OCD Action Online Forums » Tag: advice

OCD Action Online Forums » Tag: advice - Recent Posts http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/tags/advice It's Time to Act. OCD Action provides support and information for people affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 04:08:35 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/search.php Londoner on "Fred Penzel Phd - on parents with obsessions about harming their children." http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fred-penzel-phd-on-parents-with-obsessions-about-harming-their-children#post-60784 Tue, 06 Dec 2011 19:36:06 +0000 Londoner 60784@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi BT, thanks for that info. The address for the article about intrusive thoughts / doubts about harming children is as follows: <a href="http://www.ocfoundation.org/EO_IntrusiveKids.aspx" rel="nofollow">http://www.ocfoundation.org/EO_IntrusiveKids.aspx</a> bethany on "Fred Penzel Phd - on parents with obsessions about harming their children." http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fred-penzel-phd-on-parents-with-obsessions-about-harming-their-children#post-60767 Tue, 06 Dec 2011 12:32:57 +0000 bethany 60767@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ P.S. The article "But I Love My Kids" can also be found via that link, but it doesn't appear to be on the list. You need to write "But I Love My Kids" in the title box. Just checked, it is there, it's article number 35. bethany on "Fred Penzel Phd - on parents with obsessions about harming their children." http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fred-penzel-phd-on-parents-with-obsessions-about-harming-their-children#post-60766 Tue, 06 Dec 2011 12:17:07 +0000 bethany 60766@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Fred Penzel's articles are excellent. Many can be found here: <a href="http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=36:ocd-and-related-subjects-by-frederick-penzel-phd&Itemid=64&layout=default" rel="nofollow">http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=36:ocd-and-related-subjects-by-frederick-penzel-phd&Itemid=64&layout=default</a> Londoner on "Fred Penzel Phd - on parents with obsessions about harming their children." http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fred-penzel-phd-on-parents-with-obsessions-about-harming-their-children#post-60758 Tue, 06 Dec 2011 08:01:02 +0000 Londoner 60758@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi all, here is another very detailed article by Fred Penzel, Phd. This one is about how he treats OCD sufferers who have obsessions relating to harming, killing, or abusing their children. For anyone who has ever experienced these types of intrusive thoughts and doubts, this very detailed article might be of help. <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_neutral.gif" title=":|" class="bb_smilies" /> Cut and paste the line below to go to the article on Fred Penzel's website: Intrusive Thoughts: Parents Who Think About Harming Their Children Cuthbert ffoliott on "finding useful information" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/finding-useful-information#post-57621 Sun, 04 Sep 2011 13:43:18 +0000 Cuthbert ffoliott 57621@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi ally82 - you might want to pay a visit to my weblog: <a href="http://www.ocdinformation.wordpress.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.ocdinformation.wordpress.com</a> I am sorry that there's been a gap in posting there, due to being busy otherwise. But there'll be scientific details on there soon, some already are. I want to introduce more structure also. If you want a readable article from Scientific American in PDF form, just mail to: <a href="mailto:cuthbert.ffoliott@gmail.com">cuthbert.ffoliott@gmail.com</a>, and I'll send it to you. Cheers, Cuthbert. genlad on "finding useful information" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/finding-useful-information#post-57619 Sun, 04 Sep 2011 13:31:27 +0000 genlad 57619@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Any one know of any websites that have information on how the ocd brain works? Anonymous on "Hello im new :)" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/hello-im-new-2#post-48656 Fri, 31 Dec 2010 17:30:24 +0000 Anonymous 48656@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi, welcome! Just need to echo the seek your doctor's advice thing really. <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_razz.gif" title=":P" class="bb_smilies" /> I hope you find some help and relief. Wombat140 on "Hello im new :)" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/hello-im-new-2#post-48654 Fri, 31 Dec 2010 17:26:45 +0000 Wombat140 48654@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ If the thoughts are bothering you then, regardless of whether they officially count as OCD, you might find a CBT self-help book handy for learning how to deal with them. There's a list of good ones here<a href="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/support-info/resources/books/">http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/support-info/resources/books/</a> Remember that it's really a psychologist's job to assess for OCD. If your GP says he/she doesn't think it's OCD, it might be worth asking to be referred to a psychologist anyway. GPs have been known to get it completely wrong. And welcome to the forum. Any time you want advice, don't hesitate to ask. All the best, Wombat140 Truddles on "Hello im new :)" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/hello-im-new-2#post-48610 Thu, 30 Dec 2010 19:29:01 +0000 Truddles 