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OCD Action Online Forums » Forum: - Recent Posts http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/forum/ It's Time to Act. OCD Action provides support and information for people affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:33:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/search.php Tricia on "new today" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/new-today#post-43302 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:59:10 +0000 Tricia 43302@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Dear Catherine, Remember that OCD is also a biological disorder, still far removed from the devil, I agree. Our thoughts can be so awful and appear so evil and twisted that anyone with a belief in the devil can easily be brainwashed into that way of thinking. I'm not sure that ignorance or pride are necessarily to blame. I have a friend who has recently declared that even Jesus wouldn't want anything to do with her. She has angered a mutual friend (who is Catholic) but she hasn’t angered me. In fact, her statement reduced me to tears. This lady is just so depressed and utterly despondent, because of her OCD, she is at rock bottom and even believes that God has given up on her. It will take a great deal of support and help for her to view things differently. I think it’s impossible for a person who has not been subjected to intrusive thoughts to begin to imagine what damage they do to a person’s mind and self-esteem. They can literally be present constantly. For anyone with a religious belief, this can reinforce the conviction that he or she is either being punished by God or worse… It may well not be up to us to decide what we deserve. Can you not, therefore, appreciate when we are being tormented by our thoughts, it is easy to believe this is what we DO deserve. This is the downside of religion for some of us with OCD, because no-one deserves this hell, but the obsessions can convince us otherwise. Your husband does desperately need help. Did you read my other message? Could you persuade him to seek help from your church? Many priests and ministers have helped OCD sufferers (and were doing so long before there were psychiatrists!). I believe a psychologist could also help him, but I know he is refusing this. Best wishes, Tricia. stuocd on "Intrusive Sexual Thoughts and False Memories" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/intrusive-sexual-thoughts-and-false-memories/page/5#post-43301 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:15:56 +0000 stuocd 43301@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ hi Tricia yer your right....... but i am going to try to relabel it all today and see how i get on. I dont want to give out wrong information here so thanks but i am going to try this today and see how goes... <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_cool.gif" title="8)" class="bb_smilies" /> Tricia on "The harder i try the worse i get" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/the-harder-i-try-the-worse-i-get#post-43300 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:13:18 +0000 Tricia 43300@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Pleased to hear that!! xx Tricia on "Intrusive Sexual Thoughts and False Memories" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/intrusive-sexual-thoughts-and-false-memories/page/5#post-43299 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:06:41 +0000 Tricia 43299@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Stu and everyone, re-labelling these thoughts as OCD is good, but please don’t anyone assume they don’t have OCD if the technique fails to help them! If it were that easy we would all be fine. The crafty ****** is smart and doesn’t necessarily let go that easily! By the way, I should point out that not all experts agree with re-labelling, at least not when an intrusive thought actually strikes. That’s regarded as reassurance and believed to reinforce the fear. It’s true other experts disagree, so it’s far from clear-cut! Tricia x stuocd on "The harder i try the worse i get" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/the-harder-i-try-the-worse-i-get#post-43298 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:00:12 +0000 stuocd 43298@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Tric thanks again x yes ok gonna take them lol your right <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_wink.gif" title=":wink:" class="bb_smilies" /> ( i know your right and get the diabetic thing) today i am going to call it OCD i will try this alllll day and let you know how i get on this eve x thank you again stu stuocd on "Intrusive Sexual Thoughts and False Memories" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/intrusive-sexual-thoughts-and-false-memories/page/5#post-43297 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:57:17 +0000 stuocd 43297@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Ibelieve I to have exactly the same for of ocd and it horrible...... i read thatonce you were able to label it as OCD and i went away. I am trying this again as it started to work for me, but i gave in but your post has inspired me again. shift the blame to ocd, we dont want these thoughts, not our fault something in the brain is not passing on messages. (o my ocd now doubting me) it is ocd xx Tricia on "The harder i try the worse i get" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/the-harder-i-try-the-worse-i-get#post-43296 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:56:32 +0000 Tricia 43296@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Stu, I believe Seroxat leaves the body very quickly (unlike Prozac) so you probably are reacting to that. There’s nothing wrong with taking medication long term. Fred Toates is a psychologist and he states in his book that he takes medication. A diabetic would not struggle to be ‘normal’ and stop their insulin. Many psychiatrists view an SSRI in the same light. Waking can be one of the worst times. You sound a bit brighter now. Please take your Seroxat today! If you do decide to come off it, do it with guidance. Seroxat does seem to have worse effects than some of the other SSRIs if it’s stopped suddenly (though all should be reduced slowly). Tricia x P.S. Not sure about the anger feeding it, but definitely don't be angry with yourself! stuocd on "SO WORRIED!!!" