OCD Action Online Forums » Topic: Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?

OCD Action Online Forums » Topic: Are cleaning compulsions more common in women? http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women It's Time to Act. OCD Action provides support and information for people affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Mon, 21 May 2012 15:48:43 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/search.php rena on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38120 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 19:21:09 +0000 rena 38120@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ I too agree that us OCD suffers are very sensitive and often read into comments made by others as offensive, when in reality the comments were not made to criticize the other, but made out of an innocent sense of humor. Anonymous on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38109 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 11:30:09 +0000 Anonymous 38109@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Oh dear I seem to have started a bit of an upset here and yes, there is a lot of anger inside me about the way I was treated 40+ years ago when sexual equality was virtually unheard of except for a few very brave women who rebelled against the prejudice in society. And lets not forget it's only a century since a suffragette gave her life to give women the vote in this country. I went to a highly regarded grammar school and made friends with four highly intelligent girls, we have remained close friends for over half a century but none of us have been able to achieve our academic potential, yet boys who were way below us academically at school are now professors, doctors, managing directors, etc. Would I have chronic contamination OCD had I been able to channel my thoughts into a rewarding occupation instead of being tied to a kitchen sink? answer - I don't know but I wish I had no reason to ask myself this question. Bingo I'm really sorry if I offended you and also that it has rebounded on Trudy because knowing Trudy and what a lovely kind lady she is I realised immediately that her comment was just her wicked sense of humour. So I hope we can all come through this particular thread slightly battered (like the chip on my shoulder) but a little wiser about how easy it can be to upset us oversensitive folk. bingo on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38103 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 21:53:36 +0000 bingo 38103@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Trudy, Sorry if I upset you. I am a bit sensitive about this sort of thing and it gets my compulsions going - probably unjustifiably. It's an OCD thing and on an open forum it is quite easy to get the wrong idea and get carried away. I lost it a bit and did not pick up the humour aspect - and I was a bit stressed out after spending my one day off doing the cleaning. Back to the grind tomorrow. Good luck, Bingo Anonymous on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38088 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 18:18:35 +0000 Anonymous 38088@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi bingo When my mum was in a nursing home the male nurse in charge saw that I could not sit down on the chairs without checking the seats because I had OCD. He said that all nurses he had met at conferences did the same. I think that contamination OCDers would make good nurses unless they are as bad as me. I could never have coped with bedpans as I still have issues with urine and faeces. I am sure that Trudy did not mean to sterotype you. I know that the younger generation of men are great at sharing responsibilites. I am in my 60s and this was not so when I was young unfortunately. Even if we were the main breadwinners we were still expected to be responsible for the housework. Most of the women I know who are the same age or older than me would echo this. I am really pleased that things are changing because it is awfully stressful when we have to do it all and also look after dying parents and sick husbands. Anne xx Anonymous on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38084 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 18:09:04 +0000 Anonymous 38084@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Trudy Don't be upset by this please. I think that women of our age (especially my age) are not used to men who help around the house. When I was growing up, men were the breadwinners- ie my dad did nothing round the house and did not do so when mum went to work and she ended up with a nervous breakdown. My first husband did nothing - my second does if asked. I think younger men are much more helpful. My neices' husbands are fantastic. Anne x truddles on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38076 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 16:17:02 +0000 truddles 38076@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Bingo, I wasn't having a dig at men, it was done in a humorous way in an attempt to encourage men to answer, that's why I added the laughs out loud smilie! Cleaning compulsions are by no means isolated to us females. In fact I know more house proud men than women and they all do their own cleaning and some definitely have cleaning compulsions. Humour is essential to keeping our sanity with OCD. nettlenoo on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38071 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 14:45:09 +0000 nettlenoo 38071@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ bingo im sorry you feel what trudy said was offensive but i know trudy well and she is salt of the earth a lovely lady who would never intentionally insult anyone. it was meant as a joke i know ocd causes sensitivities i have them too i can easily be offended but i do beleive we need a little humour sometimes too. just my little opinion here <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_smile.gif" title=":-)" class="bb_smilies" /> bingo on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38069 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 13:51:19 +0000 bingo 38069@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hey Truddles, "Only because most men don't know where the cleaning products are or how to use them" This is a bit sexist isn't it and it seems that some of the women on here think the same way. But then the men are getting used to that as "equality" seems to mean prejudice against men. I don't have cleaning compulsions, I do know where the cleaning materials are kept, I do know how to use them and I do use them regularly and keep the house clean. OK, so a bit of dust and grime gathers in some places from time to time and I can't profess to keeping the house spotless but I do have two jobs (by necessity, not choice) my own problems, myself and others to look after and sometimes I like to sleep a little at night. Agreed there will be some men who don't know where the cleaning stuff is kept but there are also some women who don't know. As an example; I was away on a residential course long before the days of mobile phones and a message was left for me from my other half. Thinking that it would be nice to read a few comforting words just imagine my disappointment when I opened it and it read "Where do you keep the hoover?". So let's keep to OCD, which is dreadful enough, without lowering ourselves to knock others on the basis of crude prejudice. We really need to counter such comments. A few days ago I read that the way to stop MSRA spreading in hospitals would be to employ only nurses with OCD. This clearly was made by some ignoramous and we really need to put this sort of thing right and perhaps we can use our energies to do that rather than knock each other. As a rider, I see no reason why whe should not have nurses with OCD. They have their strengths and weaknesses, just like everyone else, and if OCD is a problem in some way then reasonable adjustments to accommodate it under the DDA can be made. Good luck, Bingo aishah on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38061 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 09:21:44 +0000 aishah 38061@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ p.s. I do know of two men that have cleaning compulsions so I don't think it is isolated to just women although I believe it is more common amongst women. i