OCD Action

elizabeth90
Member

Hi!

This is my first post in this forum. I am a 21 year old girl, and everytime i shower I am so afraid I am going to pee. Yesterday i used a timer (15 minutes) so that I wouldn't shower for that long, and use all the hot water. When I was done, I tried to get my hair as dry as possible, or else I will feel like the dripping water from my hair is pee.. (Silly, I know). Anyway while doing this I thought the water coming from my hair, dripping down my body was pee. I still do.. But I told myself to think about it again in the morning, and then make the decision whether or not to shower again. My fear is that it is now pee all over the bathroom floor, in my bed, and on my thighs.. I have to be at work in two hours.. Now I don't even want to go to work, because I am afraid I am dirty and I am going to make the workplace dirty and most of all my shoes and jacket.. Then I have to throw them out and buy new ones.. I hate this so much.. Not knowing whether or not I peed, it is exhausting to shower. I just want to be able to take a normal shower without thinking I peed myself.. Please help! And sorry if my english is bad

Wed Feb 1 2012 13:56:23 #
Mike
Member

A few things:

1) instead of drying your hair as much as possible, let it stay wet for a while so that it drips all over you, and don't dry it all off before you get dressed.

2) Definitely don't avoid showering again because of this fear

3) Don't clean your bathroom floor, bed, or yourself, just to get the water off.

4) Don't avoid going to work, no matter how unsure you are that there is urine on you.

You will never be able to prove to the OCD that you didn't pee, so the above compulsions will not help and will only keep the obsessive-compulsive cycle going. Tell yourself that it is possible that you peed, but you're going to have to live with that possibility just like everyone else, and go about your day no matter how anxious this might make you. These are the techniques done in ERP therapy, which is the most effective way to treat OCD.

Mike

Wed Feb 1 2012 15:58:03 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Elizabeth... Welcome to the forums... Just a thought... Pee is actually sterile when it leaves the body... Or so they tell me... So it is harmless... Otherwise we wouldn't have got through our nappy days...
Trying not to worry is really difficult, but I feel for you at this time cos I have similar... I too find it difficult to stop washing my hands... I bewlieve that I am never clean enough, and yet... We cannot be sterile clean, we have natural germs on us all the time without harm... It isn't easy is it? Although I sure wish it was...
Wannabe

Wed Feb 1 2012 15:58:42 #
Mike
Member

wannabe - even though urine is not really harmful, telling her that will not reduce her obsessions, just so you know. The OCD will just find a way around it. Like I said, compulsions, reassurance, etc. will never satisfy the OCD. That's why the goal is to accept the possibility that your feared consequence is true by exposure and response prevention, rather than trying to disprove it all the time.

Wed Feb 1 2012 17:17:50 #
aishah
Member

Hi Mike,

I agree with your theory but after having lots of CBT, I still have bad episodes and the anxiety is so high, along with all my other OCD issues that I can't tolerate it and give in to the compulsions/rituals.

The theory is easier said then done, I have been battling with OCD for two decades. Having said that I do have times when it is easier to deal with.

Regards
Bridget

Wed Feb 1 2012 17:46:51 #
aishah
Member

Hi Mike,

I agree with your theory but after having lots of CBT, I still have bad episodes and the anxiety is so high, along with all my other OCD issues that I can't tolerate it and give in to the compulsions/rituals.

The theory is easier said then done, I have been battling with OCD for two decades. Having said that I do have times when it is easier to deal with.

Regards
Bridget

Wed Feb 1 2012 17:46:52 #
aishah
Member

Hi Mike,

I agree with your theory but after having lots of CBT, I still have bad episodes and the anxiety is so high, along with all my other OCD issues that I can't tolerate it and give in to the compulsions/rituals.

The theory is easier said then done, I have been battling with OCD for two decades. Having said that I do have times when it is easier to deal with.

Regards
Bridget

Wed Feb 1 2012 17:46:57 #
Mike
Member

Yes, it can be very hard.

Wed Feb 1 2012 18:40:54 #
Mike
Member

What kind of cognitive therapy have you had?

Wed Feb 1 2012 18:41:42 #
elizabeth90
Member

Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate it. I just got home from work now, it went ok. I haven't cleaned anything, but I do smell/sniff and look to reassure myself. Are these also compulsions?