48610@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Hazel, Welcome to the forum <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_smile.gif" title=":-)" class="bb_smilies" /> Because OCD is such a complex condition the only sure way to get an accurate diagnosis is to go to your GP and ask to be assessed. This way not only will you be able to get a diagnosis but you will then be able to access treatment. You can access more information on OCD here <a href="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/support-info/resources/" rel="nofollow">http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/support-info/resources/</a> (Well it's only taken me a year to work out how to direct people to the Resource Centre without having to write all the directions down <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_rolleyes.gif" title=":roll:" class="bb_smilies" /> <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_lol.gif" title=":lol:" class="bb_smilies" /> ) We're a friendly forum and do our best to help and support each other. Best wishes Trudy Nimrod on "Hello im new :)" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/hello-im-new-2#post-48594 Thu, 30 Dec 2010 10:29:26 +0000 Nimrod 48594@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hello Hazel, Welcome to the forum. This a good place to contact people with OCD and to discuss it. OCD can take various forms and affect people in many different ways and consequently it can be very hard to diagnose. The best thing to do at present is to see your doctor and tell him/her what you have said here to find out if it is OCD or something else. OCD is an anxiety disorder and partly because of this and how anxiety can affect us all, as mentioned, it can be difficult to diagnose. The good news is that there is a lot that can be done to help and the earlier you see a doctor the better. Please do let us know how you get on. Best wishes, Caps hazela on "Hello im new :)" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/hello-im-new-2#post-48593 Thu, 30 Dec 2010 09:01:38 +0000 hazela 48593@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hello everyone, im Hazel and im new to this site, i joined because i have a feeling i may have slight OCD so just want to find some more information out, however i have not seen a doctor yet cos i don't know whether i should. I have done some of the mini test's online and it always comes out at a mark of 18 (which means OCD is likely). I am very much a worrier, i worry about my boyfriend who i live with and have been with for almost 2 years leaving me even though i know deep down he is not going to and he is not being un-faithful but i cannot help the thoughts about him leaving or being unfaithful out of my head, i can subdue them and ignore them sometimes but not all the time, i also have intrusive thoughts about me doing something one day that i will majorly regret and it rips me apart indside as i am not suppose to think of those things cos i know i won't do them but they come in and i cannot get rid of them, i have thoughts about my mum or dad dying and wondering how i would cope without them :(. These are just a few of the problems and at least one of them thoughts crosses my head daily however i can and do try to ignore them but it is so difficult and sometimes i just have a day where i struggle to concentrate cos of them and it makes me very tired. I would love it if i could talk to other people about these and see what advice i can get and where i should go and what i should do. On a more positive note here is a bit about me - Im a very positive person in general, very kind and very friendly. I love meeting new people, shopping, going out for cocktails, make-up, hair and beauty :-). I work very hard i am currently studying travel and tourism at university at HND level and im in my final semester of my final year and looking forward to starting to work full time and earning some money! Hazel x Anonymous on "OCPD Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/ocpd-obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder-1#post-45832 Mon, 13 Sep 2010 14:30:27 +0000 Anonymous 45832@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Peter? Where? <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_eek.gif" title="8O" class="bb_smilies" /> And I started it, I clicked on a taggy thing cos I saw 'OCPD' and I dunno what that is and now I'm all confuzled. <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif" title=":(" class="bb_smilies" /> jo on "OCPD Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/ocpd-obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder-1#post-45808 Sun, 12 Sep 2010 23:08:33 +0000 jo 45808@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ oops sorry didn't look at the date on the original thread <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_redface.gif" title=":oops:" class="bb_smilies" /> was answering peter................time for bed me thinks Anonymous on "OCPD Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/ocpd-obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder-1#post-45806 Sun, 12 Sep 2010 22:37:57 +0000 Anonymous 45806@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ WTF? Jo, what's going on.....? Right, that is the last time I click on the taggy thingys!!! <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_lol.gif" title=":lol:" class="bb_smilies" /> jo on "OCPD Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/ocpd-obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder-1#post-45803 Sun, 12 Sep 2010 22:34:11 +0000 jo 45803@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ there is a previous thread on this subject you could try looking for it under forum topic. best wishes Anonymous on "OCPD Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/ocpd-obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder-1#post-45800 Sun, 12 Sep 2010 22:17:37 +0000 Anonymous 45800@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ What's that? <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_eek.gif" title="8O" class="bb_smilies" /> lah71 on "Ain't it Ironic?