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/so-worried#post-43295 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:46:06 +0000 stuocd 43295@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ HI Robbiebob Nice to meet you, glad you had a great time away. I guess we can all learn from this. You had massive ocd fears etc, worry etc before you went away, went on hols, found out it not that bad intact you really enjoyed it. <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_lol.gif" title=":lol:" class="bb_smilies" /> Tricia on "Intrusive Sexual Thoughts and False Memories" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/intrusive-sexual-thoughts-and-false-memories/page/5#post-43294 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:44:21 +0000 Tricia 43294@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Dear Fearisbeatable (I wish you’d give me some tips on how to live up to your name!). Firstly, I have to comment on your initial paragraph. None of us truly knows the extent of another’s suffering due to their OCD, or the troubles they have experienced in childhood and beyond. One dear friend of mine, who writes on this forum and has paedophilia fears, was repeatedly raped at knifepoint by her step-father. Many people have suffered terrible bullying throughout their early years etc. This is likely to have had an impact on their OCD. Many here have very complex issues which make their OCD hard to treat. Please don’t think I am not sympathetic towards you, because you have endured an awful time and I was deeply moved by your message. I’m just saying none of us should assume we are harder to treat than another, for whatever reason. I have been following your messages, and you seem very knowledgeable about OCD. What help are you receiving at the moment (or in the past)? I sent you a brief PM, but have been meaning to write to you here, I was just unsure how to word my reply, because some of the things you said seemed a little ambiguous. You have now explained your situation and I do understand. Have you confided in your fiancée? You know the best way to treat this obsession. It may not work for you, but it’s likely it will. By the way, I do wonder if masturbation is the best kind of distraction. What are the stories that are tearing you apart? Although many OCD experts just treat the here and now, it’s obvious that you do need to discuss your past and receive help in dealing with it. I believe Lee Baer does stress this in his book. Have you attempted this at all? Please don’t think I am upset with you, because of my initial remarks. I am very pleased you have joined us and I hope you will make friends who can support you with this terrible condition. Tricia x stuocd on "new today" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/new-today#post-43293 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:39:49 +0000 stuocd 43293@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Resentment Yes a big part of it is male pride, we don't want to admit that we have mucked things up, gone wrong in life or had bad thoughts. I think i can see past this and one of the biggest relief's is acceptance. Sayin to yourself "ok this is ocd im have intrusive thoughts due to ocd, it not me it my ocd". When i did do this it shifts the blame from oneself to the ocd and allows you to step out of the loop. If we had a broken leg im sure your husband would not put this down to Jesus and faith he would say i have a broken leg. He needs to do the same with his ocd. It very hard to do and indeed the devilish ocd will always fight with you, not letting you belief that it is his fault (ocd) this is when you have to keep fighting saying "yes it is ocd, your the reson for my intrusive thoughts, a brain short circuit" Keep this in mind and the devil will lose his grip over you Im not religious but can see the parallels between (the person, good and pure) versus the demon OCD. An alcoholic will not get better until they say "i am an alcoholic, i have a brain that likes to indulge to access" when they do that they are accepting and seeing it not their fault. stuocd on "The harder i try the worse i get" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/the-harder-i-try-the-worse-i-get#post-43292 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:26:33 +0000 stuocd 43292@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Tricia x yes 40mg Seroxat but not taking for 3 days, guess that not helping (just wanted to be normal without meds) i guess acceptance is the best strategy i know. Posted almost as soon as i woke up as this bad time for me when i wake x I think i am so mad with my ocd that i want to fight it but maybe getting angry with it feeds it? catch 22 xx Tricia on "The harder i try the worse i get" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/the-harder-i-try-the-worse-i-get#post-43291 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:23:17 +0000 Tricia 43291@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Dear Stu, When my OCD is really bad, I haven’t found anything that will help. It’s why some of us have resorted to giving in to part of our OCD. It’s not what the experts recommend, but they aren’t in our shoes! However, we are not all the same, there may be something that will help you. Exercise helps many, and it might improve your sleep. Have you ever tried meditation? It works for me when the stress isn’t over the top. Music also helps, but again, not when I am extremely anxious or experiencing awful intrusive thoughts. In fact, I had one of my worst experiences (OCD-wise) at a concert where the most relaxing, beautiful music was being played. I am really sorry you are suffering like this at the moment. Are you