http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/tags/memory It's Time to Act. OCD Action provides support and information for people affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Mon, 21 May 2012 15:24:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/search.php http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/i-could-either-improve-or-finally-fall-apart-big-time-please-help-me-decide#post-42428 Mon, 21 Jun 2010 22:47:48 +0000 jo 42428@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Hi Nigel,<br /> Several people on this site have read that book and I have had it recommended to me also by people although unable to get a copy currently. I'm sorry you are having a rough time of it at the moment. I can very much empathise with you as I am at a similar cross roads trying to decide the best route to follow. Have you had contact with anyone in a professional capacity that could assess whether you are depressed or not? OCD and depression are partners in crime quite often and if you're feeling down then you will not have as much resilience to fight the OCD so it may be worth you getting this checked out. Also if you got someone in the know on your side then they could guide you through how to tackle the OCD too.<br /> I have what I perceive to be different forms of OCD but my chronic OCD behaviour is a checking one that involves checking doors and windows a certain way at certain times, I know how frustrating this is. My new morphed form of OCD also involves an element of checking, which is also a pain in the butt and having struggled with this probably for a bit too long without support I eventually have become depressed, so I definately would recommend getting some help before your confidence and self esteem takes too much of a bashing cos otherwise you'll have a longer journey back up the ladder.<br /> I have no pearls of wisdom to offer but I have experienced several years where my OCD was manageable and i lived a pretty normal life, so it is possible.<br /> The title of your post was "I could either improve or fall apart big time, please help me decide". I have also been wondering for several months which way my life was going to go, swinging between thinking I can beat the OCD into submission on my own and conversly feeling overwhelmed with it, the image I always get in my mind is like a beetle lying on its back wiggling around unable to get up again, thats quite often how my OCD makes me feel, completely helpless. Sadly an old friend recently decided to end their life and this eventually led me to be thinking about how people reach that point, how things get that bad, could I get to the stage where I went the same way. The conclusion I came to was that I have a choice, I quit, I give up and thats it game over, nothing else in this life, decision made OR I keep going keep fighting and if I die trying then so be it at the least the OCD didn't have the last laugh. I don't know if that makes sense but what I mean is OCD is a bitch,it messes with your head, it messes with your emotions and will try and destroy all that you are as a person if you let it. But we are all people who have intrinsic worth and for me I have to focus on that and tell myself to keep going whatever it takes. I do wobble big style quite frequently, and I hate that when you have a mental health problem that feeling that you become your disorder and lose yourself. But you yourself somewhere deep down knows you are worth the effort, so don't fall apart keep trying, and if you fall over get back up and keep going.<br /> Bit long winded waffle, just want to help. Thats where I'm at, and people on this site are kind and understanding and don't seem to mind that we wobble and worry and get down and help you get back up again. I definately recommend taking steps to take back your life. Go for it.<br /> If this makes no sense I apologise but I hope it shows people care.<br /> Best wishes<br /> Jo </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/i-could-either-improve-or-finally-fall-apart-big-time-please-help-me-decide#post-42426 Mon, 21 Jun 2010 19:53:39 +0000 nigel 42426@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Hi all,</p> <p>I have been a member for a few months now since I recognised that my bizarre actions go hand in hand with OCD. The people on this site have been very supportive otherwise I probably would have had a nervous breakdown by now!</p> <p>I'm in a strange place at the moment where I take good steps forward with your support and then I step one hundred steps back in end up in despair. I understand that I need to face the OCD fears but not obey the rituals. When I think positively for a few moments the pressure lifts and I breath new air but t doesn't last long and fear and doubt creep in and consume me.</p> <p>I have checking OCD where I have to check that I haven't dropped anything constantly over and over again even when I make lists and know I don't have anything. I find it difficult posing things and hoard things incase I accidently lose something (discard something).</p> <p>I'm at a crossroads where I feel I should give it a large push and face the fear and rebel against the rituals however painful it may be. The alternative is to break down and cry and hide away.</p> <p>Have any of you faced this and how did you get on day by day? Please can you help me find the stragth to get better?</p> <p>Has anyone read the book 'Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' by David Veale and Rob Willson? If so, would you reccomend it? Whilst I purchase it is there anything you could quote in the mantime to help me?</p> <p>Thank you</p> <p>Nigel </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/please-help-2#post-41261 Wed, 12 May 2010 12:54:10 +0000 truddles 41261@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Hi Nigel, </p> <p>This has to be brief as got another pointless appointment.</p> <p>To a non OCD sufferer what you're talking about probably seems trivial, but to us OCDers it becomes a major problem to the point where it excludes everything else. I too have the thought did I take so and so with me. And even though the logical side of me knows full well that I didn't have it with me - that bully OCD just wont let go and the thoughts just go round and round to the exclusion of everything else. It's so strong that it convinces you that you did have that item with you and that now you've lost it. To someone that doesn't suffer this way it's difficult to adequately describe the overwhelming fear and anxiety. All the while you're having an argument with the OCD and the more logical you. </p> <p>I was told not to argue with the OCD but just to acknowledge the thought. So I acknowledge the thought and the OCD creeps in and wont let go. So I'm sorry but as my CBT was stopped I can't offer advice as not been told how to deal with just acknowledging and accepting the thought. I can only empathise with you.</p> <p>Now I can't remember if I washed the bathroom floor &lt;img src=&quot;http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif&quot; title=&quot;:-(&quot; class=&quot;bb_smilies&quot; /&gt; </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/please-help-2#post-41253 Wed, 12 May 2010 09:29:42 +0000 nigel 41253@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Hi all,</p> <p>You may have read some of my posts already; I have been up and down with dealing with OCD then getting consumed by it and I think I am currently getting consumed by it. I will explain what I am doing being and if any of you could comment on what you thik to what I am doing that would be appreciated. Please be honest:</p> <p>I go to work and decide not to wear my coat. When I am at work I question whther I brought my coat or not. I know I haven't brought it however as the day goes on the doubt gets bigger until it almost replaces the knowledge that I knew I didn't bring my coat. To relieve the anxiey I ask a colleague if I brought it. This is becoming daily now. I also have to ask before another colleague walks in or it doesn't count. The I have to ask until it feels right which must come across strange.</p> <p>I have started writing down when I take a coat or not. The main two coats I use are at home. I remember thinking yesterday thst I wouldn't take my coat, my coat is at home and I remember shoving things in my trouser pocket because I didn't have a coat. However the doubt is growing whether I did have it yesterday.</p> <p>I have just walked into work and in the car I said over and over again that I didn't have a coat however the doubt about today is starting to creep in although I didn't bring one.</p> <p>Have any of you experienced the same and please can you detaisl your experience?</p> <p>Thank you.</p> <p>Nigel </p>