http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/i-could-either-improve-or-finally-fall-apart-big-time-please-help-me-decide It's Time to Act. OCD Action provides support and information for people affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Mon, 21 May 2012 16:39:24 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/search.php http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/i-could-either-improve-or-finally-fall-apart-big-time-please-help-me-decide#post-42428 Mon, 21 Jun 2010 22:47:48 +0000 jo 42428@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Hi Nigel,<br /> Several people on this site have read that book and I have had it recommended to me also by people although unable to get a copy currently. I'm sorry you are having a rough time of it at the moment. I can very much empathise with you as I am at a similar cross roads trying to decide the best route to follow. Have you had contact with anyone in a professional capacity that could assess whether you are depressed or not? OCD and depression are partners in crime quite often and if you're feeling down then you will not have as much resilience to fight the OCD so it may be worth you getting this checked out. Also if you got someone in the know on your side then they could guide you through how to tackle the OCD too.<br /> I have what I perceive to be different forms of OCD but my chronic OCD behaviour is a checking one that involves checking doors and windows a certain way at certain times, I know how frustrating this is. My new morphed form of OCD also involves an element of checking, which is also a pain in the butt and having struggled with this probably for a bit too long without support I eventually have become depressed, so I definately would recommend getting some help before your confidence and self esteem takes too much of a bashing cos otherwise you'll have a longer journey back up the ladder.<br /> I have no pearls of wisdom to offer but I have experienced several years where my OCD was manageable and i lived a pretty normal life, so it is possible.<br /> The title of your post was "I could either improve or fall apart big time, please help me decide". I have also been wondering for several months which way my life was going to go, swinging between thinking I can beat the OCD into submission on my own and conversly feeling overwhelmed with it, the image I always get in my mind is like a beetle lying on its back wiggling around unable to get up again, thats quite often how my OCD makes me feel, completely helpless. Sadly an old friend recently decided to end their life and this eventually led me to be thinking about how people reach that point, how things get that bad, could I get to the stage where I went the same way. The conclusion I came to was that I have a choice, I quit, I give up and thats it game over, nothing else in this life, decision made OR I keep going keep fighting and if I die trying then so be it at the least the OCD didn't have the last laugh. I don't know if that makes sense but what I mean is OCD is a bitch,it messes with your head, it messes with your emotions and will try and destroy all that you are as a person if you let it. But we are all people who have intrinsic worth and for me I have to focus on that and tell myself to keep going whatever it takes. I do wobble big style quite frequently, and I hate that when you have a mental health problem that feeling that you become your disorder and lose yourself. But you yourself somewhere deep down knows you are worth the effort, so don't fall apart keep trying, and if you fall over get back up and keep going.<br /> Bit long winded waffle, just want to help. Thats where I'm at, and people on this site are kind and understanding and don't seem to mind that we wobble and worry and get down and help you get back up again. I definately recommend taking steps to take back your life. Go for it.<br /> If this makes no sense I apologise but I hope it shows people care.<br /> Best wishes<br /> Jo </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/i-could-either-improve-or-finally-fall-apart-big-time-please-help-me-decide#post-42426 Mon, 21 Jun 2010 19:53:39 +0000 nigel 42426@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Hi all,</p> <p>I have been a member for a few months now since I recognised that my bizarre actions go hand in hand with OCD. The people on this site have been very supportive otherwise I probably would have had a nervous breakdown by now!</p> <p>I'm in a strange place at the moment where I take good steps forward with your support and then I step one hundred steps back in end up in despair. I understand that I need to face the OCD fears but not obey the rituals. When I think positively for a few moments the pressure lifts and I breath new air but t doesn't last long and fear and doubt creep in and consume me.</p> <p>I have checking OCD where I have to check that I haven't dropped anything constantly over and over again even when I make lists and know I don't have anything. I find it difficult posing things and hoard things incase I accidently lose something (discard something).</p> <p>I'm at a crossroads where I feel I should give it a large push and face the fear and rebel against the rituals however painful it may be. The alternative is to break down and cry and hide away.</p> <p>Have any of you faced this and how did you get on day by day? Please can you help me find the stragth to get better?</p> <p>Has anyone read the book 'Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' by David Veale and Rob Willson? If so, would you reccomend it? Whilst I purchase it is there anything you could quote in the mantime to help me?</p> <p>Thank you</p> <p>Nigel </p>