http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/forum/ It's Time to Act. OCD Action provides support and information for people affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:58:24 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/search.php http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/struggling-these-last-couple-of-days#post-64340 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:48:43 +0000 citaloman 64340@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Message me if you want Slog. </p> <p>Treat yourself to something nice. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/convinced-and-worried#post-64339 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:42:54 +0000 chrish738 64339@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>I had another spike just now, relating to when I did research online relating to my POCD theme. There was one time when I went on Google and did research on my POCD, by trying to find out if photos of feet were considered illicit, and a link to a bad web site came up, and I just freaked out. I now feel like even though I only saw articles, I have to confess this to authority figures. I hate this. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/well-thats-friday#post-64338 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:40:57 +0000 citaloman 64338@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Something very very weird happened today. I went to my usual friday GP appointment today. I went knowing i was going to tell her about myb suicdal urges and thoughts. My mum came with me and it was horrible having to tell my mum as well. </p> <p>There were many tears and i was scared about being carted away for mentioning my mental conidtion or state. </p> <p>My doctor said the therapist has been very pleased with me and my progress. Although my therapist is very stone faced and keeps her cards close to her chest in terms of smiles and reassurance. So to hear that was good.</p> <p>Anyway, after this my doctor said do you want to tell me what you are worried about. This was something the therapist asked me this week, "do you want me to discuss what you are worried about to your GP within my progress report". I said "no" as i didnt want my GP to hate me or anything. </p> <p>Anyway, i did..! I told her my exact worry. </p> <p>I said i need to know that if i have done this thing what does it mean? Who am i? What am i? </p> <p>Yes it was REASSURANCE but i needed it, i was at a such a low. </p> <p>I awaited the answer thinking whats going to happen next. </p> <p>She said even if i had done what i thought i may have done it was nothing to worry about as it was so slight and nothing to worry about. </p> <p>I to be honest have been so very confused today. My therapist has always said im not interested in what you think you may have done or if you have, its how you instantly label yourself and feel like life is over. </p> <p>Its been a weird day in all, and i even texted my ex saying all this to her and she said she was really proud of me. I dont know what to think to be honest about life, morality and such. </p> <p>I dont feel happy or sad, but know one cares about what im worried about, not even my ex, mum, GP, therapist. </p> <p>Well thats friday...!  </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/help-14/page/3#post-64337 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:36:09 +0000 Mike 64337@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Yeah, as far as I know the percentage of patients that respond well to ERP is about 70% (at least as of 2003). For the remaining 30%, there are several possibilities, such as 1) the ERP simply didn't work, 2) the person was too anxious to do the ERP, 3) the person wasn't convinced that ERP was the right kind of therapy, and therefore wasn't committed, etc. I know firsthand that to do ERP therapy one needs to truly believe that it is the right thing to do, and be very disciplined and motivated to do it, otherwise it definitely won't work.</p> <p>I'm not sure about the success rates of cognitive therapy, but I know historically they have been lower. As for Dr. Schwartz's method, I know that many sufferers find reassurance in his approach, but I'm not sure how these people do after months and years of applying those techniques. It sounds like you know at least one person who has had significant long-term benefits. I do know that out of all the major OCD books out there, Dr. Schwartz's is the most controversial among experts, because many feel that his techniques simply give the patient more to ritualize about. This is partly reflected by the wide range of reviews its received on Amazon, all the way from one star to five stars, compared to most other OCD books that typically have a more homogeneous set of reviews.</p> <p>There have recently been studies using cognitive therapy that have shown equal efficacy to ERP, but the cognitive therapies also included behavioral experiments, so they weren't "pure" cognitive therapy. In this regard, it is impossible to tell whether it was the CT or the BT that made the difference, or if both contributed. It may be that for many patients a combination of both techniques will work better than either alone.