as this adds to the problem, above all you need to be kind to yourself.

Best wishes
Trudy x

Sun Dec 19 2010 11:26:48 #
Unregistered

Hi, thanks for your reply and the friend request, I've accepted. Feel free to PM me if you want. I've done the planning food every day thing but that was what started me obsessing with food in the first place, because I used to work out the calories, fat, saturated fat, sugar and salt for everything I ate. I spent so much time on it.

Sun Dec 19 2010 13:12:05 #
bitofamess
Member

Thanks guys your totally right about the lack of understanding trudy, me and my mum have just had a long chat and i said how difficult it is for me to communicate and help her to understand, and i think shes beginning to get near to understanding. its still difficult though.
We're going to write down what i'm going to eat every day for the next couple of weeks so i've got some rigidity to it. not ideal over christmas but oh well... better than nothing. and i made myself sick today which wasn't good because i felt like i ate too much...
also sorry to hear about that Helz, its hard when you have had a bad relationship with food, tricky to know what to do...
Xxxx

Mon Dec 20 2010 0:44:11 #
Truddles
Member

I'm so pleased that you and your mum have had a long chat and that you've managed to tell her how difficult it is for you to communicate, she's probably having the same problem. It's not easy for a parent to see their child suffer how ever old the child is. Don't forget in their eyes we're always their child, even if we're fifty or sixty years old. But you've made a start and things should start to improve
Please try not to make yourself sick as it'll not only damage your teeth but end up damaging your general health. If you feel that you can't cope with what you've eaten talk to your mum first. Talking to her will give you time to get used to the feeling of having something in your stomach. However uncomfortable it is the feeling will pass.

Mon Dec 20 2010 15:52:34 #