OCD Action

slogsweep
Member

Morning all, sorry for my absence the last couple of days I've been busy for a change with work.

Today I'm going Christmas shopping. It's going to be absolutely packed. While the day out is a welcome distraction from the OCD, I get terrible anxiety from being in crowded places, incase someone thinks I've done something wrong or someone knows I'm ill and makes fun of me.

Does anyone else feel like this sometimes? And has anyone found any tips to help?

Best wishes,
Slog

Sat Dec 3 2011 9:02:57 #
Tess
Member

Hi slog
I think vast numbers of people find Christmas shopping exhausting, add OCD and crowds into the mix and it's a recipe for a lot of stress. I've learned over the years to reduce stress as much as I can so I start buying presents as early as September - if I see something I know someone will like then I buy it, it also helps spread the cost. My husband gets panic attacks in crowded shops so avoiding them has become a necessary part of life but there are some lovely small shops on the fringes of shopping streets which don't get overly busy and where you can often pick up some lovely things at reasonable prices.
I think it's also helpful to add some pleasure time for yourself into the shopping experience, find a quiet cafe and relax for a while. Make a list before you go and cross things off as you get them, this helps to stop your mind going into overdrive trying to remember everything. Keep your money and plastic safe and out of sight because there will be others around who are not the slightest bit concerned about actually doing wrong. As for anyone knowing you are ill and poking fun, it's very unlikely to happen but just hang on to your self esteem, anyone who does that is just demonstrating their own ignorance and is doing far more harm to their own self respect than they are doing to you. Now, go and try to enjoy your day.

Sat Dec 3 2011 10:29:08 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hullo Slog -

sounds familiar! I had experiences not unlike those you describe here. In my case it was about: hm, do people notice I drank alcohol last night and went to bed too late? And indeed: do they notice I am 'not like them' (for having OCD, that is)? In retrospect, I can laugh about that: first, I knew for sure that esp. the younger people in those places (students, mainly) probably had hit the sack at 5 AM in a state. Second: it was plain silly to think that I was the one with some disorder, and all others were showcases of bright, pure, and undiluted health and sanity. But well, the moments one suffers from it, it's far from funny.

I guess part of these feelings can be named: social anxiety disorder (SAD), which is an officially recognized form of anxiety. It can bring with it somatic (bodily) symptoms, like sweating, trembling, and sometimes dizziness.

Tips: expose yourself as much as possible, sort of a personal CBT. From experience I know that when one feels during shopping: oh, how happy and relieved I will be once I am at home, one is not really with the event (the shopping) itself, mentally. That's not good. Being out there among others can be a great pleasure.

Start by going with a (or more) friend(s), preferably people who know about your condition, and won't ever poke fun at you for that. All other forms of humour are most welcome. Company will greatly alleviate the fears.

Later on, you might go on your own, and then a cunning strategy might work: early on, ask other shoppers, or shop assistants, where you can find this or that item. Draw them in, ask which after shave would be best suitable for you, or what mixer is best suited for a single person household.

Believe me, this works to great effect. Persistence is the key. At certain points in time, you will feel confidence building up. One of the finest experiences is: to start feeling like just another completely anonymous shopper, not like someone with a special and shameful problem. A number of anxiety symptoms will just cease to be. Which is a cause for celebration.

And then, one day, you will accidentally, in a crowded shop, drop a bottle of red wine. And after a brief jolt, and some shame, you will notice that an assistant quickly will put you at ease and wipe the floor. No harm done, and trouble over.

I hope this helps, well, it worked for me.

Best to you too, mr/ms (?) Slog, from Cuthbert. Hope you had a good shopping day!

Sat Dec 3 2011 10:42:49 #
aishah
Member

Hi Slog,

I too get anxiety attacks when in crowded places, though not always, usually if I am already anxious and then have to go shopping.

I feel like everyone is looking at me, and when anxious I am usually getting lots of intrusive thoughts and I fear that I am going to shout things out in public, it really scares me.

I also have a problem with excessive blinking when anxiety levels are really high, so that makes it worse.

I don't really have any tips other than don't NOT carry on because of it as this can cause another set of problems and may stop you from going out.

