OCD Action

nettlenoo
Member

hello im sorry to ask for advice but im freaking out ive been doing so much better and the thoughts are all but gone, but yesterday i made some head way with why i get these horrid thoughts so i faced up to it and wrote a letter which is not to be sent but i woke at five this morning and bang the thoughts are back and its specially hard as im babysitting my friends to kids next week and four year old and a 8 month baby and im freaking out about nappie changes and that due to the nature of my thoughts. ive been trying today to do avoid the thoughts by getting busy ive baked and cleaned but its still there niggling at me my partner says dont do it if it is making you feel this way but if thats the case ill never face it grr why is it never plain sailing. i watched a programme yesterday the doctor who hears voices and i thought will this be a trigger but i watched it all and it made me think and realised who the thoughts voice is if that makes anysense but it seems that facing that has brought me crashing to the ground. any advice please

Wed May 25 2011 11:06:33 #
Truddles
Member

Hi nettle,

I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad today.

You know that this is OCD talking and that you wouldn't do anything that you shouldn't do but it's still difficult dealing with the intrusive thoughts. You need to acknowledge them but not engage with them. Unfortunately only you know whether you feel that you can manage to babysit without it worrying you unduly.

Try to find something to do to pamper yourself today, something that's nothing to do with your OCD but will boost your confidence and make you feel good about yourself. If I remember correctly you like photography so whilst the weather is so good how about going out and taking some photos?

When our confidence and self esteem are low we're unable to deal with the OCD effectively as we continually doubt ourselves and end up deferring to our OCD assuming incorrectly that the OCD is right. The OCD isn't right our decisions are the correct ones. So tell the OCD to butt out.

Wed May 25 2011 11:36:03 #
aishah
Member

Hi Nettlenoo,

I'm sorry your thoughts are playing up again after making some headway. I suffer them too so I empathise with you.

I remember 6 months ago a friend had a baby and at the time my intrusive thoughts were really freaking me out too and the thoughts I was having were about harming her baby.

I decided to face them head on and continue cuddling her baby despite the thoughts in my head telling me otherwise and slowly but surely the anxiety and the thoughts did die down. This did take me some time though because at first the anxiety was too high for me to deal with.

I know it's a really hard thing to do but I have learnt through therapy that it is the only way to deal with it in order to lessen the impact the thoughts have over us.

Having said that, only you know if you are up to it, and if babysitting will cause you too much distress then you may have to leave it this time.

Bridget

Wed May 25 2011 16:08:45 #
nettlenoo
Member

hello thank you both for replies i feel a little better as the day has gone on i dont want to back out cos then im letting it win if that makes sense and like you say bridget after a time the anxiety dies down. ive been coping ok with cuddles and sitting with the baby and i will say i love the kids dearly and id never hurt them but ocd plays nasty games in your head . hope your both doing well

Wed May 25 2011 17:23:01 #
Ratwomble
Member

Dear nettlenoo,

Remember that getting well involves moving forward, but there is the occasional brief backwards step. You shouldn't worry about one bad day.

You're brave taking on kids whether you have OCD or not!!! Remember that once the anxiety fades I leaves you stronger and next time it won't be so bad and will last less long.

I think you're doing amazingly well. Don't let a little setback get to you.

Hugs

David

Wed May 25 2011 19:11:35 #