taking any medication? Tricia x stuocd on "The harder i try the worse i get" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/the-harder-i-try-the-worse-i-get#post-43290 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:12:00 +0000 stuocd 43290@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ HI all probably just writing this as feel very low at the moment. The more i try to get better the worse my ocd becomes i am getting triggers constantly.... very tired now. Has anyone got any coping methods (short term instant) when ocd gets really bad? I leave it, face it, agree with it but yet it still wont go <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif" title=":(" class="bb_smilies" /> sleeping is getting really bad,,, fearisbeatable on "Intrusive Sexual Thoughts and False Memories" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/intrusive-sexual-thoughts-and-false-memories/page/5#post-43289 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:57:28 +0000 fearisbeatable 43289@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ I am a chaotic mind, I don't know that I am the worst one with OCD here, But I feel that mines is harder to deal with than all of yours. The reason is because of my own childhood traumas that are the cause of my distress. You see when I was very young, I was accused of trying to kill a baby, because I tired to feed him milk from a bottle, and the Mother who had almost lost her child in childbirth reacted on 4 year old me by calling me an evil sick child killer. yet I only wanted to help. Sadly this led to her hating me, and a family fudge between her and my Ill mother (has M.E) and she would be forever bullying me and my mom and blaming me for things i never done (Eg. Her son knelt on a little paint that has spilled around my back, when he was 8 years old, his mother ran over screaming that I had tied him up and covered him head to toe in paint, while holding the trousers that showed only a tiny speck of paint) As my mother was ill she could not defend me, and so it wasn't long before anyone who did anything would blame me to get themselves out of trouble, and even if I had been in all day and my mother knew it she would tell the parents "Its ok I will deal with him" to avoid a confrontation, which gave the parents the idea i was an evil kid, and the kids a fall guy. Even when I tired to help "one kid fell and started crying, I ran out to help him, his mom ran to my door screaming that I had pushed him" another time "A kid fell of his bike, I ran to see if he was ok, his sister said to him (tell mom he pushed you, I want to see him get screamed at again) and laughed, he told his mom, his mom not only went insane on me, but tired to kill my pet hamster that I had in the garden in a hamster ball by trying to throw it down the sewer drain". In both these occasions my mom knew I had done no wrong, but she never defended me. this led to my isolation, and the hate around me spread into my school, nobody believed me, I remember my teacher saying I was in the park playing and skipping school, when infact I had only put my foot on the slide step to tie my shoe, and was late because my mom needed me to help her into the bathroom and out again. I got so scared that I isolated myself, going out as little as possible, eventually I discovered porn, and its effect to make the fear go away. however at the time I found porn I myself was only 11 years old, and I had no idea what a pedo was, so I looked for people my own age, not knowing what this was. My father went online and the pictures popped up, he went insane on me, calling me a pedo, saying he will be put in jail because of me, that I was sick, evil, that I will be put in jail because of it. yet I had no idea at the time what it was, and I was traumatized by his reaction. I got so afraid that I would go to jail that I went online and read stories to see what a pedo was. I found the asstr, and it has stories, and the first thing I read was that the stories were legal, so I was able to gain the information I needed knowing I may find some answer to make the fear go away. I read many stories, and I was so horrified by it that I thought even my own childhood experiments made me one, I was only 11 years old at the time. I realized that I wasn't going to get the answer I was seeking, which was a reason why these people were the way they were, and because I thought myself one, a way to stop it. So I replaced the porn with anime, that was it was less real, however I started to worry that even anime made there pictures look iffy. After a while of anime, I started doing other things, dressing up in womans clothing, and pictured myself the woman, I even did anal experiments, but one day I took some photos of myself, forgot and my father found them, it happened again, I was called sick, evil, and told he was about to give the camera to a friend and he would have been jailed because of what I did, if he had not looked first. I was mortified, My father was a homophobe, and he saw these pictures of me. I decided to do my experiments outside in the hills, where that could not happen. I filled a bag up with womans clothing and went up the hill, I did my gay experiments there, far from my father. However one day there was a fire in the hills, they found the bag, it was the bag we went to Australia with and it had our postcode on it, and inside the side unbeknownst to me was a babys sock. So they thought a child had been murdered, and the next thing I know the police, Cid, and the MID are at my door, wanting to talk to my father, I saw the bag and was terefied, and they found out that I was up the hills doing gay experimentation, the just laughed, were glad it was not a murder, and left. Now i was even more traumatized, at this point I was 14 years old, and I was afraid of everything, I hated myself, I just wanted to lock myself away in a world of porn so I never had to think. if things got to hard I would run for porn or masturbation. Then I realized that when I was experimenting anally, I used a crucifix, I went cold, I