</p> <p>I think it's probably true that the best therapy depends largely on the patient him/herself, in terms of 1) which kind of therapy the patient is actually willing to consider, and 2) which therapy makes the most sense to the patient, so that the patient can be motivated to work very hard at it. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/too-obsessed-with-animal-poop#post-64336 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:23:22 +0000 Cuthbert ffoliott 64336@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Hiya BT -</p> <p>your questions to Riya are well-phrased. Perhaps Riya would be willing to weigh her fears of getting infected against the feelings of intense revulsion; knowing how the resulting relative effects of these are would clarify the picture.</p> <p>Good call of yours. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/struggling-these-last-couple-of-days#post-64335 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:30:43 +0000 slogsweep 64335@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Thanks BT, I'll try, and I'll be back in a bit. </p> <p>The number of times the IT's make me want to quit too &lt;img src=&quot;http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif&quot; title=&quot;:(&quot; class=&quot;bb_smilies&quot; /&gt; .</p> <p>Thanks again for your help I really needed some words of support,<br /> Slog </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/struggling-these-last-couple-of-days#post-64334 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:10:52 +0000 bethany 64334@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>I’m OK, Slog. I’ve had the same obsession for years. I work in a school and some days I am OK and at other times the intrusive thoughts make me want to quit.</p> <p>The reason it’s regarded as therapy is because, for many, they become desensitised by what they read/hear. I’ve yet to experience this effect and I have attempted reading such material, listening to loop tapes of what I fear I might do to a child etc. Nothing like that worked (though I know it does for many). The only things for me were medication, exercise and keeping my mind as busy as possible. Oh, and diet, which I do lapse over now and again. The right nutrients do seem to help and when we are depressed it’s all too easy not to eat properly.</p> <p>Go to town if you can, Slog! </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/struggling-these-last-couple-of-days#post-64333 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:04:19 +0000 slogsweep 64333@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>A little, in that I've stopped crying. I think I'll have a bit of breakfast in a bit. How on earth would reading such a thing be therapy? I was doing so well until reading that. </p> <p>Thank you for replying to me when I'm like this. I might also suggest a wander into town for the walk but I'm scared I'll end up buying things compulsively &lt;img src=&quot;http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif&quot; title=&quot;:(&quot; class=&quot;bb_smilies&quot; /&gt; </p> <p>I really hope spring turns up soon, how are you getting on?</p> <p>Slog </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/struggling-these-last-couple-of-days#post-64332 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:02:49 +0000 bethany 64332@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>P.S. Not suggesting you did read it as a form of therapy! </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/struggling-these-last-couple-of-days#post-64331 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:01:13 +0000 bethany 64331@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>I think so, Slog, the cold really seems to be getting to many of us. </p> <p>I know there are those who advocate reading articles like that as a form of therapy, but it certainly never worked for me. Your reaction of being repulsed is such a clear sign that you are not what OCD tells you. Try now to focus on other things if you can. Do you feel any better than when you wrote your first message? </p> <p>Are you able to do any exercise to try to warm up? It also helps my intrusive thoughts. Looks as if this freeze will end by early next week. Spring will soon be here, Slog! </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/struggling-these-last-couple-of-days#post-64330 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:55:11 +0000 slogsweep 64330@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>It was an article about a pervert being sent to prison 30 years after commiting an offence over a period of time starting when he was about 14. I don't know what came over me but I had a total panic attack. I was repulsed by his crimes but then the OCD takes over. </p> <p>Thanks for replying, so being constantly cold would take it's toll?</p> <p>Slog </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/what-can-i-do#post-64329 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:51:09 +0000 bethany 64329@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Dippy, It sounds as if your daughter needs specialist help. Has that ever been suggested? Medication can take 12 weeks before improvement is noticed, by the way. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fear-of-contamination#post-64328 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:46:26 +0000 ocd_mum 64328@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>tony - thank you soo much for sharing your experience with me regarding standing up to the ocd (bully) i am going to show my son this post. You are a credit to yourself. thanks again</p> <p>ocd mum x </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/too-obsessed-with-animal-poop#post-64327 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:43:16 +0000 bethany 64327@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Riya, I don’t know what to advise, but just wanted to say I do feel for you. I know of several people with the same fear (some write on here) and I realise how awful it is. A psychologist suggested a friend of mine bought a dog. Exposure is certainly the recommended treatment, but it doesn’t work for everyone.</p> <p>Was the rat droppings from a pet? If that’s the case it’s most unlikely to be harmful. If it was from a wild rat, there’s no risk there by now. But, do you mainly fear disease,/parasitic infection, or is it more a case of feeling extreme revulsion? </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/help-14/page/3#post-64326 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:27:38 +0000 bethany 64326@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Mike, It’s very interesting to read about your experiences and I am pleased to hear that you are so much better.</p> <p>I truly do believe that many people with OCD have a better understanding of the condition than some professionals. However, there is the danger, and this has been expressed by one of our leading experts here, of an OCD sufferer who has made vast strides, assuming that what worked for her or him will work for everyone. </p> <p>I know a lady who was turned down for treatment at Edna Foa’s clinic. It is believed, by professionals now treating her, that some behaviourists only take on those they expect to respond to their therapy My friend made no improvement at all using Edna Foa’s methods (she followed her book ‘Stop Obsessing!’) but is now considerably better using a very different approach. </p> <p>In your country (and here!) many psychologists frown on the extreme methods of Foa and Grayson. Of course, they do work for a fair percentage and I am pleased their approach worked for you. Your other countryman, Jeffrey Schwartz, advocates a very different therapy. He also boasts a high success rate. I think this is testament to the fact that OCD sufferers cannot all be treated the same. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/struggling-these-last-couple-of-days#post-64325 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:11:49 +0000 bethany 64325@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Sorry to hear this, Slog. It is a terrible time of year and I think so many of us are cold and depressed. With that the OCD worsens. I don’t say that meaning ‘just get on with it, we’re all in the same boat’, but to empathise and stress you are not alone. Can you write about the article, it might help. </p> <p>Don’t even consider stopping your medication, it may be helping or the CBT. Not sure whether you were saying one doesn’t seem to be helping or both. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/struggling-these-last-couple-of-days#post-64324 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:52:27 +0000 slogsweep 64324@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Hello everyone, </p> <p>Firstly I'm sorry I haven't been on as much as I normally am, been strangely busy with work and our broadband's not the best. I'm having a rotten couple of days and I'm scared of it turning into a relapse rather than a setback. I read a horrible story in the paper and it's really shaken me and I've been spiking all over the place since early yesterday afternoon. It's as if all the progress I've made has been wiped out. </p> <p>I cried my eyes out this morning thinking "how can I get a job like this?" "how can I have a family with this condition" "what if my kids suffer like me, terrified every day of their miserable lives?", "how can I support my girlfriend (who's going through hell also) if I can't be certain I can support myself". Etcetc. </p> <p>I've lost my appetite again too and have been struggling to get up. I've felt the depression building up the last few days. Our house is desperately cold and I've little to motivate me at university. Then wham, that article and I'm back on the floor. I don't know what to do and I'm really gutted. My next CBT session is Tuesday afternoon and I am still taking my meds, though I doubt whether there's much point if I'm still capable of feeling like this. </p> <p>Slog &lt;img src=&quot;http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif&quot; title=&quot;:(&quot; class=&quot;bb_smilies&quot; /&gt; </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/really-need-some-advise#post-64323 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:21:05 +0000 KittyCat1989 64323@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Thanks Mike,<br /> I did have CBT a few years ago about a different problem, I checked stuff a lot and I know that if I get the urge to check something to resist doing it. Thanks for the advice, I will tell him what you said.