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/aint-it-ironic#post-45109 Sun, 29 Aug 2010 18:51:42 +0000 lah71 45109@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ It's so true Jess. I often wonder why we all have different ideas of what's ok. I have many OCD contradictions which I find strange but I just do them. When my husband asks me why I do certain things and not others I can't answer him. The one time I don't answer him back!!! <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_lol.gif" title=":lol:" class="bb_smilies" /> I sometimes think that by comforting someone else it makes me feel I've done a good thing and counteracts all the bad things OCD makes me feel. Does that make sense?! sarah81 on "Ain't it Ironic?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/aint-it-ironic#post-45104 Sun, 29 Aug 2010 18:20:50 +0000 sarah81 45104@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ I think that the advice from other people with OCD is really helpful, more helpful perhaps than advice from people that do not have OCD. Then I at least feel that the advice is coming from someone who fully understands my perspective. It's odd how the fears focus on certain things more than others. There are so many people who refuse to fly on airplanes, yet very few who cannot ride in a regular car. Yet how many people die in traffic accidents yearly? Certainly more than in plane crashes... Cuthbert ffoliott on "Ain't it Ironic?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/aint-it-ironic#post-45005 Sun, 29 Aug 2010 08:57:15 +0000 Cuthbert ffoliott 45005@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ I think we simply must accept those contradictions; they're proof that we know the irrationality of our OCD thoughts and behaviour. When you give advice to others, you are also saying to yourself: sad that I myself can't apply this... which to this writer is a strong confirmation that OCD for most of us is not the same as our personality, it's an unwanted force that plagues us. I, as a checker, used to control faucets endlessly to make sure that they weren't running when I left the house. It took so much time... ...and then I unlocked my bike outside and rode to town, to do some shopping. Now, a dripping faucet is surely not dangerous or life-threatening. But I could spend half an hour to make sure about only these things (there were so many others to control). Cycling to town, I encountered literally a dozen traffic lights and dangerous spots on the way there. And what do you think? I barely checked the lights (well, I did not do anything dangerous, but just glimpsed at them). I trusted my ears when I passed a crossroads where cars might suddenly turn around the corner. So my going to town lasted about 5 minutes. Lesson: these two different checking routines (faucets, traffic signs) were so utterly, utterly disproportional to each other, that even now, writing this down, my jaw threatens to drop... <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_smile.gif" title=":-)" class="bb_smilies" /> stevieb on "Ain't it Ironic?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/aint-it-ironic#post-45001 Sat, 28 Aug 2010 23:39:02 +0000 stevieb 45001@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ I think this may be because we find it easier to be on the outside, and looking in at someone else's problem. Maybe this gives us a clearer perspective of that person's situation. But when we're the ones who are suffering with the same problem, we panic and become stuck, or we lose sight of the reality of our situation, believing that we don't need to follow the same advice we may have given to someone else before; because our situation is different, when in fact it isn't. We've all heard of the saying; 'can't see the woods for the trees.' There's truth in that, because we often can't. But it can also work the other way around, where it isn't the woods we're supposed to be looking at, only what's staring us in the face. Yet we don't see that.Or we simply deny it if we do. Jess's point is a good one; its easy to hand out advice to someone else, on how to deal with a matter, because its not us who has that problem, therefore we don't need to take the action. But if that same situation occurs to us, then we dohave to take that action. But we don't, because we're too afraid. This can then come back to what I said earlier about the denial. And yet none of the above necessarily relate to OCD fears. Non-sufferers do the same, but for us lot there are so many more, and its much harder for us to deal with. But have any of you ever given advice to someone, then had OCD kick in and find a serious, but irrational danger with that advice, so we've gone back to the same person, and 'undone' our earlier advice? So here's another strange OCD contradiction which I've experienced myself. Why do I wash my hands before handling food to cook in my kitchen, when I've just been eating a packet of crisps without any fear of my hands being dirty in the first place? And is it really the world which is funny, or just those who inhabit it? <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_lol.gif" title=":lol:" class="bb_smilies" /> Stevie Truddles on "Ain't it Ironic?