could not forgive myself, for years I tormented myself with the idea I was going to hell for all that bad I had done, Jesus would never forgive me. my mother and father broke up, my grandfather died, I was getting bullyed all the time, my gran scared the life out of me telling me God was an evil punnisher, my mother ended up in hospital almost dieing with lack of food. I made walls and hid in them. one day I spoke with someone online, which got me into roleplay, it was a grate way to get away, but it was all going to go sour, so I turned from that and tired another chat, this went on and I got into some strange cyber like bdsm. after a time though I started to hate it, I tired to stop and I was unable too because when something scared me that was the only way to quiet my OCD down. we can all have thoughts that horrify us, but we can talk to each other about it, I used to think I was really evil because I was having intrusive thoughts with animals, I had no idea why, it scared the life out of me. when I seeked help and told other people they told me I was a sex addict, even though I never did or would do any of my thoughts, but I believed them, I called myself an addict, found help and only got worse, because I was not an addict, My ocd was used against me when I was told my thoughts were proof I was just like those who had done such things, and that was how they started. this caused me grate fear and distress. Then I was told grate fear and distress was another sign that I was one of them. there I was in fear and panic, my world crumbling around me, all my hope falling away, I truly believed I was one of them, and then I found out other people with OCD suffer these thoughts, and I realized addicts use our OCD as there excuse, and as long as they can convince us we have what they have, they can continue to use our condition to there benefit, why should I be surprised that such people pray on the vulnerable and weak minded? its who they are after all. So I gave up my only way of numbing out my ocd, and when I thought my fiancee was pregnant, my fear moved to the fear of the child, suddenly I couldn't look at any child without freaking out, and all the storys that I read in my past returned to haunt me. I did exactly what I should not have done because as Phillipson said not to (((ER." The tremendous effort one puts into escaping the unwanted thoughts or preventing their recurrence (e.g. hiding knives), in effect, reinforces its importance to the nonconscious brain and, thereby, feeds the vicious cycle.))) Because I saw a kid, I freaked out, I let my mind wander to face it, my thoughts got worse, I was horrified at my bodys sensations, I had to get away, I had given up porn, what could I do, I wanted to run. I went to the toilet to use my old relief, masturbation, but as I started someone knocked on my door, my mind filled with horror, I believed this proved all my fears, I saw those pictures in my mind, and was so evil I tired to masturbate, however I was rather trying to masturbate to get rid of the images in my mind, but obviously this backfired big time. I know I am disgusted, but sometimes I don't know how disgusted, I wish we had scales to measure our disgust so we can know that we are not one of them. I did not want to post up my life story here, but I feel if I don't, I will always let my past win, do I disgust any of you as much as I disgust myself, because I would rather cut off my penis that ever do such vile things, but I have read storys, and they are what are tearing me apart. <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif" title=":(" class="bb_smilies" /> robbiebob on "SO WORRIED!!!" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/so-worried#post-43288 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:44:47 +0000 robbiebob 43288@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Well!!!!!! Firstly THANKYOU for the messages of support, it just shows how great this site is for support... Secondly.... I went away and had a great time with the family!! 80) Thanks again peeps!! Nightbird on "Confused if I should tell doctor or not?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/confused-if-i-should-tell-doctor-or-not#post-43287 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:31:12 +0000 Nightbird 43287@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ I worried about that myself Bizarre - I understand your concerns, but in the end you're seeking help to keep you going with work and with life: to make these things better and to free up the headspace we waste ruminating. I think it gets to a point sometimes where that need for support outweighs these possible problems. So many people suffer mental health issues of one kind or another these days. Many people need some meds for a time to support them through a tricky patch - some therapy or both. Lots of people have to take time out for these things. If you are still working and its not affected by your disorder and you aren't having loads of time off for it that would seem to be the main thing. That's all they're really worried about - right? I don't want to condone witholding info as a good idea, but it seems with most pre work OH questionaires they only investigate if you suggest there is something for them to investigate. I blame the ruthlessness of Capitalism for the whole OH system!!!!! Nightbird on "FEAR" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fear-1#post-43286 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:20:34 +0000 Nightbird 43286@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Bambi - OCD is often a disease of doubt of one kind or another....am I sure it wasn't, am I sure I didn't, am I sure I did..... I read a really interesting paper once by a Dr whose research centred on OCD where it was labelled a disease of doubt. His hypothesis was that people like us don't like to live with uncertainty, it makes us anxious so we try to guard against it. But, we try to get rid of every little chink of doubt and that's where we go off kilter. I try to remind myself of one of the mantra's he had for a form of OCD I have at the moment - health checking. That in the question lies the answer. If we knew it for real we would have no doubt... i.e. when the crisis really comes we know it and we respond to it, we don't have to ruminate over it for hours and hours. I've found it helpful to think of that sometimes. Its not a miracle cure but it can be helpful for some compulsions I think. It is a horrible, distressing and disruptive thing, but these forums really are reassuring and show we are not alone. Truddles on "Modelling (modeling) or re-focussing - which works best for you?