<br /> Cat x </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/never-ending-story-2-3/page/24#post-64322 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:29:49 +0000 Nimrod 64322@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>electric Christmas crackers </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/what-can-i-do#post-64321 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 08:56:52 +0000 fluffyclouds 64321@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>i feel absolutely useless at the moment my daughter is 12 had ocd since she was about 4 had first lot of cbt at 7 it did help for a while now its a different story shannagh is now on medication started about 5 weeks ago. just finished another lot of cbt if you could call it that, no consistency whatsoever breaks of 6 weeks 3weeks 2 weeks and now the councellor has gone on maternity leave! we are left with nothing but we are seeing the psyhchiatrist in 5 weeks to check on meds.last night shannagh was crying because she says she knows that i wont be allowed to touch her soon, and she doesnt want it to happen it makes her feel so bad. i dont know what to do the ocd just keeps on escalating her rituals more complex, and she asks me when will the medication start working, she really needs a councellor to help her through this but when i asked the psychiatrist was very reluctant. so it looks like we are dumped. its my fault for accepting a trainee councellor for quickness. there was no connection with her and shannagh.anyone got any suggestions. thanks </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/too-obsessed-with-animal-poop#post-64320 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:59:32 +0000 riya 64320@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Thx Cuthbert for your help.</p> <p>I have been having this for atleast a year now..I am not able to recall when it started..Urge to clean myself is ok types...like anybody else would have...</p> <p>Maily it is with poop...For eg, after repeated washes I cant use a bedsheet on which I once saw some rat dropppings. I cant let my daughter enter our hose-servants bathroom...though she keeps it squeaky clean...PLEASE HELP </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/convinced-and-worried#post-64319 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 04:11:16 +0000 chrish738 64319@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>I sent you a PM, Mike. At this point, I'm not going to try to figure it out. It probably doesn't matter, because whatever I saw or may have seen, no matter what it was, was on older computers that have long since died out, and are long gone, and that's what I am going to accept. I just worry about my confession compulsion, like I will get in trouble anyway despite this, if I talk to anyone about this. I just need to accept this, no matter what happened in the past, and move on. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/convinced-and-worried#post-64318 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 03:17:11 +0000 Mike 64318@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>chrish738 -</p> <p>You are trying to seek certainty that you did not see, or did not intentionally look at, these disturbing images. However, absolute certainty is an illusion and is never attainable. No matter what evidence you come up with, the OCD will always say, "but what if...?" Therefore, attempts to reassure yourself that you didn't look at these things will always unfortunately be in vain, and actually feed the obsessive-compulsive cycle. </p> <p>We have no choice but to live with doubt and uncertainty every day of our lives, all day. What if I die in a car accident tomorrow? What if a serial killer kills my parents? What if that lump I have will turn into a deadly form of cancer? All of these are very real possibilities, and yet unless our OCD targets these topics, we never think about them. Why? Because we can tolerate uncertainty on these topics. And it's a good thing we can, because as I said, there is always uncertainty and doubt and nothing can be proven 100%. Your problem is that you can't tolerate even the slightest doubt or uncertainty about whether or not you intentionally looked at these images, so your goal should be to learn to accept that you will never know for sure. CBT is the way to do this, focusing on ERP therapy.</p> <p>Absolutely avoid any reassurance seeking behavior, any attempts to "figure it out", and you'll be on the right track. No matter how anxious this makes you, if you want to overcome this problem you have to stay strong and resist the compulsive urges, and the anxiety will naturally go down on its own.</p> <p>-Mike </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/really-need-some-advise#post-64317 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 03:08:34 +0000 Mike 64317@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Yes, doubt is the key. Doubt is something that we all have no choice but to live with. Your OCD problem right now is that you can't tolerate ANY doubt on this topic. But absolute certainty of anything is an illusion, so we all have no choice but to tolerate doubt about EVERYTHING. For example, it would be impossible for your boyfriend to prove that you haven't cheated on him since you last saw him. This is simply a fact. Therefore, there will always be doubt with regard to this subject. He may FEEL certain that you haven't, but feelings are not always based on logic. So he can't know for sure, and will never be able to know for sure, however, he doesn't obsess about this, so he's obviously tolerating the doubt and uncertainty. Your goal should be to learn to tolerate the uncertainty and doubt about all your fears, and the way to do this is CBT therapy, specifically ERP. It can be done on one's own, but if you're not experienced with it it's much better to have a good therapist to coach you.