OCD Action

playthoseblues
Member

Hi guys,

I've had a really bad spike brought on today, and I really can't stand it at the moment, and I remember worrying about it in the past, but it went and now it's back again really bad.

There used to be a guy in my class at school, who came from a bit of a bad background, bad family etc... and he always played the fool in my class, bragging about smoking and stuff in Yr 7, and he was always regarded as the rebellious cool kid by loads of people. I didn't really speak to him, but I knew that he was one "of the lads" so to speak. Now back in early 2010, his house burnt down, we weren't told that much in class, apart from it was an "electrical fault" and that nobody was in the house at the time. The day before, I was speaking to someone who lived in his village but was off school that day, via internet, and he said the kid's house had broken down. (He lived in the same village). I thought he was having me on, because he didn't particularly like him, but alas it was true.

Now today, I was on Facebook, and I saw the guy's name come up, and it reminded me of what had happened to him, and I was plagued with these OCD thoughts that I had had, at the time, but hadn't recognised. I kept thinking after the incident, that perhaps, someone arsoned his house, maybe the kid who I spoke to, even though I don't think he would as he isn't the type. Or perhaps loads of people were in on it, and I was one of them. And that the guy had his house burned down for no reason. I felt very sorry for him, but it's like I keep thinking what if it was planned.

I've felt sick all day, and I have had really depressive thoughts, whilst sitting in the car and have felt irritable. I went for a walk in the woods with my dad and had awful thoughts, and I hate this all. And the stuff about the kid did happen, and so it makes it worse.

Please help me, I feel awful.

Jon

Wed Aug 17 2011 20:09:33 #
Ratwomble
Member

Jon,

Ive no doubt that the stuff actually happened to the kid, but it was nothing to do with you. You weren't nvolved in a plot, there weren't load of you complicitn burning his house down. It is your OCD telling you that.

Sounds like your OCD is just active at the moment and that is what it has picked on. Would have been something else if the name hadn't popped up on Facebook.

Stay calm. This will pass.

Bes wishes

David

Wed Aug 17 2011 20:23:55 #
playthoseblues
Member

About to go to sleep, but feel so ill. I felt physically sick today too.

Wed Aug 17 2011 22:11:41 #
David
Member

Hi Jon

I think that David (Ratwomble)is absolutely correct in his advice. It's OCD and it will pass. A large part of OCD is the fear that we will harm ourselves or others and some of us also think that we harmed somebody in the past and feel guilt about this. As Yeale & Wilson write in their book 'Overcoming OCD' people who suffer from OCD are the 'safest people in the world' - the special hospitals such as Broadmoor for the criminally mentally ill do not contain anybody with the diagnosis of OCD. This feeling of guilt can cause us to feel depressed and irritable and upset. It will pass.

Thu Aug 18 2011 15:14:57 #
playthoseblues
Member

It makes me feel so sick. It's like it has happened, because of me.

Thu Aug 18 2011 22:21:00 #
playthoseblues
Member

It's still the same as it was 2 days ago with not much relief. I haven't told my parents. I just want it to go.

Fri Aug 19 2011 20:49:01 #
Ratwomble
Member

Jon,

Are you stil on your Meds? I think you might benefit from chatting to your parents, you sound really down. Are you back home now or still away?

Best wishes

David

Fri Aug 19 2011 22:36:43 #
playthoseblues
Member

Hi David,

I am back from holiday now. A bit of relief since being home, but it's still there and creeping back again. I'm still on mediacation, taking them everyday though, wish they would work when I actually need them. I kept having thoughts of just handing myself in or something, and just take the blame if it was even by nature just to happen.

Sat Aug 20 2011 20:25:09 #
Ratwomble
Member

Jon,

Hand yourself in for what? You know that you had nothing t do with the guys house burning down. If they said it was an electrical fault then it was. If it had been anything else the police would have been all over it.

My friend, this is your OCD talking, are you stressed about going back to school? Exams? Girlfriends? Other? Maybe the OCD is just flaring.

And I know that your generation depends on Facebook for social contacts, but im not sure it is a great place for OCD sufferers to go!

Hugs

David.

Sun Aug 21 2011 21:51:45 #