I have not had any form of therapy yet, I have been waiting to change doctors (I have to go through my doctor, before I can get a therapist). I should have a new doctor this week, and hopefully get an appointment soon. I have not wanted to get help, because I thought I could beat this by myself.. But everytime I overcome one thing, I get a new obsession.. It never stops.. So, I guess I need help. Thanks for the tips Mike, I will try to do this, even the hair-thing.

Wed Feb 1 2012 21:46:39 #
Mike
Member

Yes, the smelling is also a compulsion, so try to stop doing that. Basically, anything you do to try to prove to yourself or reassure yourself that you did not pee is a compulsion, and doing them will prevent you from getting better, and can actually make you worse. You might get very anxious from not doing the compulsions, but try to be very strong and refuse to do them as much as possible, and you'll get better. Ideally you'd be doing this with a therapist, which I know you'll have soon, but I think even on your own you can improve by resisting the compulsions.

I know you know that you didn't urinate, but the OCD doesn't care - it's trying to make you anxious at the slightest possibility that you did. So the idea is to live with that possibility, rather than trying to prove to the OCD that you didn't pee (cause that's impossible).

Wed Feb 1 2012 22:24:25 #
elizabeth90
Member

Thank you, I will try and stop the smelling and checking. And just live with the possibility as you say, sometimes it helps me to play pretend, say to myself I am going to pretend that did not happen (cause I really think it did..) and go on if I can, and most likely nothing bad is going to happen other than anxiety. One last question: I am living with my boyfriend and he finds it annoying when I constantly ask him, if I am clean or not, if he think I did this and that, what is that spot, did that touch that, will the couch get dirty if I sit down etc. Lately he read that he should not answer me.. But that is very frustrating, cause I used to rely alot on his answers.. What is the best way for your loved ones to help you help yourself if you have any tips for me?

Wed Feb 1 2012 23:17:39 #
Truddles
Member

Hi elizabeth90,

Welcome to the forum

Playing pretend helps initially to reduce the anxiety but in the long run actually increases it as it's a form of reassurance. I've tried it in the past and can truthfully say it made things so much worse.
Just acknowledge the thought but don't react to it, it's only a thought just like any other. It's the way that we react to the thoughts that's the problem and not the thoughts themselves.

With regards to how your boyfriend can help there's an excellent information sheet produced by OCD Action called Supporting a person with OCD in the Resource Centre that you could download for him to read.
I personally think that one of the best ways that someone can help us is to be there and provide encouragement, I found it a great help and it boosted my confidence.

Have a look at The OCD Action forums 101 tips for people with OCD guide for tips by forum members on how to cope with your OCD.

Thu Feb 2 2012 0:10:18 #
Truddles
Member

Hi elizabeth90,

Welcome to the forum

Playing pretend helps initially to reduce the anxiety but in the long run actually increases it as it's a form of reassurance. I've tried it in the past and can truthfully say it made things so much worse.
Just acknowledge the thought but don't react to it, it's only a thought just like any other. It's the way that we react to the thoughts that's the problem and not the thoughts themselves.

With regards to how your boyfriend can help there's an excellent information sheet produced by OCD Action called Supporting a person with OCD in the Resource Centre that you could download for him to read.
I personally think that one of the best ways that someone can help us is to be there and provide encouragement, I found it a great help and it boosted my confidence.

Have a look at The OCD Action forums 101 tips for people with OCD guide for tips by forum members on how to cope with your OCD.

Thu Feb 2 2012 0:10:18 #
Mike
Member

Elizabeth,

Since you were asking your boyfriend for reassurance, which is a compulsion, you should tell him that if he wants to help you get over this fear, he should refuse to answer you. Also, try just not asking him for reassurance, that way he won't have to worry about it or feel bad for not answering. The goal is to learn to live with the possibility that you urinated, and not worry about it unless there is evidence that you did.

Mike

Thu Feb 2 2012 0:59:00 #
Mike
Member

However, he CAN give you general reassurance if you are having a lot of anxiety or had a bad day because of the OCD. As long as he doesn't say anything like "no, you didn't pee, don't worry", or check things for you to make sure you didn't. General reassurance is OK and can help people suffering with OCD, but specific reassurance about your fears is just a form of compulsion.

Thu Feb 2 2012 1:00:21 #
elizabeth90
Member

Thank you Truddles, I have read the sheet, and will show it to him tonight, hopefully this will make it easier for him and me. I will try my best to stop asking for reassurance.

Thank you Mike for the help, I will work on this, and tell him not to answer me.

Elizabeth

Thu Feb 2 2012 14:21:18 #