</p> <p>-Mike</p> <p>P.S. If you don't want to miss talking to him for a day (which is understandable), just tell him that next time something gets in the way of you two talking for one night (he has to go to bed early, etc.), not to tell you what the reason was. Any time there is a possibility that he lied to you, tell him to make sure not to reassure you that he's telling the truth. You need to learn to live with and accept uncertainty. And definitely don't seek reassurance from him, for example asking him repeatedly if he loves you, if he's going to break up with you, etc. And doing all of this may make you very anxious, but if you want to overcome this problem you have to stay strong and sit with the anxiety and not try to do anything to fix it, and it will go down naturally on its own. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/convinced-and-worried#post-64316 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:13:34 +0000 chrish738 64316@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Now, I am not even sure if I went on websites I know I shouldn't have, in addition to feeling convinced that I saw things I shouldn't have. It probably doesn't matter anyway because whatever I saw on the old computers doesn't exist anymore (and I have reason to believe that this probably happened during that time). I just hate feeling this way, and I don't know what to do. I can't accept this. I feel like I'll get in trouble anyway if I say anything about it to anyone, regardless of if it's all gone. I just can't take it anymore. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/really-need-some-advise#post-64315 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:58:14 +0000 KittyCat1989 64315@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Thanks Mike.<br /> I think I will try telling him that, it is hard though because seeing as we live so far away from each we do try to talk every day. I have sort of got myself into a routine of coming home from work and talking to him online which I don't think helped at all, it means that even if I talk to him during the day when I don't speak to him at night then it feels like I haven't spoken to him for ages and that he's avoiding me &lt;img src=&quot;http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_sad.gif&quot; title=&quot;:(&quot; class=&quot;bb_smilies&quot; /&gt; I know that I shouldn't have routines (I do have most of them under control at the moment), especially one that involves another person because I know I can't guarantee what they are going to do.<br /> I know that he wouldn't say things to me that he doesn't mean or isn't going to do but obviously I still doubt it. I am hoping that we are going to move in together soon and that it will help me stop doubting everything but although it might make it easier I know it won't go away.<br /> Cat x </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/never-ending-story-2-3/page/24#post-64314 Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:23:03 +0000 Soxon 64314@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>decorated with tiny </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/what-are-your-obsessions-and-what-self-help-do-you-use#post-64313 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 23:29:41 +0000 Mike 64313@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>My obsessions are about success with the opposite sex, and I use ERP therapy. </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/charles-a-checker-saying-hello#post-64312 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 23:23:33 +0000 chazinglasgow 64312@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Hi,</p> <p>Registered a while back but thought it time to say hello and mentioning a possible help source: run by Derek Soto<br /> .. got the stuff and will browse over it.</p> <p>I have moderate OCD checking and, I guess, rumination and need to come on here and interact more.</p> <p>Right now I think I'm a wee bit stoned and enjoying music on the PC</p> <p>The above help link is authentic and I hope to discuss it with people.</p> <p>I am genuine and will be on the forums regularly from now on.</p> <p>Sorry if I've embarrassed anyone by this type of ice-breaker.</p> <p>Take care folks,</p> <p>Charles &lt;img src=&quot;http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_smile.gif&quot; title=&quot;:-)&quot; class=&quot;bb_smilies&quot; /&gt; </p> http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/fear-of-contamination#post-64311 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 23:22:13 +0000 tony72 64311@http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/ <p>Hey mike thanks for your comment it's so true what you say, I couldn't agree anymore, you basically phrased Everything what I wanted to say in an eggshell &lt;img src=&quot;http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/bb-plugins/bb-smilies/default/icon_wink.gif&quot; title=&quot;;)&quot; class=&quot;bb_smilies&quot; /&gt; thanks </p>