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/modelling-modeling-or-re-focussing-which-works-best-for-you#post-43285 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 16:24:38 +0000 Truddles 43285@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ My sincere apologies for the serious typo errors in my last two posts. I've not got used to the new medication to control my blood sugar and so didn't realise that my blood sugar was quite so low <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif" title=":(" class="bb_smilies" /> Sorry to have added to the confusion <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_confused.gif" title=":?" class="bb_smilies" /> Anyway what I meant to say in my first post was the following: This started off as a very confused thread with statements that didn’t reflect the meaning of either refocusing or distraction. So a big thanks to both Andrea and Tricia for helping to clarify the meanings of not only refocusing and modelling but also of distraction. Not only that but they also cited examples of all three. Merlin21 on "FEAR" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fear-1#post-43284 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:06:31 +0000 Merlin21 43284@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Bambi, Unfortunately this is quite a common thing for me in my job. I work for a lighting and audio company looking after different projects, part of my job involves prepping kit to be sent out, unfortunately this involves putting plugs on things. Once I have wired up an item, and put the plug shell back on, sometimes I have to repeat this process 3 or 4 times, as I doubt myself so many times that I have wired it up the wrong way. Once I go back and open it up I know it is right, but once I have assembled it back together again the fear kicks in that I didn't check it properly so have to go back and repeat. I am hoping to start CBT within the next week, so hopefully this will help massively. All the best Alex Tricia on "Intrusive Sexual Thoughts and False Memories" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/intrusive-sexual-thoughts-and-false-memories/page/5#post-43283 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:30:50 +0000 Tricia 43283@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ P.S. I know this is insignificant, by comparison, but this afternoon I am more anxious than usual. I passed something I considered to be contaminated. I felt I had brushed against it, even though I was over a two feet away. The more I stressed over it and tried to reassure myself, the more I felt the ‘dirt’ on my arm. The brain is incredible in its ability to create a response, when the mind is focused on a certain area of the body. This is very similar to your sensations, you are so afraid of any reaction that your brain is focused on this area of your body. Dr Phillipson explains it far better than I can! Truddles on "Modelling (modeling) or re-focussing - which works best for you?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/modelling-modeling-or-re-focussing-which-works-best-for-you#post-43282 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:25:22 +0000 Truddles 43282@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ I typed focussing when each time I meant refocussing. Perhaps I should have been focussing on what I was typing <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_neutral.gif" title=":|" class="bb_smilies" /> I left it to late to edit it is it possible for it to be corrected? Tricia on "Intrusive Sexual Thoughts and False Memories" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/intrusive-sexual-thoughts-and-false-memories/page/5#post-43281 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:22:12 +0000 Tricia 43281@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Dear Ibelieve, I do hope you can believe your therapist. Even those paedophiles who feel some guilt over their thoughts, are not disgusted. They may accept that their sexual preference is abhorrent to the rest of society, but the desire (without any disgust) remains. It seems that more often than not OCD will latch on to what distresses or disgusts us the most and therefore your therapist is right, it actually means you will never put these thoughts into action.. I don’t want to misquote David Veale, I don’t have a copy of his book to hand, but in it he states that a person looking for a babysitter or nanny could not choose anyone safer than someone who suffers intrusive thoughts (sexual or harm). This is because people with these thoughts never carry out the vile acts. They are tormented because they are disgusted. It’s what makes these kinds of intrusive thoughts so torturous. As for the sensations which distress you so much, have you read that article by Steven Phillipson? This is also very common with OCD symptoms of a sexual nature. Tricia x Truddles on "Modelling (modeling) or re-focussing - which works best for you?" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/modelling-modeling-or-re-focussing-which-works-best-for-you#post-43280 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:14:18 +0000 Truddles 43280@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ This started off as a very confused thread with statements that didn’t reflect the meaning of either focussing or distraction. So a big thanks to both Andrea and Tricia for helping to clarify the meanings of not only focussing and modelling but also of distraction. Not only that but they also sited examples of all three. Tricia on "FEAR" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fear-1#post-43279 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:55:00 +0000 Tricia 43279@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Sorry, Trudy, I wrote my message while you were sending yours! Tricia on "FEAR" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fear-1#post-43278 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:54:01 +0000 Tricia 43278@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hello Bambi, Welcome to the forum. I think what you are experiencing is very common amongst people with OCD. I am like you and many of my friends also fret over their memories. I started a thread about false memories, these are also very common. We can doubt whether an event took place and with the continual anxiety we can fill in gaps and create false memories. Lee Baer describes how someone without OCD knows they haven’t done or said something inappropriate because they have no recollection of it. Someone with OCD can fret they have done or said something, because they have no recollection of NOT doing it. Best wishes, Tricia. Truddles on "FEAR" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fear-1#post-43277 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:52:18 +0000 Truddles 43277@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Bambi, Welcome to the forum <img src="http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_smile.gif" title=":)" class="bb_smilies" /> A lot of people when they join the forum think that no one else could possibly have the same sort of problems with their OCD that they have. But given time they soon discover that there other people with problems similar to their own. A lot of people seem to experience false memories with OCD. There are times when I know full well that I’ve done something and yet when I try to recall doing it all I can see is the exact reverse. For instance I can know full well that I’ve turned off the tap but when I try to recall doing it all I can see is me turning the tap on. Our OCD always makes us fear the worst and so can play tricks on our memories. Have you been to your GP and asked for treatment for the OCD? The treatment of choice for OCD is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). It could also help with your eating disorder. We’re a friendly forum and do our best to help and support each other. Sometimes it helps to talk to others with OCD. It can help to make things clearer and to see a way forward. Best wishes Trudy Ibelieve on "Intrusive Sexual Thoughts and False Memories" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/intrusive-sexual-thoughts-and-false-memories/page/5#post-43276 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:46:55 +0000 Ibelieve 43276@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi Lauren and everyone else Thank you for your message am sorry to hear that you are all suffering like me. I hate it all this so much, it no only feels me with dread but also with so much self loathing because i feel so guilty and disgusted by my thoughts and the horrid body sensations. I hope we'll all be able to come out of this on the other side and live fulfilled lives. The truth is, before my any of this started, I despised the kind of people I fear I am becoming, so it actually makes no sense that I could be one myself. On good rational day, i remember that and it gives me so relief, I just wish it would last. The other day my therapist tried to make me see things rationally. She pointed out that, if I was to think about it all rationally, I would realise that I will never be the type of people I fear because I don’t ‘WANT’ to act out my thoughts. She went on to explain that, this was different to the awful people who commit such crimes because they WANT to do the things that disgust me. Apparently I couldn’t be more different. She said it was all really simple – If I don’t want to act out, I never will act out. I kind of understand what she’s saying, and it makes sense. Although when my mind is emotionally confused I can’t work out what I feel, I know I have no desire for them for such dirty perverse behavior. I just get scared because the body sensations make me feel like I the thoughts. Wishing you all a good day. x womble on "OCD Scrabble" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/ocd-scrabble/page/4#post-43275 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 09:17:23 +0000 womble 43275@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ OPEN bambi33 on "FEAR" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fear-1#post-43274 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 07:18:47 +0000 bambi33 43274@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ Hi this is the 1st time i ever wrote on a forum im reading alot about ocd i have an eating disorder but its secondary to this ocd only mine is strange. I have real trouble recalling events and memories?does anyone else doubt there memory? a few years ago i was almost in an awful situation which nothing happened in the end but I am doubting the outcome and thinking I AM guilty of something although i cant remember! I keep seeking re-assurance of people that were about at the time and they tell me its black and white to them, that they remember BUT im having trouble...I think because i was so stressed out. I see this pattern where Im ok they I get consumed by a thought anxiety is so high i cannot enjoy anything - its awful - life gets consumed with fear and guilt. Im wondering if anyone else has fear about there past and worrys cause they cannot remember things clear....sounds mad but we are all different, I think ocd is very specific but its so painful jo on "Never ending story" http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/never-ending-story/page/21#post-43273 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 00:09:39 +0000 jo 43273@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ moist chocolate sponge.