I hope you have a great day of shopping today and treated yourself too!

Let us know how it went.

Bridget

Sat Dec 3 2011 18:24:00 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Slog, I agree with Cuthbert, Bridget and Tess in what they have said to you... I find that Christmas shopping is fraught with problems, cos I never know what to get, and then when I've got something I cant decide if it is right or not, mostly not, and the circle of fear steps in, and I hate the experience...
I do also like the idea of getting into a cafe when out, it turns the thing into an outing, mor fun, and you get to hear others talking about all sorts of things that aren't OCD... Anyway, hope your day went okay...
wannabe

Sat Dec 3 2011 21:05:55 #
slogsweep
Member

Hello everyone, thank you so much for your replies, reading them in the car made me feel able to face the city.

I had a lovely day, barely any trouble from the OCD, got out the house on time and other than the morning panic I was ok :-)! Spent far too much but OCD certainly shows there's more to life than money.

Thank you all, really appreciated. I was really scared in the morning.

Enjoy your Christmas shopping,
Slog

Sun Dec 4 2011 16:40:58 #
playthoseblues
Member

Hi Slog,

My OCD always gets a bit high when I'm in crowded places. Glad you did some good shopping! I always anticipate too, and get really high anxiety.

Best Wishes Jon

Sun Dec 4 2011 17:09:33 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Jon, Hi Slog, well done on getting through all that... Great stuff, you should feel proud now, these big steps forward make the odd small step back bearable... This is recovery in action, Thank you for sharing...
wannabe

Sun Dec 4 2011 19:54:16 #
playthoseblues
Member

ERP

Sun Dec 4 2011 21:19:25 #
slogsweep
Member

Cuthbert your post was phenomenal too thank you, I should have mentioned it individually. So is this a common OCD problem? Worrying about crowds? Or is it something purely from SAD?

Thanks everyone,

Slog

Sun Dec 4 2011 22:40:11 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hiya Slogsweep -

I'm still blushing... thanks so much for the compliment! Well, I only wrote down what I think is a viable strategy, and I peppered it with elements from personal experience. I'd like to emphasise this: I wrote that it is not good to think during shopping: please let this be short, and how relieved I will be once I'm at home again... I myself had this attitude for years, and it did not bring me one inch farther, towards real improvement. One is not 'at one with the shopping experience itself', so to speak, one doesn't really enjoy it, is in a bit of a nervous haze.

That is why those small steps over time, to really get 'into it', are so important. Life should not be something that consists too much of 'flight' reactions.

As for your question: the boundaries between different forms of anxiety are not absolute. SAD and OCD both are certified anxiety disorders. Theoretically, worrying about crowds is not present in the 'catalogue' of OCD symptoms. But there is always some spillover. Doctors who put together the big handbook for these afflictions have to make choices (happening as we speak, the standard guidebook called DSM is entering its 5th edition, and there is a lot of discussion going on), and these choices always are a bit arbitrary.

So: the crowd-fear isn't part of OCD proper, but the chance that we carry it with us is really present. I myself have checking and hoarding OCD, and used to have (before my medication): fear of heights, fear of crowds, and a talent for panic attacks. In practice, these problems translated as: being terribly afraid before any social event, and also during the first hour or so; sweating a lot; trembling; and real loss of spontaneity (too much thinking about what I said, what I was going to say, if that which I said was all right or if I had overstepped a boundary of decency, and so on). All of which was very, very tiring, and hiding my problems from the others made it extra taxing.

I hope this answers your question a bit; and anyway, the site will be improved in the not too distant future, and then I will put up readable stuff about numerous topics concerning OCD. I will see to it that a nice overview of the classification of anxiety disorders will appear sometime.

Oh, and last but certainly not least: I gladly concur with Wannebefree here. Congratulations with the big step forward, and indeed, what we see is recovery in action!

Cheers from Dutch Cuthbert.

Mon Dec 5 2011 8:26:11 #
aishah
Member

Hi Slog,

I'm so pleased you had a good shopping trip! Well done.

Bridget

Mon Dec 5 2011 11:20:05 #