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/aint-it-ironic#post-44987 Sat, 28 Aug 2010 22:01:24 +0000 Truddles 44987@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Jess, Such words of wisdom <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_smile.gif" title=":-)" class="bb_smilies" /> My Consultant was talking about this the other week. He said that it was human nature, that it was so easy to give advice to others yet not so easy to act on your own advice. That we could often see clearly how to solve other people's problems and yet not be able to solve your own even if the problems are identical. OCD is full of contradictions, for instance when packing the shopping at the till all the hand wash, loo rolls, tissues, shampoo etc has to be put in carrier bags and the handles tied and yet the food just gets slung into the shopping bag. You'd think it would be the other way round wouldn't you? Know what you mean about Mckenzie I have the same with the cat and yet if it were my own . . . .urrrrgh <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif" title=":(" class="bb_smilies" /> <blockquote>We give people all this advice, yet we don't follow it ourselves. We don't mind things that others (without OCD) DO mind, yet we mind things that they don't.</blockquote> It is a funny old world! Anonymous on "Ain't it Ironic?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/aint-it-ironic#post-44927 Sat, 28 Aug 2010 15:50:30 +0000 Anonymous 44927@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ I find it extremely ironic that we offer advice to people on here and we don't take our own advice in real life. It goes to show that we know the solution, we're just perhaps slightly afraid of putting it into action, or maybe we fail to see the point if it's for ourselves. I for one often suprise myself on here when I offer solutions to peoples OCD-Related Problems, which may even be a slight solution to mine sometimes. It's just.... ironic. Ironic and hard to explain, but we do it. We give advice to help others when by following our own advice our quality of lives may improve. Like when you tell somebody to look on the bright side, do you yourself EVER do that? Another ironc thing, or maybe this is just a random odd thing, with OCD we all have different ideas of whats okay and what isn't. For example, if I see a picture of a bloke on the internet, that's it, compulsion time and if I acidently touch a picture!! Well, all h**l breaks loose then! But when something like, for example, McKenzie wipes her snot on me or hands me one of her mankiest toys, I don't mind. I'm perfectly fine with it. For example, a few miutes ago she dripped on my hand. I'm not bothered at all. Not to be gross, but I haven't even washed my hands becase it's puppy. It's fine if it's puppy! It's just sorta funny (not in a ha ha way) to think about all these odd little things to do with our OCD. I mean I don't mind if I get puppy snot on me, but if it's like, my own snot then I have to throughly wash my hands. It's just.... strange. Very strange. We give people all this advice, yet we don't follow it ourselves. We don't mind things that others (without OCD) DO mind, yet we mind things that they don't. Funny old world! <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_lol.gif" title=":lol:" class="bb_smilies" /> <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_eek.gif" title="8O" class="bb_smilies" /> <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_cry.gif" title=":cry:" class="bb_smilies" /> <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_confused.gif" title=":?" class="bb_smilies" /> Truddles on "Please tell me what you think!!!" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/please-tell-me-what-you-think#post-43903 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 20:35:29 +0000 Truddles 43903@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Nigel, The more you check the more the OCD will want you to check, the more you seek reassurance the more reassurance the OCD will want. Amy's suggestions should help to reduce the anxiety. Amz on "Please tell me what you think!!!" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/please-tell-me-what-you-think#post-43884 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 17:43:06 +0000 Amz 43884@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Its called obsession the checking is the compulsion hence the disorder! :idea:Tips, please note I really know how hard this is: 1. Do something else to take your mind off it. Dont get me wrong it wont completley but hopefully it will give you some distraction and something to do. Even though your are anxious and worrying, you can be doing something constructive with that time. 2. If you cant let it go and 100% need to check again, then tell yourself that you will check it in a certain amount of time e.g. 3hrs. This helps you keep slight control of the OCD rather than it completely taking over. 3.Remember what you are feeling is anxiety and it is a feeling an emotion and it cant hurt you! It is uncomfortable but it isnt life threatening and you can stand it! The longer you feel anxious about something the less severe the anxiety will be. My therapist puts me in situation that make me anxious to make me more comfortable being uncomfortable if that makes sense. the more time that passes the less anxious you are. For example I get the urge to wash my hands, initially I would just get up and do it, but then I would obsess that I hadnt done it right and did it again and again..... I then started to think right I need to wash my hands but I will do it in half and hour. Anxiety drops slightly during this half and hour. The I extended the period I waited e.g. I will wash in an hour. Before I knew it I couldnt even remember why I needed to wash my hands. When you get an urge to check right down on a scale of 1-10 how anxious you feel, then right this again in half an hour then an hour. Just to see if it works even a little. obviously during this test dont carry out your compulsion to check. Hope this helps a little. Amy <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_biggrin.gif" title=":D" class="bb_smilies" /> helenblackwell on "Victory to despair; please I need some advice!" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/victory-to-despair-please-i-need-some-advice#post-43881 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:52:45 +0000 helenblackwell 43881@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Well I have two that are like my bible. One is called the imp of the mind and the second is quite a large orange book called overcoming OCD I will go check the authors and let you know them nigel on "Victory to despair; please I need some advice!" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/victory-to-despair-please-i-need-some-advice#post-43880 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:32:41 +0000 nigel 43880@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi HB, I would really like to read them. What do you reccomend? Thanks Nigel helenblackwell on "Victory to despair; please I need some advice!" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/victory-to-despair-please-i-need-some-advice#post-43879 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:15:18 +0000 helenblackwell 43879@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Although you have checked all you can there is always a little pain in the arse voice that doubts things but what I had to do was learn to accept my gut feeling not that voice. I know how hard it is when a thought is just constantly swirling around in your mind you just struggle to cope with anything else. Have you read any self help books or anything? I find them amazingly helpful. Hb nigel on "Please tell me what you think!!!" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/please-tell-me-what-you-think#post-43878 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:08:54 +0000 nigel 43878@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi all! I've just passed a envelope to my brother. It has been sat on the shelf for a few days because I didn't want to feel like I had left something stuck to it when I handed it over. Everyday I kept thinking about it so I gave it to him today but this is how I did it: I picked it up with two fingers stood for about 5 minutes looking at it from all angles. I checked I didn't have anything on me prior to this. I turned the light on and put the envelope on the floor and looked around it. Then I shook it and put it on the table downstairs on its side. I walked around it examining both sides without touching it. My brother picked it up. I got him to turn it over a few times and I looked across to chek nothing was there. My sister in law then picked it up. I pretended to want the address off the envelope so I looked at it again whilst she was holding it. She then put it on the table with her other letter and handbag before taking it away with her. I did all this and I want to check again. Why do I want to check again. I can't have left something on it still can I? Why do I think I may have? Why is it difficult to think about anything else? Thanks Nigel nigel on "Victory to despair; please I need some advice!" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/victory-to-despair-please-i-need-some-advice#post-43877 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:06:22 +0000 nigel 43877@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi HB, No he hasn't told them! I was gonna tell my family for the reasons you say but when I am thinking more clearly I think of the things that they can't handle so I don't know what to do! I think I'll try the three steps and see what happens! I've just passed a envelope to my brother. It has been sat on the shelf for a few days because I didn't want to feel like I had left something stuck to it when I handed it over. Everyday I kept thinking about it so I gave it to him today but this is how I did it: I picked it up with two fingers stood for about 5 minutes looking at it from all angles. I checked I didn't have anything on me prior to this. I turned the light on and put the envelope on the floor and looked around it. Then I shook it and put it on the table downstairs on its side. I walked around it examining both sides without touching it. My brother picked it up. I got him to turn it over a few times and I looked across to chek nothing was there. My sister in law then picked it up. I pretended to want the address off the envelope so I looked at it again whilst she was holding it. She then put it on the table with her other letter and handbag before taking it away with her. I did all this and I want to check again. Why do I want to check again. I can't have left something on it still can I? Why do I think I may have? Why is it difficult to think about anything else? Thanks Nigel Nigel helenblackwell on "Victory to despair; please I need some advice!" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/victory-to-despair-please-i-need-some-advice#post-43876 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 14:00:51 +0000 helenblackwell 43876@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi! That sounds like good steps to take. I completly understand the worry about telling your family as I felt the same but they can really suprise you. My mum is my rock and really helps. Had your friend told their parents? Hb