know one thing, the three males in my household definately don't have cleaning issues! I think they think the fairies come in and clean up after them. Bridget aishah on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38060 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:59:58 +0000 aishah 38060@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi everyone, I have had cleaning compulsions all my life. Things got really bad and my life was all about cleaning and ordering. I have received treatment for this recently at the Maudsley and am now anti-obsessional when it comes to cleaning and ordering. The only trouble is, because I don't obsessively clean anymore, I am flooded with anxiety and intrusive thoughts which i am finding it hard to deal with as there is a void now that I don't clean. I will try hard to not ever go back to cleaning 24/7 but I now feel lost without it. Bridget truddles on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38058 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:46:53 +0000 truddles 38058@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Thanks netti, I'm ashamed to say that it really freaked me out. I notice that when she (the cat) wanted feeding she was all of a sudden all over me. But once I'd fed her she didn't want to know me again. Can't say that I blame her as I was pretty nasty this morning <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif" title=":(" class="bb_smilies" /> Still it means I'll get the bed to myself tonight <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_smile.gif" title=":-)" class="bb_smilies" /> Anonymous on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38057 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:08:45 +0000 Anonymous 38057@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi But we still have to hear from some men. Some on guys please, we would love to hear from you. Anne nettlenoo on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38051 Fri, 12 Feb 2010 00:25:35 +0000 nettlenoo 38051@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ trudy bless i was gonna say natural cleaning products such as white vinegar and baking soda, tea tree oil is great watered down can be used to clean stuff or lemon juice. cuts out the chemicals in recent years i find certain cleaners make me choke and cough so i try to by eco friendly or ones i know dont cause me issue. you can google lots of recipe for cleaning products hun if that helps truddles on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38037 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 19:36:24 +0000 truddles 38037@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Does anyone else have this problem - I have contamination OCD and yet I'm afraid to clean things for fear of making the contamination worse in the process. I don't mind the hard graft of cleaning I just am frightened of making the situation worse, but if someone checks that I'm using the right product and keeps an eye on me I'll do the job. Yes I know it's reassurance but if you aren't always completely concious it's not easy. I know that it's my epilepsy that started this one off. Putting kitchen cleaner in my food during a seizure frightened the life out of me. It's chemicals that I'm worried about not germs though I admit that vomit scares me at the moment. I have visions of it eating through the floor but if that were true we'd all be dead wouldn't we? And so as I'm having a bad time with the OCD indoors the cat has decided to keep throwing up with furball. I went nuts this morning as I was just about to go out to the hospital - the neighbours must have thought that I'd lost the plot with me screaming in frustration at the poor cat. And yes I've come back to more mess and a cat that wont speak to me <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif" title=":(" class="bb_smilies" /> OCD I hate you <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_exclaim.gif" title=":!:" class="bb_smilies" /> It's all pretty ironic as I used to buy all the latest cleaning products and had a cupboard full of them and used them in abundance now I only have washing up liquid and elbow grease in the house all other products are banned <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_exclaim.gif" title=":!:" class="bb_smilies" /> nettlenoo on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38032 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 15:09:21 +0000 nettlenoo 38032@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ hi i come from a family of cleaners their houses are alway imaculate where as im a untidy person everything is clean but im a clutter bunny and im not into a miminal surroundings i like lived in. though i hate to have people turn up unexpected as their version of clean and tidy maybe different to mine. thats merely because my folks are judgemental and if you dont dust everyday your not doing it right. im a housework rebel in that case lol <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_razz.gif" title=":P" class="bb_smilies" /> Anonymous on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38027 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:14:35 +0000 Anonymous 38027@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Joyce Yes this is one for the questionaire. I was not brought up to be a cleaner and all my family are really untidy (sorry folks). But I did not become a contamination OCDer until I had to hold down a job and run a house too. I was constantly tired and could never manage. Incidentally, my house was tidy but my desk at work was a total mess - noticeably the most untidy desk in the whole office. This shows that the experts sometimes misunderstand the complexities of OCD It would be good to hear from men on the forum who have contamination issues whether they are living alone, house husbands, just prefer cleaning or feel that the way their wives clean is not up to their standards. This would be most interesting. My first husband used to make me do the housework and then clean the house all ove again. Perhaps he had OCD too? Love Anne Anonymous on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38025 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:05:46 +0000 Anonymous 38025@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ I have my own views on this which may well conflict with the "experts" - incidentally, an ex is a has-been and a spurt is a drip under pressure. I suspect when one develops OCD the "rituals" develop acoording to the environment and circumsatnces which you are in at the time and which have shaped your thoughts since you were born. Hence women are (or were) more likely to develop cleaning rituals than men because our society, at least in the past, has assigned this role to the female of the species whilst the males have been the "breadwinners". Certainly I believe my obsessive cleaning started because as a highly intelligent young mum straight out of Uni and then full time work found myself suddenly isolated away from family and friends with a tiny fragile life dependent upon me - and little to do with my life except clean the house. My son's father's job relocated and it would have been unthinkable 40 years ago for a woman not to give up her career and follow her husband's job into spendid isolation. Heaven forbid that the husband should have found a different job so that his wife could continue in hers. Now, when male and female roles have largely equalised and in some cases reversed I suspect more men are getting the cleaning habit - methinks this is a research project for someone. truddles on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-38012 Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:09:02 +0000 truddles 38012@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Only because most men don't know where the cleaning products are or how to use them <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_lol.gif" title=":lol:" class="bb_smilies" /> rena on "Are cleaning compulsions more common in women?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/are-cleaning-compulsions-more-common-in-women#post-37994 Wed, 10 Feb 2010 05:17:12 +0000 rena 37994@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ I have read in several places where women tend to suffer more cleaning compulsions that men, I was wondering if you all think this is so and what your input is on the topic.