OCD by Daniel North - 25/9/2003

Each existing second
Each contemporary day
Pours waters of struggle
Each moment is an impediment
Erasing goals of absolute purification
That irritates my unsullied flesh
Forever torment in the wasteland
So afraid of the dust that is forever breeding.

I lift my body from the bleach scented bed
Never losing contact with the plastic cover
Closed doors are a familiar enemy
Never to soil my hands on the metallic gleam
Safer to expose my elbow to the awakened filth of day.
Rubbing violently, soap on brush, brush on soap
Digging further, I see where the parasites propagate tiny monsters
I begin to drown and suffocate in the dust that is forever breeding.

Each daily obstacle overflows
Each day getting slowly harder
I can't see things getting easier
The creeping trepidation
Floods over broken pavement stones
The cruel losing battle of the unclean
I want wipe myself from view
So no one is able to see me
Or the dust that is forever breeding.

I need to scale my skin
Harder and deeper
To uproot the dirt in me
I want be beautiful as a flower opening
For guilt to dissolve, reassurance must be unremittingly fed
Away from the rooms and confines of another anxiety dream
I measure the intensity of the night
In the dust that is forever breeding.

I have no doubt when alone
As I have complete control
Unlike the ring of the telephone
That travels the voices of extinction
A society of hidden disease
Fenced and defended
Are the provinces of meat
To the dust that is forever breeding.

I spit on the ground to dampen the growing repulsive visions
Particles hover annoyingly near my disinfected pupils
The walls are melting into strips of rotting residue
Need to clean, clarify and refine these mountains of profligacy
As the grip of depression chokes around my heaving throat
I desire to be the walking untainted, perfuming the rays of the sun
Yellow marigolds protect my undamaged hands to infection
And the fear that grows in the dust that is forever breeding.