OCD Action

12 Next »

playthoseblues
Member

Hello,

I think I posted this a while back but I need more help. I feel lonely all the time, all the damn time. At school I'm ok, I'm with others and we can all socialise, but when I'm at home on the weekends I feel so lonely.

Since my OCD got bad a couple of years ago, it's like I've fell out of what other people my age do.I used to do quite a lot of socialising, sleep-overs, seeing people, but I can't and don't do any of that anymore. Apart from school my life consists of work and just sitting in my bedroom. I desperately want to meet up with some friends, but none of them have the time to see me, or I don't know, they just can't. It;s like they're expriencing life, whilst I'm not and it just kills me inside. I was alone at New Year, and I'm alone tonight, and I just hate it I really do.

My old set of friends found someone else so it's like I don't really have them so much anymore, and I feel like a prisoner in my own home. All evening I've felt like it. On Friday when you ask what others are doing over the weekend, they have something planned, I don't.. I have school work and thats it. I don't drink because I worry that the OCD will get worse then, but as usual its seen in my generation that if you don't drink you can't have a good time. I hate living out in the sticks too, where you have to drive anywhere to meet someone you want to, which only makes it more difficult

Sorry for the rant, you've probably got many worries of your own, but sometimes it's not just the OCD that makes me anxious but just being alone too

Jon

Sat Jan 14 2012 21:41:19 #
blueboy
Member

Jon,
i totaly know here you are coming from.. i never did make friends easily... i trusted people so much... but it was usualy met with... deceit and let downs... so i eventualy gave up... and kept to myself... i know its not quite the same with you... even when i was 14 my dad offered me money to go out of the house sometimes.. and as i went on i still found no one was honest ... and caring so it re-inforced my withdrawel from social things.. now i am very lonely.. here out in the country.. and if i didnt have my pc... and my beloved in south america.. i would be lost... but i wish sometimes to just get out and about and share company one to one.. i just dont like going around by myself... i know i'm not offereing advice here... only that i understand how things go.. i'm rather in the same boat...

Sat Jan 14 2012 23:54:44 #
blueboy
Member

pm if you ever want chat a bit more.. happy to interact.. paul.

Sun Jan 15 2012 0:02:03 #
Sydney :)
Member

KI get this too. I'm 17, should be out living it up, having fun with my friends, cherishing my senior year in high school. Instead I'm harping on my anxiety and thoughts and my friends have basically accepted that I never want to go anywhere or do anything anymore. :/

Sun Jan 15 2012 3:03:12 #
playthoseblues
Member

Thanks for the replies guys. I feel a bit better this morning

Sun Jan 15 2012 12:30:12 #
slogsweep
Member

KI get this too. I'm 17, should be out living it up, having fun with my friends, cherishing my senior year in high school. Instead I'm harping on my anxiety and thoughts and my friends have basically accepted that I never want to go anywhere or do anything anymore. :/

Hi everyone, this quote pretty much sums up my social life. I'm 21 and haven't been on a proper night out since September, just trips to the pub sipping coke or nights in. The odd meal out too but not with friends as I used to.

We're not alone, I guess,

Slog

Sun Jan 15 2012 12:35:54 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi everyone, Me too! I sit at the computer writing, because to go out anywhere costs a lot of money, which at the moment is a bit scary, my benefits have been changed. I used to be on incapacity benefit, but I've changed to a new one now, so I don't yet know where I am financially. I should be reading, got a book from the library by Stephen Fry, a few days ago, and haven't even started reading it yet... I must try to get into a good book. Even the Imp of the mind is unread, I feel so tired to focus on the printed page. TV is terrible, but it is on in the background while I sit here now. I cannot expect the rest of my family to have the house in silence. It is all so depressing some of the time.
Wannabe

Sun Jan 15 2012 12:45:22 #
slogsweep
Member

I didn't like the Imp of the Mind Wannabe, I found it unsettling but please do let me know what your thoughts are on it,

I tend to use the money I've saved when I've been left out of a night out to treat myself to a little something. I missed out on a big night out so I bought a new LP. It just gives something positive to cling onto when you're feeling left out. Often it also works out cheaper.

How are you today?

Best wishes

Slog

Sun Jan 15 2012 13:08:13 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Slog, I'm pottering along at the moment, thank you. I sat and read the terms and conditions for Amazon Kindle publishing yesterday, cos I was looking for some information buried in it. It was mind numbing to say the least! I'll pick up Imp of the mind when I'm feeling a bit more up to it, use it to sort of Study... I like 'Overcoming Obbsesive compulsive disorder, by David Veale and Rob Willson, I found that quite a steady read...
Wannabe

Sun Jan 15 2012 13:20:54 #
playthoseblues
Member

Most of my money goes on music Slog, it's the only thing that I really feel interested in half the time. But I just wish I was given the chance to go out more with my friends.. But I think they think I would be too much of a hassle with the OCD

Sun Jan 15 2012 15:15:02 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Jon, I tend to bury myself in music too, there is such a wide range to choose from... I'm listening to Roxy music as I write this...
I find that going out with friends means spending money I haven't got.
My Benefits have recently changed, and I don't know how it is all gonna go yet.
But music is a good thing, something I'm grateful for, my sense of hearing is pretty good if I'm listening on headphones.
Wannabe

Sun Jan 15 2012 16:26:36 #
playthoseblues
Member

I tend to analyse music I listen to. Picking out bits that I may have not heard before.. there's so much to delve into with a piece of music!

Sun Jan 15 2012 16:46:53 #
Aimboy
Member

Hi Jon

I understand where your coming from, I dont go out with friends much either, it wasnt that bad when I was at home because at least I could go on my xbox or ps3 to pass some of the time, but now im back at uni I have nothing to do. unfortunately ive been put with flatmates who just want to get drunk, as well as some who take drugs regularly so I dont really go anywhere now except lessons :/. Im supposed to be enjoying uni but so far it hasnt been to good due 2 OCD and social anxiety

All the best, Joe

Sun Jan 15 2012 17:17:43 #
Sydney :)
Member

I tend to analyse music I listen to. Picking out bits that I may have not heard before.. there's so much to delve into with a piece of music!

That's really cool. I use music as an outlet as well. It always helps.

Sun Jan 15 2012 17:20:50 #
playthoseblues
Member

Thanks for the replies since my last post.

I just feel like I'm missing out so much all the time, and that I'm just wasting my life, whilst everyone else is living it up It makes me feel so rubbish. I know that my therapists have told me about Black and White thinking, but I then get more anxious because of what I want

Sun Jan 15 2012 20:01:45 #
Sydney :)
Member

Thanks for the replies since my last post.
I just feel like I'm missing out so much and that I'm just wasting my life, whilst everyone else is living it up It makes me feel so rubbish that my therapists have told me about Black and White thinking, but I then get more anxious because of what I want

I understand getting upset and thinking you're missing out on life, I do. But you're still young and you've got your whole life ahead of you. OCD is just an obstacle we all have to overcome. It's like a bully that nags us and pushes us around but we can't let it. We've just got to live. I mean what is the worst that could happen?

Sun Jan 15 2012 20:27:18 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Jon, I do too sometimes... I wonder if I'll achieve anything, if I'll ever work again, if I'll ever be well again, all sorts of things... Just living itself feels like an ordeal, but I get through each day, get to the evening, and then wonder why I feel that I haven't enjoyed it. To be honest, I don't enjoy life really, it is just something to endure a lot of the time. I'm sorry to sound so negative, but that is how my life is, because I feel like a failure a lot of the time. If I could break free from the OCD, I guess I could enjoy life more, but as it is at the moment, it is just an endurance test.
I wish it wasn't, but that is how I see it at the moment.
Wannabe

Sun Jan 15 2012 20:31:00 #
Aimboy
Member

Hi again

The only advice I can give is to pick yourself up and do your best to make your life more fulfilling. I know you probably hear that a lot but its the only option you've got if you want to change. I understand the sadness you are experiencing i also feel sorry for myself a lot of the time as probably a lot of others do, maybe even yourself. Im now starting to realise thinking that way has got me nowhere and its the wrong way to think if you want to increase the quality of your life. Like i said i know its hard but just give it your best shot whilst your still young

Good Luck, Joe

Sun Jan 15 2012 22:33:21 #
slogsweep
Member

I use music as an escape too. I invested in some good sound-cancelling headphones and I block out the entire world. I listen to albums that are quite dense and challenging, stuff that occupies the mind as well as the ears.

As an example I love that Metallica/Lou Reed combo (despite not being a fan of heavy metal) because of the density and anger of Lou Reed's crazy lyrics.

I'm surprised many people on here are the same, I thought I was just a bit odd!

Slog

Sun Jan 15 2012 22:41:11 #
playthoseblues
Member

Take last weekend for example. Yet again, saw nobody, so I just decided to listen to Pink Floyd Dark Side Of The Moon in the dark on my amp. Bit of a weird experience, but a good one.

I like Lou Reed's song (the wild side one) its good

Jon

Mon Jan 16 2012 7:34:45 #
playthoseblues
Member

Mon Jan 16 2012 7:34:45 #
playthoseblues
Member

@Aimboy, I know where you're coming from there too. I want to be able to seize these opportunities whilst I'm young, but this ideology that I'm wasting my teen years then makes me even more stressed And then with A Levels I get bogged down with them too. I'm going to try and arrange to meet some friends next weekend. With luck I'll do something. My home is more like a prison half the time

Mon Jan 16 2012 18:38:54 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Jon, Sorry to hear that you are struggling a bit. I have people in my familys' past that spent so much time studying they got to do nothing else... They literally did studying on the train to and from Uni, while I would look out of the windows on trains. I would work all hours on study at home, until I was so tired I couldn't function, working into the early hours so my brain would be frazzled... Now I make it a habit to stop before 10.30pm if I can, cos I'm getting too old to burn the midnight oil, I'm blaming my age now!
But age is a relative thing, and if you don't get everything done, they do say it starts at forty! I would suggest you read, but you are probably doing enough of that already, so snoozing might be an idea? Rest is important as well, plus, if you get time, a walk out for some fresh air, even if it is to the shops and back, but not for a newspaper, they're too depressing, maybe some chocolate? I'm known for liking my Fruit and nut chocolate, I like the taste, but chocolate contains natural mood lifters... I'm just off to raid my stash, cos I feel down too right now...
Hope you feel better soon.
Wannabe

Mon Jan 16 2012 20:29:48 #
Sydney :)
Member

I love the way you guys talk. XD bogged haha it's so cool. I'm from the US and our accents are no fun. I love y'alls

Mon Jan 16 2012 20:33:14 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Sydney! I know, english is a wierd language, and it varies so much across the country too!
Wannabe

Mon Jan 16 2012 20:36:53 #
Sydney :)
Member

No it's not weird just cool. If you guys were all in

Mon Jan 16 2012 20:48:28 #
Sydney :)
Member

If you guys were all in a room talking I would love to listen to you talk haha

Mon Jan 16 2012 20:50:12 #
wannabefree
Member

Okay! It's cool! I would say that I am wierd, but I mustn't be negative...
OCD Makes me feel negative such a lot of the time...
I'm off to get a cup of decaff coffee right now... Chat again later.
Wannabe

Mon Jan 16 2012 21:04:41 #
Aimboy
Member

LoL @ Sydney :), I think a lot of us would struggle to understand each other with all our different accents and sayings haha.

On a more serious note i understand where ur coming from playthoseblues you do get more stressed the more u think about it, though it seems like your giving it a good go and at the end of the day i suppose thats all that can be asked of you

Joe

Mon Jan 16 2012 22:14:58 #
playthoseblues
Member

Thanks for the replies,

I've been doing some things to try and counter-act working all the time wannabe, espically when I was leading up to exams! I would go for a walk around the block which could take about 50 minutes, but then I had to be careful because my OCD could play up when I was outside. I read too, but only before I go to bed! Because otherwise I nod off!! (Another one there for you Sydney :D)

I remember my teachers saying to me before exams that I'd burn out if I wasn't careful, so I relaxed (tried) but now exams are over, we're working towards the next set so I'll over-work again!!

Thank you again everyone

Jon

Tue Jan 17 2012 7:26:33 #